What would you do, message from another woman?

[Emboo19]

I received a Facebook message early this morning 5am time, only just seen it when checking my emails though. From a girl, I don't know saying she was with my boyfriend last night after I left and went back to his place. No more details than that and just a sorry, didn't realise he had a girlfriend and baby.

My boyfriend was out for his birthday yesterday, I met up with him around 8pm and came home around 11.30. Him and his friends were going to a club. My friend came back with me and was staying over and I knew dd would be asleep in my room. He was already drunk so I said he should stay at his place. Did get a drunken text around 3am from him, which was a bit unusual for him.

I showed my friend and she said to message her for more details, see if it checks out. I'm more inclined to just ask my boyfriend when he gets here later. My friend thinks that's very naive of me.

No issues of cheating ever and I've had no reason to doubt him before. He was out with his brother, friends and some of their girlfriends. His brother and one friend I think would tell me if he did anything anyway.

What would others do? I feel like asking her or anyone else, is like not trusting him really and I'd probably be annoyed if it was the other way and he didn't just ask me.
But then if I just ask him, as my friend says, he has a chance to lie and cover his tracks. I really don't think he would though.

Yes she's blocked by both of us colourmylife my boyfriend put a picture on instagram before he blocked her though, being all soppy about me and dd. Not his usual style at all, but he said he wanted her to see it!

No offence taken ILostItIn I just meant he wasn't been horrible about me questioning him or anything. He's said he understands why I was suspicious with what she said. I'm just a bit cross with myself for not realising who it was!

Wow. Been reading this thread through the day. I have to just say I have so much respect for you OP. You seem so level headed and sensible and trusting and it sounds like you have a lovely relationship.

All that being said - I suspect those are the exact reasons why jealousy is eating up that cow from the inside. What a vindictive evil little bitch. How sad honestly!!

I am the worlds worst for thinking the worst of a situation and so many times on MN my paranoia is fed by all of these stories of terrible lying cheating men. And in the face of an actual real OW you managed to stay calm and it all turned out to be a mentalist - not a bad man. So, thanks. I feel slightly uplifted by this! And I'm glad it all worked itself out.

Enjoy your happy family.

I was going to say the same. Well done for being adult about a nasty childish message. What an eventful weekend, the last thing you need with a hangover!

So glad to hear nothing happened. It just shows there are nasty manipulative people out there who try to cause trouble for no reason than just spite.

You must be so relieved it's all over :)

Tell the nursery out of revenge!

lol had to giggle at that!!

Love people who equally like revenge!!

Karma will get her.

Emboo19
Yeah
I told ya so

Evil little cow, hope she gets whats due her pdq.
Hope she sees what your oh put up before blocking her, bet she is bloody raging, serves her right.

Cow

Shocking behaviour from her. Brilliantly handled by you!

Thank you all,
I am relived it's over and I think I knew deep down he hadn't done anything.
I think if anyone should be most annoyed it's my boyfriend, she kinda ruined his birthday weekend.

I'm not sure I exactly handled it well and I'm feeling pretty stupid to be honest.
She actually put on her first message, that it was after I'd left! Then claimed she didn't know of me! I even fucking typed it on here and didn't click.
My boyfriend read the messages last night and pointed it out!!

Anyway, she's not worth anymore of my time!!

You both sound lovely 😊😊

I love his message on instagram 😁

I'd still be posting the screen shots on Facebook. I'd want people to be warned what a nasty little bitch she is and if some of those people worked at the nursery or have kids there, all the better. I wouldn't want such a nasty, lying, devious bitch in a position of trust with babies/children. God alone knows what other lies she'd tell.

I actually think it's quite funny you didn't remember her, she was obviously still thinking about what had happened 'back then' and to know you didn't even remember her must have pissed her right off!! 🤣

Thanks Annie, I was tempted to!
A few friends know now and imagine word will get out. She's apparently been sleeping with one of the dads where she works, although it could be her making it up!

My bf was tempted to leave her on his insta to rub it in, but I'm not keen on her knowing what we get up to!

I think he probably needs to prepare what he will say or do when the daft bint turns up at a gig. I wouldn't put it past her.

I hope she gets outed if she is having sex with one of the Dads (if he's in a relationship, if not it wouldn't bother me). I wonder if anyone you know, knows him...it would be interesting to drop it into the conversation 'Did you hear about MadBint, she only went and told this girl she'd slept with her boyfriend this weekend'....

