social services took my beautiful children

[user1491683745]

it really is not fair to do it to someone who absolutely loves and adores them they really need me and are probably so unhappy i am so done with life and really really want them with me

gamerchick For whatever reason, OP doesn't want to go into detail. Maybe she's in shock.

The people saying how can she not know why her children were taken after s visited... I know that when people are diagnosed with cancer the doctor who tells them will make allowances for the fact that after delivering the diagnosis most people won't remember any of the conversation after that point, and certainly not all the details. So surely it is possible that the op wouldn't be able to accurately report what she was told even if (and sorry I have no idea if this is the case) social service did explain why the children had to be taken so quickly. Hope you get some answers soon op!

I understand that. But you can't give advice without something to go on and lashing out because nobody understands like they should will just wind the OP up further.

OP turn off MN and reach out IRL for now. Your head is obviously battered and this thread won't help.

OP, having been in a somewhat similar situation, all I can say is that the most important thing will be to stay as calm and collected as possible when talking to the authorities; also, as other posters have suggested to seek some real-life support. When you do talk to SS, answer any questions they put as fully and honestly as possible and try not to show your frustration.

I think people are being very unkind. We don't need to know why or when. We just know that op is in bits. I took the thread as a cry out for a hand hold

gamerchick I 100% agree with you I think people don't think before they post of the practicalities involved. That's both when the post is fake or genuine tbh.

I agree Gandalf. And I don't like blind social services bashing. But that doesn't mean that the response to this sort of thread should be interrogation/you must have done something/criticisms of the ops wording.

I'm sorry, children are not taken into care for no reason.

Whatever your child told them must have related to an immediate concern. You say they need you, but you child must have rung CL needing protection from something in your home. They must have been convincing enough for SS to go to a lot of trouble and expense to place them somewhere else. Perhaps you need to do some digging?

Hope you have some rl support op

Poster's aren't being harsh. Children have been taken away from their mother because of serious allegations. They wouldn't have been taken for nothing. My sympathy lies with the children here.

No one is able to help you because your op is so unclear and you haven't answered any of the questions you've been asked. As a result people are trying to work out what's happened by joining the dots. What's clear is that allegations have been made by your son which have led your kids to be removed due to immediate safety concerns. As you've not been told the detail of the allegations (and judging by the statement read to you) the allegations relate to you or your partner. Get some real life support and some legal advice. You will receive support on mumsnet if you want to talk about it properly when the shock has worn off. What I would say though is that if everything isn't quite right in your household, be honest with yourself and don't minimise or you'll never be able to fix it

I know someone who has had chance after chance after chance to lookafter their children properly andthis is with ss involvement and the children are still with her and really they should not be,so whatever has happened has to be really serious because they do not just walkin and take your children away for nothing.

To be fair, we cannot know for sure if the allegations that have been made are truthful, or if there has been a misunderstanding (as happened to us, though with less disastrous consequences). Mistakes do happen, though then again most of the time they do not.

All we can say is that the OP needs to stay as calm and cooperative as she can.

You must be absolutely reeling. If you want - at a later point - I know there are people on here that can give you practical advice. I am a social worker, although it's been some years since I worked in child protection but if you want to talk, feel free to drop me a line.

What has your partner said (in the conversations you and him surely must have had after SS came to your home to tell you your children were not coming home)?

No-one is attacking you on here, people are just asking very simple questions so they can understand better and thus answer your very own OP better. Very simple questions such as when was this? what location were they taken from (3 is very little so from nursery?) what paperwork have they left with you and what does it say? Etc etc.

I think it's possibly the fact that you are choosing not to answer simple questions such as those repeated above that is then leading PPs to be a bit more reserved about the situation.

And genuinely, whilst I have no experience of SS, I can't help but think it must be in your best interests to engage with them; to ensure you don't fly off the handle; and to not make it all about you and your own pain. I suspect what they will be looking for is your concern about the children rather than for yourself and it's probably wise to be aware that they will be observing and note taking right from the get go (IE your reaction to their visit, your own questions, whether you indicated you would be willing to change anything or anyone in your life if that meant your children could safely be at home).

Please know that like many of us I suspect, I hope your children are okay and as settled as they can be right now; likewise that the outcome of all of this is the best one for them

OP you need to get real life support asap. Get someone to sit with you tonight and get proper legal representation asap. CAB can point you in the right direction. There is nothing anyone on here can do. You need irl support asap.

