What would you do, message from another woman?

[Emboo19]

I received a Facebook message early this morning 5am time, only just seen it when checking my emails though. From a girl, I don't know saying she was with my boyfriend last night after I left and went back to his place. No more details than that and just a sorry, didn't realise he had a girlfriend and baby.

My boyfriend was out for his birthday yesterday, I met up with him around 8pm and came home around 11.30. Him and his friends were going to a club. My friend came back with me and was staying over and I knew dd would be asleep in my room. He was already drunk so I said he should stay at his place. Did get a drunken text around 3am from him, which was a bit unusual for him.

I showed my friend and she said to message her for more details, see if it checks out. I'm more inclined to just ask my boyfriend when he gets here later. My friend thinks that's very naive of me.

No issues of cheating ever and I've had no reason to doubt him before. He was out with his brother, friends and some of their girlfriends. His brother and one friend I think would tell me if he did anything anyway.

What would others do? I feel like asking her or anyone else, is like not trusting him really and I'd probably be annoyed if it was the other way and he didn't just ask me.
But then if I just ask him, as my friend says, he has a chance to lie and cover his tracks. I really don't think he would though.

No calls from this morning or late last night in his call log, but other calls are there. I know he could have just deleted the calls he wouldn't want me to see though, but not sure he'd think of that!

I really don't think his brother would lie for him!! Unless I'm a completely bad judge of character.

Message her on facebook from his phone then take it from there

I really don't think he did anything. He doesn't sound capable. At the very worst a drunken kiss and he put a stop to it when he realised what he was doing.

Get him to message her to see what she's playing at.

I believe him. I know a few women who would do something like thay if a guy rejected them, or they wanted to split up a couple and swoop in on him.

Ask her how she got home if she says taxi ask to see the text if your area sends it as confirmation like our area does. Also if she didn't get a text ask her where she went so you can call the cab company. Ask them for confirmation.

I bear the scars, so I'm not 'naturally' trusting anymore. However, he seems to be on the level, he didn't seem shifty, no one else did when you picked him up...I'd believe him. I'd ask him to send her a message telling her to fuck off & delete her from his FB. No one needs that kind of crap.

IF he did have sex with her, he will feel he 'got away with it' and will likely trip himself up sooner rather than later. Worry about it if it happens. Too much worrying now will drive a wedge between you, seemingly what she wanted.

Still think she's making it up to split you up.

Did you say he was in a band? Maybe she's one of those nutcase groupies...

Certainly sounds like it..

I was thinking the same Sanitys, especially if in a band. Sends some women nuts. She sounds awful

He needs to challenge her in front of you!

I think he's telling the truth too.. I thought the woman sounded like she was trying to cause drama but he handed over his phone and he really wouldn't have if there was a scrap of anything on there.

I think I'd message her from his FB. See what she says.

Didn't want to read and run OP, hope everything works out. I agree with scrumptious - maybe message her via his fb

I knew it was a bit funny how she'd claimed she didn't know you existed, obviously did from facebook insta etc, then changed it to say he'd said you'd broken up. Hopefully this is the end of it.

If she has made it all up, I know it'd be the right thing to 'take the high road' and feel pity for her... However, I'd be so angry that she actually avidly wanted to destroy my relationship; I'd want to rip her head/hair extensions out!

Sounds to me like she's just being spiteful. Isn't your bf confused/angry/curious as to why someone is shit stirring though?

I wouldn't engage with her any further. Sounds like she wants the attention so you'd be playing right into her hands

I'm with Charlie

He may not have cheated but I think he knows more about her then he's letting on. If someone had told my partner I'd cheated when I hadn't I'd be furious and want to contact them and ask why and to leave us alone. Has he mentioned if he wants to contact her?

Yes he's annoyed bounce and trying to think if he's spoke to her or anything. He's mostly worrying I don't believe him though and asking what he can do.

I've said for us just to leave it for tonight, I think even if he messages her, she'll know he's with me and I'll be reading it. What ever she says will be his word against hers.

He said I can keep his phone so I'll know he's not messaged anyone. I'll see his brother tomorrow so I can ask him face to face.

Now that you've mentioned your bf is in a band I completely 100% believe his version of events, and that she's just a groupie type who wants to get his attention and is jealous of you.

Him being in a band makes it entirely plausible that she can be on his FB and leaving comments on his insta but he hasn't a clue who she is. My DH is a footballer (not in the UK though) and the amount of random desperate girls who try to get to him via social media - and the lengths they will go to as well - is actually quite disturbing! I've had some of them stalking my profile too; the level of creepiness and the lack of shame they have when it comes to a guy who's a sportsman/musician/someone mildly 'famous' is quite extraordinary.

Bless you - what an up and down day you must have had! I bet you had that horrible sinking feeling in your stomach but hopefully it vanished immediately when he put your fears at rest. Just make sure you both block the psycho, and get on with enjoying the rest of your weekend

For what it's worth OP this happened to a friend of mine, some random girl messaged her on FB and claimed to have slept with her DH the night before. There wasn't an ounce of truth to it as she knew exactly where her DH was - in bed with her at their house. To this day she has no idea why this happened but she outed the woman on FB and showed screenshots of the texts - turned out she'd done similar before. Not saying this is the same but some people just seem to like to cause trouble for other people

He did mention it Forget he doesn't have her number though, so it would be through fb message. I've said to wait on that though, thinking maybe if it's true, she'd send him a message but later when she thinks I'd be done checking.

JK1773 I totally agree with you!
OP, you obviously trust your DP if I were you I would just block her on fb or get him too and move on.. she honestly sound like she made it up out of spite

I buy his version too. And for those who have mentioned his drinking, give over!

Sounds like a desperate jealous groupie.