What would you do, message from another woman?

[Emboo19]

I received a Facebook message early this morning 5am time, only just seen it when checking my emails though. From a girl, I don't know saying she was with my boyfriend last night after I left and went back to his place. No more details than that and just a sorry, didn't realise he had a girlfriend and baby.

My boyfriend was out for his birthday yesterday, I met up with him around 8pm and came home around 11.30. Him and his friends were going to a club. My friend came back with me and was staying over and I knew dd would be asleep in my room. He was already drunk so I said he should stay at his place. Did get a drunken text around 3am from him, which was a bit unusual for him.

I showed my friend and she said to message her for more details, see if it checks out. I'm more inclined to just ask my boyfriend when he gets here later. My friend thinks that's very naive of me.

No issues of cheating ever and I've had no reason to doubt him before. He was out with his brother, friends and some of their girlfriends. His brother and one friend I think would tell me if he did anything anyway.

What would others do? I feel like asking her or anyone else, is like not trusting him really and I'd probably be annoyed if it was the other way and he didn't just ask me.
But then if I just ask him, as my friend says, he has a chance to lie and cover his tracks. I really don't think he would though.

Have you actually seen evidence of him in the pizza place not just his mates?

I'm with your dp.
For some reason she's trouble making.
Ignore and try and move past it.

feline yes, emboo has seen photos and video of him in the pizza shop.

FWIW, I believe your OH. We assume people are the same as us and unfortunately they're not and it isn't unheard of for someone to go to those lengths to try and split someone up.

I would however message her back, telling her that you have got indisputable evidence that he was elsewhere when she said he was with her and either she has got the wrong man or need help for her issues.

Yes I think it's clear she's lying. What a nasty thing to do.

This is one of those situations where it really it he said she said.

I would have to somehow get to the bottom of it
Personally I would message her odd he's phone and say "WTF happened last night" and see her reply.
I'd be inclined to believe your DP but I would just have to find absolute truth to move forward.

Messaging her from the dp's account would just fan the flames. She needs a stiff ignoring.

Ok, bear with me...

If she has an iPhone she can give you concrete proof she was at his house.

Ask her if she has an iPhone.

If she says yes then ask her to go into her settings - privacy - location services - system services - frequent locations and screen cap it to show her phone was at his location between those times.

If she says she can't provide this I call bullshit. If she has an iPhone she can use the GPS to prove she was there.

I could be wrong here... but I think that you can even get past locations from Facebook, find my iPhone and loads of other places.

I would be careful in how you share this with your DP too. If he is innocent he isn't going to appreciate your lack of trust. Don't let this cause too many issues if he is innocent, that could possibly be what this girl wants. You don't want this to lead to mistrust between you, you sound very grounded and sensible.

What phone does he have?

I am normally quite a skeptical person and heard so many cheating stories that I'm usually loathed to believe the person suspected is innocent! However, the timelines just don't add up. The fact she has followed your dp on instagram, liked photos etc and then claimed she wasn't aware of you or your dad (despite commenting aw cute on her photo!) makes me think she's been admiring your dp from a distance - most likely following him because he's in a band.
Also the claim she knows his full address - well if she travelled in a taxi with him (drunk and in dark) I think it's more likely she wouldn't remember/know his full address especially the house number. It's more likely she's done her research already.
The fact she can't describe his house in any detail what so ever (other than a guitar laying around!) is suspicious - surely she would remember some of the layout, furnishings etc.
As it was proven she was out that night - it is likely she overheard your dp and his brother talking about going back to his.
It's a bit weird she messaged you at 5am - if her claims were true it's a bit bizarre she'd message you immediately after the event.
I'm not sure a whole group of blokes would collaborate together to cover-up him taking a random woman back to his - fake photos/videos and then concoct false story to your face.
Have a chat with his brother and ask for the truth.
I hope you manage to get peace of mind. Either way it's not a nice thing to be faced with!
X

*dd not dad!

I'm with Desertsky here

I don't believe her at all.

I reckon she fancies him and because she's liked a load of his stuff on FB she reckons he should know her but then when they were in the same club with her trying to get his attention he's blanked her and she's feeling very hurt so she though she would teach him a lesson.

Op, I believe your DP.

When I asked my ex about a girl, yes he acted completely confused as to what I was on about, acted stupid & kick off except in that situation he wouldn't let me see his phone!

Other instances when he was telling the truth, he showed me his phone, all messages & nothing deleted.

So I think you can just chill and accept he isn't a compulsive liar!

I think she's lying too! Her story doesn't add up. Let us know what his brother says.

I think it sounds like she is lying.
Could she be jealous
I wouldn't message her again as it will only make her think you are worried

I think it sounds like she is lying.
Could she be jealous
I wouldn't message her again as it will only make her think you are worried

I've spoken to his brother and am feeling a bit embarrassed
Everything my bf and his brother have said checks out, his brother had more photos and videos on his phone, and other than my boyfriend oversharing some details I'd rather he didn't, they all show he was where he said he'd been.
He also has the text for the taxis he booked, messages to my bf house mate, checking he was already home as my boyfriend didn't have his keys, which I'd forgotten were in my handbag!!!

Showed his brother the messages and the girl in question and its me she knows, she actually went to school with us. She was in the year above.
He saw her and her friends in the last bar I was in and was chatting to them, one apparently said hi to me.
Then he saw them in the club, he doesn't remember her speaking to my bf though, but she could have done.
There's also a small chance she doesn't like me very much.

In my defence, I had a baby only 5 months ago!!!!

unlikely he tell the truth and not lie for his brother, but I really don't think he'd lie if I ask him outright. Plus he's really bad at lying so I think I'd be able to tell!!

Oh OP. He's his brother. Of course he will lie to you. Doesn't matter how long you've been friends, got good your friendship is, he will always choose to help his brother over you. To think otherwise is quite naive. Regardless of this situation, his loyalty is with his brother not you. You need to stop thinking he'd tell you anything. Doesn't matter whether they're not overly close, he isn't gunna tell you the truth if it was to cause a massive family rift is he

In that case I'd be really tempted to message her now with a wtf?

Maybe I am naive sparkling but I'm not sure him being his brother, means he do something or go along with something he doesn't agree with. Anyway, I believe he's told me the truth, there's plenty of evidence supporting what they both say and none to support what she said.
My boyfriend didn't even have a key to get into his house!

I have messaged her LoveDeath just put, I've only just realised who your are!
I've seen evidence my boyfriend was with his brother and friends all night. I'm not sure why you're trying to cause trouble, we aren't in high school anymore.
Grow up!
Emboo

If a bloke messaged my husband saying I'd slept with him I'd be furious. I'd enter go round or phone but I'd confront him. Your boyfriends lack of reaction is worrying. It's a serious allegation. Has he blocked her from social media? Does he not want to ask her why she's saying this?

I agree with sparkling that friends and family will cover for them. My ex h cheated and his entire family lied about it including ex mil. Ow told me.

I'm pleased you've messaged her, what a little bitch she is. He didn't even have his key to get in so she can fuck off lying. That would mean someone would have had to let them in and therefore would have seen them.