There's some dreadful comments on here. None of us know enough about the situation to really have an opinion but don't let that stop you from wading in and judging.

Hi OP,

I'm hoping I can be some help. I used to be a volunteer Childline counsellor, so do have some knowledge on the service. It's such a misconception that Childline is there for children who are only suffering abuse, most of our calls (fortunately) are not about abuse (for example, I used to only get a call on sexual abuse once a month, personally). Anyway, it is so so rare for us to need to break confidentiality in the way in which it sounds like it has happened. They would have believed that if he were left that night, he would have been killed. We can't even break confidentiality if we know they will be punched/raped, etc. tomorrow, it just isn't allowed, so they must have had reason to believe he would have been killed. This is seriously so rare. Most of our confidentiality breaks are due to suicidal young people and we do have to get the police to them. I am not a social worker so absoloutley can't advise much on that part of it, but it seems like there are lots on here. I just wanted to say that Childline personally would have had to have very good reason he was going to be killed, for example. However, we can break confidentiality if the young person asks us to and have sent the police before to collect children but they would not be 'taken' it would be so people go and speak to who ever is involved asap to make an assessment if that child is safe, so that doesn't sound like what has happened. We also do recieve many prank calls, but again we have to be 100% sure that's a prank call, so we do hate to risk that and most likely wouldn't.

I know some people are telling you to look at other people OP and I agree, but there is no way would they have removed them if they believed you could offer them a safe place, so for example, if the allegation was against your DP, Childline would ask many questions such as "is telling your mum an option?" "Do you feel safe around your mum" etc. etc. if that makes sense? If the answer was "yes, I know my mum would keep me safe but I can't speak to her about it" social services would tell you and then child would not be taken away, so it has to have been clear that you couldn't keep these children safe, if that makes sense??

There has been some good practical advice on this thread, OP, you probably can't see it or take it in at the moment but it's there.

Op, my heart is with you.

Not enough information for proper advice but slow down OP, get all the information, be upfront if you don't understand what's being said - only when you have all of the information will you be able to formulate a plan forward. Did anyone leave you a card? Can you take a deep breathe and call after hours to explain that you were in shock and didn't understand, get more information on the process? As a SW myself typically the only time full disclosure isn't immediately given is if there is a coinciding police investigation that require interviews where they don't want suspected offender to have the details ahead of time. Did they mention your partner OP?

I hope you're offline getting some real life support.

I'm sorry not everyone has replied with compassion.

I hope you don't mind me asking, and I'm absolutely not troll hunting, but there was another thread a few days ago that sounded a bit similiar, and I was just wondering if you had tested the waters posting here when this whole thing was just starting. Or, of course it was completely unrelated!

It all sounds so confusing, and I think you are in shock and that makes it very hard to take in information, especially when it's all such unfamiliar territory.

But honestly. Information is your friend right now, you have to be prepared to hear things you don't like and never ever expected to have to deal with. Horribly hard and a huge test of strength to get through it.

People often say that they don't know stuff when it's actually that they dismiss what they're being told, as to them, it cannot be true.

So it feels like nobody's told them the reasons, even though they have been told, they just cannot accept it.

I have no idea if that's what you are going through right now, but it's something to be aware of in the next few days. You'll be going through some pretty stressful times in the next few days, and you'll have to dig deep to find the strength within yourself to hear upsetting stuff and make the right decisions to show how well you can protect and care for your son and smaller children.

Good luck

Op sorry you're going through this. You need to try and stay calm at least when you're dealing with ss and police. Consider everything you say carefully and say only things you'd want read back in a court of law.
You need legal advice asap.

It is clear from what you've said OP that police took your children under their Powers of Protection. Police are the only agency who can take children without warning.

Social Services have to then be involved to find a place for the children to live.

In this case it appears to have been a police led case, due to fact that you've never been visited by social care before and the fact that you've been told that you cannot be informed what the allegations are yet. There's a good reason for that and it will have been police who told social care not to disclose information.

I'm not sure whether the social worker will have given you a list of local family law solicitors or not. Usually that's good practice but it may be that this is a case where it's not yet clear which area of law will be most relevant.

Try and get some care and support in real life. You will find out more by Monday, certainly Tuesday.