Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Juan

juan its so bittersweet x

I agree red with lamb would be good. A glass of rioja or sauvignon to mellow away this weekend .... "one of my 5 a day" as my dear DH used to say

for Juan and chasing ((hugs)) .
I think the dreams are part of the longing and grieving , its going to be a slow process .
All celebration days are going to be tough, just know that tomorrow is another day, and hopefully a less sad one .
(def red with lamb, but I have a real soft spot for a nice dessert wine too.)
xxx

www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/apr/16/sheryl-sandberg-facebook-everyone-looked-at-me-like-a-ghost

My Sil has just linked me to this article about Sheryl Sandberg (FB exec) whose husband died suddenly. She's written a book about grief which the writer of the article (also a woman widowed suddenly) says is the best book on grief she's read.

Interestingly one of the things Sheryl says helped her a lot was writing three things in a notebook at the end of each day that have been good/nice. My friend who was widowed ten years ago dropped me in a notebook for that purpose a few days after Mark died. She said that despite spending £'a on therapy over the years it was the notebook/three things that had helped her the most.

Oh I meant to say - both my eyes are stinging but the left one looks fine. Right one looks as if someone's thumped me!

I try and keep a gratitude journal too. Hugs to you and hope you can hide away till the eye looks better or just go for sunglasses inside look

Evening. Hope all the lovely meals turned out well and were properly appreciated. Went for a nice walk with a couple of friends earlier - one of them told me she'd been feeling guilty about a text she sent me on the night Mark died. I'd texted her to say we were in hospital and I was scared, and she replied making mention of the vending machine and hoping I had change. She said that she's felt so bad ever since as if she was making light of the situation. I don't even remember her text and she has been nothing but supportive and caring since he died so I hope I made her feel a bit better.

Bertie is staying with Dd's future mil while Dd is in Dubai - here he is, looking more like a little ball than ever :)

Hugs to you. hope you have a good sleep tonight. DD nearly back home - bet it will be nice to have her back.

evening
we have had a lovely day thank you, Juan spent some time playing board games, a bit of a giggle.
Hope you get some rest tonight, and hugs to you xx

A good afternoon here too, good friends and good company. Then hard coming home alone. Boys back now and we've just watched The Last Kingdom.
That pup is beautiful.

Glad lots of you have had a lovely day. Mine's been a bit quiet. I've been a bit of a social hermit recently and decided not to go to a family Easter thing. Just stayed at home with DS3, who also didn't want to go.

The boys were delighted to get an Easter egg each, none of them was expecting one as they thought they might be too old .

Bertie is so cute. I have currently got my own springer curled up fast asleep next to me, upside down with all four legs in the air.

Have a good night all x

Evening everyone

Holidays and special so called family days are always going to be very tough. You just have to get through them any way you can. Glad you had friends and family to be with and support you.

We have had a pj day just chilling watching DVDs and tv. Been bucketing down half of the day here so no reason to go out.
Don't want Tues to come. Back to school mornings they stress me out no end. I think I am going to resort to water soaker with my teen to get him up there is no other solution 😀😀

Lol at water soaker - my mum used to say similar about my brother.
My 14yo has luckily not reached the lie in stage yet, although mum did say something the other day about him running to catch the bus and when I expressed surprise he said sometimes he does have to go quite quickly! But then, he is in his 3rd year at secondary and I've only had to drop him at school twice - and one of those times was in the first few weeks when he'd forgotten a school book and came home from the bus stop all tearful at having done so. I can see ds2 not being so good when he starts in September.
Night all

Good morning, the early brigade checking in.

Thinking of all. Wonder how Selena is getting on too.

I don't want to go back to reality either.

Selena is also posting on another thread started by Willowkins about coping when DH has cancer.

Morning
Juan - truly hope you managed some rest
hope everyone is okay
Thoughts and prayers - an easy day here, so can check in if you need a hand hold xx

Hello all. Very sad today - 7 weeks since Mark died. I don't want routine to resume either. Want to keep my dc close - mind you, they're always out anyway. We only have one pretty tree in our garden, a lilac tree. It's out now - Mark loved it.

My big three are ok in the mornings, dd2 in fact is one of those people who seems to need only four or five hours sleep. Ds3 is a bit of a bed hugger but not too bad yet. He's only in year 8 though so plenty of time for that to get worse! We live in walking distance of his school so I don't have a school run any more for which I'm profoundly thankful.

Thinking of you Juan

I love lilac - the smell is just wonderful - is it white or lilac? ( daft question )
At the moment you are in limbo, and its too much to consider being 'normal' . I don't suppose the transition is ever going to be easy .
But real life doesn't go away sadly. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh..
((hugs))

Everyone but me is a bed hugger here. Not that DDs live here any more. But I have always been a morning person. I am glad for a sit down in an afternoon.

My lilac lilac is out, as is my Mexican orange blossom.

The magnolia is in full bud here. The smell is very pungent today as it has rained on and off most of the day. Take care of yourself Juan xx

And you too squirrels xx

lilac lilac :) good description Chasing

My magnolia was just coming into bloom when John died and the flowers are long gone now.