In my shoes what would you do?

[Alittlelife]

In a relationship for 3.5 years. I've never been married before or had children. He was married and has 3 DC. Youngest is 8. I'm 36.

We get on so well, maybe 2 disagreements in the time we've been together. I'm happy, he's happy. We rent together but have the money to buy when we're ready. We've lived together for over a year and a half.

His ex is lovely, they get on well, we get on well, no issues with seeing the DC or maintenance. In fact she encourages me to come along to school things and angles for extra tickets for plays so I can come.

Here's the kicker. I want to be married. I would like a child of my own. DP knows this, we've discussed it quite a few times and he is supportive, understands I want a child and a marriage, but then nothing happens. I dont want to ask him, I know it's ridiculous but I would love the traditional wedding and engagement. He says it will happen. He doesn't like being pushed into things. And also I don't want to issue an ultimatum that he has to ask before x date. I don't want a forced engagement.

And now I have this fear creeping in that I'm getting older. What if it doesn't happen between us. Do I have time on my side to find someone else to love and marry and have a baby with. And the older his youngest gets the more I think he's not going to want to go through all the baby stuff again.

Thoughts, ramblings, any advice?

There is a very good chance this bloke has had the snip.

There is a very good chance this bloke has had the snip.

This. And his being the string along type, I wouldn't put it past him to agree TTC then only tell the truth when it comes time for testing and he has to be frank, which will come with tears and 'I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be upset.' At this time you will have wasted another year with him, OP.

Is there any update to this, OP?

What did you decide to do?

I hope things work out for you.

I also agree he is stringing you along, here are my reasons for thinking this:

1: He had an affair, cheated on his family life. I think because he doesn't really want to live in the family life and wants you as a girlfriend and his kids part time (easy life)
2: He said HE IS HAPPY THE WAY THINGS ARE - no thought about what you may want in life then? Selfish guy
3: He doesn't sound like he likes the family life OP, I think he will cheat when the going gets tough and things get a bit too boring for him. leaving you where exactly?

I would finish it, tell him he obviously wants different things to you and as much as you don't want to pressure him (which you wont) you want to be able to follow your own dreams and not live the life HE WANTS

'Is there any update to this, OP?'

Whenever they drop and run like this, it means they're still with the guy, giving him 'another chance' and the like, basically wasting more of their time.