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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

social services took my beautiful children

473 replies

user1491683745 · 08/04/2017 21:41

it really is not fair to do it to someone who absolutely loves and adores them they really need me and are probably so unhappy i am so done with life and really really want them with me

OP posts:
Handsoffmysweets · 09/04/2017 04:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

harrypotternerd · 09/04/2017 04:54

you must be in complete shock. hope you are ok OP

SnugglyBedSocks · 09/04/2017 05:46

This reply has been deleted

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Devilishpyjamas · 09/04/2017 05:51

Did you get given the number for the investigating officer? They have specialist police officers for child safeguarding. There will be a big multiagency meeting very quickly to decide next steps. As others have said if police led SS may not be able to say much

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 09/04/2017 06:09

From my experience of working in local authorities, most staff are pretty much incompetant. They follow proceedures regardless of the result. And when the inevetable outcome is a right balls up, they refuse to acknowledge they have done anything wrong. How could they? they were following procedures?

So yes children are not taken away from pqrents withiut a reason. The reason is because no one stopped to think and ask "have we got the facts right? Have we made the right decision?"

Gallavich · 09/04/2017 07:18

Lots of social worker bashing on this thread.

For what it's worth the procedure to take children into care varies.

Section 20 is a short term admittance with parental consent.
Care order ALWAYS always requires the parents to be informed and legally represented via legal aid. even if it's an emergency order.
Police protection is the decision of the police not social workers and requires evidence of immediate risk of harm. It lasts 72 hours in which time the local authority have to apply to court or return the children to the parents.

From what OP said it sounds like it was police protection. In which case the 11 year old must have disclosed something that would make the police believe all children were at immediate risk of harm.
Police services don't take out police protection lightly or unnecessarily because it's a lot of work and paperwork apart from anything else.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/04/2017 07:24

He might have been round at his dad's. There could be somebody/something there, or at the grandparents' place, putting him at risk. Neither OP or her partner may be "guilty" of anything more than not knowing what's going on when the child is not in their care. This is one hell of a way to find out, but so much better that it is found out. It's going to be a grim weekend until all the useful agencies open up again...

Gallavich · 09/04/2017 07:27

If there was a risk at the dad's or grandparents then the police would have arrested them, not removed them from their mum.

AyeAmarok · 09/04/2017 07:27

I'd be having conversations with your partner OP.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2017 07:31

I also think it's clear the op doesn't want to go into detail, which is fair enough. It's hard for anyone to help without it though.

I wasn't aware police could swoop in and take three children without at least giving a reason why, but it looks like all that's been said is some allegations have been made over a couple of weeks of phone calls from the son to childline and thy wish to remove the children and then investigate. If this is the case it has to have been very very serious indeed and the children were deemed as of significant risk of immediate harm.

Op. you will know more shortly about the allegations against you and your partner, that's guaranteed. In the meantime the children will be in a place of safety to ensure they are protected.

Handsoffmysweets · 09/04/2017 07:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

MovingtoParadise · 09/04/2017 07:42

Right, so you don't know anything yet ?

They've taken the children because of allegations that your 11 year old has made. That means that he has said something that indicates he or his siblings aren't safe in you and your boyfriends care.

There is some good advice on this thread. Comply with everything social services say while they carry out their investigations, be completely honest.

Be aware you might find out some very difficult things he's disclosed.

Call your children's assigned social worker or the duty social worker and ask for a meeting.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2017 07:43

Thanks hands, yes, that's the bit that was news to me that police didn't have to tell you. But guess it makes sense if an investigation to follow.. I think I'd be going out of my mind worrying why my child was using childline for a couple of weeks and what the allegations were and were my children at risk, but I don't see this from the op, which makes me pause.

themusicmum · 09/04/2017 07:45

Hi op,

I have some sense of the panic you must be feeling, as I have had my children almost removed by ss. The panic is real, the fear is almost unbearable. But from experience, you are best to work with them. They have more power than you will ever know, and could take them and get an order. You are best to work with them, find out what happened and work on allowing them to help you. I also know it could take a long time... Our case is still happening at the moment, although they were never removed from the home. No abuse involved in my case, but I know the frustration, the fear etc. Good luck with it all and keep us posted.

TinyPawz · 09/04/2017 08:17

I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. I hope you get the answers you need soon.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/04/2017 08:23

I cannot imagine how you feel right now. You've had some brilliant advice. You will find the whole process of this ordeal if you cooperate with social services. Please take some solace knowing that your children are safe. Even if you don't know where they are.

daisychain01 · 09/04/2017 08:27

I personally think the
OP shouldn't divulge info on this thread even if she gets it. As long as things get resolved that all she needs to say, she doesn't owe us an explanation or details.

user1487175389 · 09/04/2017 08:29

OP, if they didn't 'just snatch the children away without saying anything' can you remember what they said?

If it was me, I'd be going over and over the details trying to piece everything together into a coherent picture. And giving posters here enough information to help me. Then again it's easy to say that when it's not me this has happened to.

gandalf456 · 09/04/2017 08:29

Very good point especially if police are involved. Could be detrimental. She doesn't owe us an explanation

Oblomov17 · 09/04/2017 08:31

You have my every sympathy OP.
The police and SS are very powerful, like a pp said, and you have no idea how powerful, until it happens to you. Having your children removed is a very scary thing and makes you feel so powerless.

Often, The police and SS are very under resourced and everything takes a lot longer than it should. In our county they have such a shortage of skilled people to interview children, that it can take 6 weeks to even get the children's interview arranged. Very poor.

Don't let them bully you. You have rights.

Press for things to be done in a 'true and fair' and 'timely' manner.

MNHQ
FlissMumsnet · 09/04/2017 08:31

Hi There OP,
We hope you don't mind us popping in but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as some posters have suggested, it's a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread and we really hope things start to look up for you soon Flowers

Donthate · 09/04/2017 08:33

Try to stay calm OP and let out any anger on here. Take the good advic here on board. Comply with the social workers and hopefully your DC will be home soon.

debbs77 · 09/04/2017 08:37

A person further up has worked for Child line and has given some excellent advice and an insight into the steps they take. To break confidentiality, they must've felt the child was in danger of being killed xx

Glossolalia · 09/04/2017 08:44

The post by DebsS12 is worth reading, OP.

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/04/2017 08:55

Surely if the police thought the children were in immediate danger wouldn't they have arrested the person not let them go free and put the children through all this.

It doesn't make sense.

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