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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

social services took my beautiful children

473 replies

user1491683745 · 08/04/2017 21:41

it really is not fair to do it to someone who absolutely loves and adores them they really need me and are probably so unhappy i am so done with life and really really want them with me

OP posts:
corythatwas · 08/04/2017 22:52

Do you know the main gist of the allegations? Is it you that is the alleged danger or your partner?

Darbs76 · 08/04/2017 22:52

Have they given any numbers to call? You need to find out more details about what he has said. I assume more will be said in 3 days when they seek an order but I don't know much about it. But do stay strong. Your children will be ok and be with people who are trained well in helping young and confused children.

LovingLola · 08/04/2017 22:52

Would your partner hurt them?

NancyWake · 08/04/2017 22:52

No-one is attacking you OP, they're trying to help you.

Did you attend the court hearing?

treaclesoda · 08/04/2017 22:52

People haven't said that you are harming your children.

But equally, things like this don't happen for no reason.

So maybe it's not about you harming them, but about you not being able to protect them from someone else?

SpiritedLondon · 08/04/2017 22:53

If one child is making disclosure about a harmful situation they ( police or SS) have to balance the risk of leaving the child versus removing him / her ( and the potential distress this can cause). They can't leave other children in the same address to be potentially subjected to the same harm can they? You can't unfortunately talk to him because you may be the suspect and you may try and pressure him to alter his account and they need to try and establish what has happened without interference.

woman12345 · 08/04/2017 22:53

Flowers OP, can you get advice, and get them back. Take it one step at a time.

ShamefulDodger · 08/04/2017 22:53

That was quick.

DaffodilTime · 08/04/2017 22:53

OP I thought I was having a dreadful day and I can't imagine the stress and panic this would send me into and it sounds extremely odd that it can happen so suddenly like this. my first thought would definitely be that hope the children are all ok as your son must have revealed something very serious? Is this not a bigger concern for you as if there's nothing wrong it will all be ok even if feels an absolute nightmare now?

Concentrate on looking after yourself for the sake of your children and definitely find RL support too as this is an extreme place of stress to be in as far as I can see and I feel for everyone

NancyWake · 08/04/2017 22:54

And no-one is accusing you of hurting your kids OP, they're asking if it was your partner and/or whether he has issues.

corythatwas · 08/04/2017 22:54

What treaclesoda said- could it be that the allegations are about somebody other than you?

LettuceMash · 08/04/2017 22:55

When did this happen OP?

LIZS · 08/04/2017 22:55

Turning it into your own pain is also not going to cut it with ss. They will need to see how you can prevent them coming to harm and meet their needs, not just physical but emotional, even before your own or your ps. Such action to remove is not premeditated , especially at the weekend.

Papafran · 08/04/2017 22:55

So, who turned up to remove them? Police or SS? SS need a court order (EPO) to remove in an emergency.

You have had no contact, no meetings with SS before this happened?

You have not been given any written information about the basis for removal, such as a copy of any ex parte order?

The children's schools have not been informed of any issues?

You have not been told how long the children have been removed for or had any contact arrangements put in place?

If this is the case, you should consider judicial review of the local authority, but again, you need legal advice.

Original poster
user1491683745 · 08/04/2017 22:55

my son has been using childline for the last couple of weeks it was only the last call where they were concerned for his safety and no i am not a dreadful mother who is worried about him using that service its a good service and he used it a lot when he was bullied last year and when his grandad died i dont have an issue with that and i think its a good service for him especially as he is very shy but this is a whole new step i cant fathom what allegations he has made and i am most worried about him of course i am but i dont know what the bloody hell i can do to help him i do not bloody know because i would do it i would fucking kill anyone who touched my babies but i dont know who or what has gone on and all i know is they are gone from me before i had a chance to do anything about it i would die for my kids i would kill for them all i know is i am going out of my mind

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 08/04/2017 22:56

It must seem like a million questions sorry pet but the more people know the clearer they understand and the better support they can offer.

When did it happen?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 08/04/2017 22:56

I'd try to remain calm and collect yourself tonight. Did they say they'd be in touch tomorrow or Monday?

Wherever your kids are, they are safe. Perhaps the thing that your son is scared of is something you are unaware of?

I'd trust that they are doing the right thing for them (and for you )short term and hopefully whatever it is that has distressed your son can be resolved.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 08/04/2017 22:56

FloggingMolly. I choose to ignore your posts all over the boards because I vehemently disagree with your attitude to life & the universe. Please feel free to do the same with mine.

However, to answer your question, because 'he' does not fit in that sentence, but 'they' does & because her opening post is about why social services would do this to her. Not her son. Social services.

RJnomore1 · 08/04/2017 22:57

Did they leave you any paperwork? I can understand you not reading it straight away?

BlueFolly · 08/04/2017 22:58

Do you live with a partner?

PickAChew · 08/04/2017 22:58

Is your partner the 11 year old's father? (I may have missed this info)

I know you're understandably upset, but strangers on the Internet cannot give you any specific advice of reassurance, not knowing your situation. You need to find out what the grounds for the removal are, if possible and if there is anything you can do, immediately, to make your home safe again. That may mean kicking your DP out, but we don't know that. And definitely find yourself some legal representation.

Original poster
user1491683745 · 08/04/2017 22:58

i have not had a bloody court hearing i dont understand where you are getting that from

OP posts:
corythatwas · 08/04/2017 22:59

The best thing you can do is to stay very calm and convince the authorities that you are willing to listen to them and to do anything in your power to help remove any concerns.

My dh and I have been suspected of abusing our dd (medical condition misdiagnosed). It was a difficult time but we got through it by staying focused. Try not to concentrate too much on your pain when talking to the authorities.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 08/04/2017 22:59

Also...reading between the lines - if your son is a bit lonely due to being bullied and losing his grandparent - do you think it could be possible that he might fabricate a story so that these strangers at childline will listen to him?

Obviously they have to take everything deadly seriously - but this could be a huge furore over nothing but loneliness.

Have they given you a number to call tomorrow or said they'd be in touch?

LovingLola · 08/04/2017 23:00

Did he make allegations against your dp? That is the only reason I can think of. (Apart from him making allegations against you).

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