I really hate people getting away with doing nasty stuff

I can see how your BF would like to keep her on it so he can post photos of you together etc. But I totally see where you're coming from too, I'd hate feeling like she was 'watching'...or maybe I'd just mess with her head and post lots of cute couple & family shite 🤣

I don't do Facebook, so know less than nothing about it!, but have you got your privacy settings sorted so she can't see your Facebook page(s) by going through mutual friends?

From the rumours I've heard he's supposedly married, but as I know there's a good chance it's all in her head anyway!!!

I think he'd probably have a go at her if he sees her or she try's talking to him. He's not really like that normally either.

I'm not sure on security settings to be fair, mines pretty good but don't think his is. I rarely use fb, really just to keep in touch with family abroad.

Just make sure you screen shot everything and delete nothing because she has shown that clearly, she's a fucking loon.

My husband's "stalker" did something similar and tried to ruin our relationship despite not having seen my husband in almost a decade and a half and never meeting me at all. She barely knew my DH.
When she was called out on her crazy accusations she escalated. My husband's work even got a call asking if a Mr [Husband Name] worked there and when she was questioned as to why she wanted to know, she told them that she "Was the police and he had warrants out for his arrest"
He got called into the office to be asked why the hell they were getting weird calls like that.
She even made up new facebook profiles to pretend to be her own brother, sending messages to me, DH, DMIL and even our young daughter. We had to warn our children's school and nursery to be on alert for the bitch.

Apparently she was in court last Wednesday about it. I hope she pled guilty so we never have to meet the cow insane bitch.

She sounds horribly ThoushallNot really hope that's the end of it for you.

In my case, I do think she expected me to know who she was from that first message. I've heard from others today who said she tried talking to my bf that night, saying she was a friend of mine! He ignored her, I'd ignored her earlier and she ended up having a fall out with her friends.
I think she was just sad and lonely and probably just wanted a reaction from me or him, or just to be noticed.
I've kept a copy of the messages, but hopefully she will just stay away from us both now!

It's scary to think that somebody like this works with kids, and that the employers never find out.
I wouldn't have wanted any of my dc round her, she's a psycho.

So I was right ... : )
She was fed up, drunk and alone at 5am and just hit send ...

Just seen that Wingsofdesire yes you were! It's quite sad really.

I've had a round about apologie from her today, one of her friends to mine. Saying she feels bad and it was just a joke she took too far and she would have told me the truth.

I still can't help feeling annoyed that she made me question him though. We've always had a very good and open relationship in that respect, he goes away with friends and nights out etc and I've never questioned/doubted him and likewise he doesn't me.
Probably really stupid of me, but it feels like she's taken that away from us as a couple.

Don't feel like that, in all your posts you supported him. It was her that made you question things not each other.

I understand.

She made you go somewhere you'd never wanted to - she made you imagine what he might have been doing - really she made you see him being unfaithful in your mind's eye, and, like a bad dream, although you now know it isn't true, the feeling was so real that it still clings as a memory.

Just replace it with the truth. Imagine her evening. Think about where she was and what she did. Think about your guy, lovely, perfect, who's done nothing wrong, getting the pizza and wanting to come to you and being dragged into the taxi and passing out next to his bro (not before calling you first though) (when he was so out of it, all he could think of was you).

And now see her getting left behind and feeling cross and somehow getting home or to some room somewhere and looking at your pictures on FB - probably of you more than him, and then just thinking stuff them and writing that message. And then the thrill and, probably, slight horror of your answer back, believing her. Asking her. Letting her also have a few minutes or hours of possibly being the girl who slept with your guy.

Her life hasn't got any of that, so she made it up to just enjoy it a bit.

It was entirely wrong, and completely pathetic, in all senses of the word.

So you hug your guy close, snuggle up with him and your (plural) baby, and feel what is real.

Thanks, SeoritaViva and Wingsfdesire I know I'm being silly and emotional.
All being well we will be moving in together next week (or at least getting the house, we will want to decorate and stuff first) so I'm focusing on that! And finally getting to decorate a room for dd, so that's exciting!

A joke? Yeah right. She knows it wasn't, you know it wasn't, her friends know it wasn't. Stupid bitch.

She has taken that easy going trust that you had. She's made you question him. She's made you acknowledge that it's something that could happen. And I'm sorry, but IMO, once you've gone there mentally there's no going back. It was such a nasty, spiteful thing to do.

However, you know he didn't do it and you know he loves you and stood up for you. He was calm, thoughtful and understanding. It's maybe added depth to your relationship in some ways.

Focus on your future together which sounds lovely & exciting ❤️🏡👨‍👩‍👧