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Original poster

Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
LanaDReye · 19/04/2017 20:47

Fortuna I've found out at the 2 months stage that one date was shortly off for 9 months abroad and that it was likely to be a distance relationship he was also a bit dull another had shopping addiction issues and dubious hygiene methods the final had a passive agressive streak and wanted to 'correct me'.

They all seemed to have potential at the start!

Elsa talking about ONS before you've already met is massive red flag. He could be sending the same message to 20 other women hoping to get lucky.

LanaDReye · 19/04/2017 20:52

Lettuce I like the idea of checking out the competition. May go off and do that myself...but I'm I'm also not tall, blonde with a Snapchat account so may not be able to match the competition Wink

ElsasAuntie · 19/04/2017 20:53

I'm not going to meet him as I just feel uncomfortable about the way he kept going on about sleeping with him. Seems odd that he can ask about that but not my name.

OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 20:57

I doubt I an match that competition - Brown hair streaked with grey , glasses, no boob photos, no pout, not even much of a smile.

I had six messages during the day today. Two were new people, four were guys from last night following up. One says I look 25 in my photos. I am 49 in two weeks :) Sadly they all look like pensioners but there you go.

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 19/04/2017 21:02

I wouldn't want to match that competition. I never struggle to get a date and I'm a non pouty; sensibly clad brunette. I wouldn't want to be anything else. The men I date don't like that look either (they wouldn't be dating me if they did I guess!). I'd look daft blonde, I'm olive skinned with dark eyes.

OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 21:03

Elsa - right decision!

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 19/04/2017 21:24

I ask because when I was talking to Miss Dog, once I'd decided not on talk anymore I just stopped. She sent a follow up saying how has your day been and then a third saying if you've changed your mind about me that's fine.

I felt a little bad about it but I still feel just vanishing is the best thing even though it's annoying when it happens back over!!

OP posts:
OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 21:32

I tend to just stop talking to them and after a week or so I delete their last message thread to tidy up.

One guy sent each message as a new one from my profile, not as a reply, so I ended up with an inbox just full of his photo!

If one said 'if you've changed your mind that's fine' it would annoy me actually. Of course it's fine for me to change my mind. But, I guess if they were 'nice but not interesting enough' and I was feeling kind, I might say 'sorry, don't think we're suited, good luck', or something. Can't hurt, if they take it badly and start arguing then just delete and block if necessary.

OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 21:39

Here is the transcript of a convo I decided not to follow up:

"Him: hello,
just noticed you but it is late isnt it,hope you had a good easter break

Me: It is late. Chat tomorrow? It's my general policy not to chat to people who have 'just ask' as their profile.....so...
Night!

Him, next morning: yes fair play new here havent done profile,is that on my profile then "just ask"

Me: It says something like that. I'm sure you can see it yourself :)

Him: dont check but yes im sure i can see

Him: how has your time been here so far"

So far he's not really caught my attention! It's just disrespectful not to put anything in your profile and then to claim you don't even know what it says? Not to mention his first message was a bit Hmm as if I am a sweet in a candy store he gets to try out or something.

fortunacookie · 19/04/2017 21:39

Info Grinat Miss Dog !

fortunacookie · 19/04/2017 21:42

That's the mentality of most men online though outtogetyou sadly

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 19/04/2017 21:46

OutToGetYou that is atrocious. I despair, I really do. Can stick his just ask right up his ask.

OP posts:
OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 21:49

I was a bit high-handed to be fair, I should have just ignored his first message, it does me no good to be snide to people really.

Mangoandpassionfruit · 19/04/2017 21:52

I can better that one outtogetyou 😂

Last week I had ....

Hey

Hey there

Hey there are you there

Hey hey are you there are you ignoring me?

Hey I'm here, where are you

These were sent over a 10 minute period, I'm still struggling to remember why I didn't respond 😂😂

lettucesoup · 19/04/2017 22:04

Infosec I have in the past said to those I no longer wish to message that I am unsure if we have enough in common. It usually results in them immediately blocking or deleting me.

When guys I have been messaging disappear there is rarely an explanation.

On a random note I remember quite a few years ago going on a first date with a guy.
We supposedly liked each other.
His messaging afterwards slowed down a bit and then stopped.
A week later he sent an email to say he had been first dating a few different women.
He had found someone who he liked more than me.
I suppose it was nice of him to let me know.
However it just shows that you never can tell what the other person might be up to.

LanaDReye · 19/04/2017 22:05

😂
I'm remembering why I loved this thread before. I just wish I met a man with the same humour instead of the nut jobs I've met so far

LanaDReye · 19/04/2017 22:12

Sorry Lsoup I was laughing at the amazing conversation messages not yours, which made sense to me.

I have let men that I've written several messages to over many days know that I'm off OLD messaging when I've met someone for a few dates. One man I picked up a chat thread again later, but I then chose to date another man again. He seemed lovely but only recently out of a LTR wondering if he's free now and got past rebound time .

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 19/04/2017 22:13

I'm laughing at that guy from Mango.

'Hey I'm here, where are you're

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
InfoSec21 · 19/04/2017 22:13

Wish we could edit posts.

OP posts:
Mangoandpassionfruit · 19/04/2017 22:18

I tell you I must have the type of face that invites scintillating conversation. It's made me laugh again you lot laughing.

lettucesoup · 19/04/2017 22:19

Jaysus Mango
I thought I had messaged a few eejits.
You definitely win the prize so far!!!

OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 22:31

Yes, he's persistent at least!

Bant · 19/04/2017 22:42

Well I've had a monologue from one messager, over the course of 10 days or so:

"Hey there :)"
"Hey there :)"
"Hey there :)"
"Hey there :)"
"Hey there :)"
"Hey there :)"
"Hey there :)"

You think at some point that she'd realise I'm not going to respond. Maybe after the third time.

I'm sure it's some button that I don't see on POF : 'irritate user' - so you can just press that button and it sends a lazy arse text to them instead of you having to type it.

Amazing how popular that option is

OutToGetYou · 19/04/2017 22:47

Bant - the 'flirt' button on POF sends that "Hey there" thing. I did it once, thinking it was just a thing, then saw that message in my 'sent' folder and thought "I didn't send that to anyone" then realised where it came from - really annoying from both sides.

So, from her end, she is just 'flirting', she may not even have realised that's what it does.

LanaDReye · 19/04/2017 22:52

Bant she may be the one, her tea leaves told her to pursue you and she's all out for your attention or she's just a bit thick .