He's just disappeared. What the fuck?

[Deeperthanathousandcuts]

Divorced but was due to remarry this year. Madly in love with fiance, bought a house together in London and were planning our future together. Kids are staying with their dad this week (thank God!), I come home from Zurich after a shitty business trip and his stuff is gone. Every single thing he possessed. Tried to call him but goes straight to answerphone, tried to whatsapp him but my messages aren't being delivered. Frantically tried to contact him on all social media outlets but he's unfriended me?

The relationship was fantastic, we are financially secure, great sex life and lots of laughs, we'd only recentl returned from a winter vacation in Bali and had the best time. Only thing the fucker didn't take me off is snap chat and There was a snap on his story and in the background it looked like a woman's shoes.

No idea where he is, my kids are going to be devastated. He works away a lot so I don't even know where he is right now.

Lost and not sure what to do next

Wanna all your posts seem to be saying that the OP is not genuine. Is this intentional ? It's not helpful, anyway. Stop trawling her previous posts and history and trying to build a 'case' around this thread.

Sounds like one of those stories you read about where the man who works away a lot is actually married and 'works away' at his wife's house. Perhaps she found out and called him on it.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but if this is what he's like then you're probably better off without him. Not much help with the way you feel at the moment though .

Similar happened to me op except i was pregnant rather than having bought a house. It's the trauma of a break up with an added cruelty of not knowing why the fuck it happened. Turned out in my case he was already married.

I'm so sorry love, you're going to rocket between a million different emotions a minute.

You'll come out the other side eventually. And you'll be a stronger person.

Agree with pp who say to concentrate on securing finances and house as a priority. My husband left me suddenly 4 yrs ago my best friend found me sobbing on the kitchen floor she told me I could break down once id protected myself and my children (financially) it was harsh but she was right. Speak to a solicitor and your bank asap, try not to get caught up in the where's and the why's at the moment, in my experience these things tend to unravel in time.
Once you have these practical issues resolved let yourself grieve for the man you thought you had, get as much rl support and hold your head high.
Always remember he's shown his own lack of character, his actions are no reflection of you. It's utterly shit that people act this way but for you it'll be a hard time to pass through and come out stronger and happier he however is stuck with himself!

No, but OP has stated that they had a fantastic relationship, he wanted her to change roles to get more family time as he has a good job which gives him a good work life balance whereas she has a job with a lot of hours although well paid.

So from OP's previous posts, compared to this one where she says that he works away a lot of the time and she doesn't even know where he is, it appears that the relationship wasn't actually as fantastic as OP had been telling herself it was.

If she'd gone away to Zurich and didn't even know what her live-in fiance's plans for the week were wrt being away with work that to me would suggest a significant lack in communication in their relationship.

That doesn't justify his just walking out, of course it doesn't. But the previous posts are relevant here wrt the fact that the relationship wasn't as fantastic as she had thought it was, and it's possible he will use that against her if he ever comes back.

I've made contact with his immediate family, sisters and his children from a previous marriage but as they are in Melbourne with a significant time difference I've not heard from them. At least I know he's not dead from the photo. I'm financially sound but he will probably want his cut of our house which will be costly for. I don't have expertise in family law but my sister does so I'll check what happens next regarding the house. Now I have to tell my family and friends. Oh deep joy.

I can't see how it's another woman as there were zero signs and I am quite intuitive. Perhaps I am wrong though. Decided I'll visit his work, he may be on call but I'll risk it. I deserve to know what's happening

Wannabe thanks for the dose of reality during my life melting down much appreciated. I came here for support not a battering.

It's not because the OP is a lawyer that she doesn't advise though.
First of all her area of knowledge might be as far from marriage issues as it can be.
But also, in times like this, it's very hard to think straight and do what your professional head is telling you. Sometimes you still need someone to point out the obvious!!

I am so sorry this is happening to you. No advice to offer, just .

I am so sorry this is happening to you. No advice to offer, just .

It's not because the OP is a lawyer that she doesn't advise though.

Yup. I'm a lawyer. I know how to put mortgages on airplanes. Not a clue about relationship breakdown.

XpostHappy to see you are here OP.
I have to say I would go to his work and ask about him. After all, you will oils only do the very thing that a concerned fiancée would do: trying to see how the person you are living with is doing!
If this puts him in a hard situation, well, he looked for it.
And yes you deserve some answers but I wouldn't expect them iyswim. If he was so coward to just leave and take everything away wo talking to you, he is unlikely to start speaking now TBH :(

Wanna I thought it was forum etiquette not to search user history and then use it as 'evidence' to make a point?

Well done for total lack of empathy and support.

It wasn't intended as a battering though. The reality here is that he is none of the things you thought he was, and he has fed you a lie for who knows how long. Someone doesn't just get up one morning, pack up and walk out without a backward glance. He has likely been planning this. Given he's from Melbourne I would in fact be questioning whether he is in fact who he says he is, or whether he potentially has form for this kind of thing.

it's a lot easier to hide a shady past if you move to another country....

MrDacresEUSubsidy "OK - practicalities first:Change the locks on the house."

Doesn't he part own the house though?

OP what a terrible, horrible shock! I hope he's not emptied your bank account too.
You will be better off without him, though it won't feel like that now. He clearly doesn't deserve you and you have so much to offer.
Hugs to you and your DCs.

Mynest: he can ring the door bell. He has taken all his stuff and absconded. He can negotiate his house ownership without a key.

I would still be incredibly suspicious that he might be living under a false identity. Because to take out a mortgage on a house and then just walk away from that is extreme. On the plus side, if he isn't actually who he says he is it will be a lot easier for the OP to sell the house than if he's just decided to walk away

What an absolute piece of shit. He should be ashamed. Sending you good thoughts OP.

WannaBe, have you ever bought a house?
If so, you would be aware of the amount of documentation you need to provide to both the conveyancing solicitors and the mortgage company to establish identity and to prevent money laundering

I'm not really sure what you are hoping to achieve with your contributions on this thread but OP has already said you're not helping

I'm so sorry. Nothing anyone can say at the moment will help but I just wanted to say sorry that you're having to go through this x

Doesn't he part own the house though?

He does - I assume. But as others have said, he can contact the OP if he has an issue when he turns up and tries his key in the door only to find it doesn't work. The OP is now on her own with kids in the house, not knowing where her partner has fucked off to and where his keys may have ended up - not to mention who might have a copy of them.

OP can demonstrate that she has tried to contact her partner, but if he's decided to behave like a dick and ghost her, then he can hardly complain if she changes the locks, can he?

I really hope you can confront him and get some answers but unfortunately, I think he'll just feed a load of bullshit.
He will re-write history - they all do so pay no attention to that.
for you.

Jesus OP, it must be a total body blow. I haven't AS, but think I recognise you from another thread. Do you have a nanny? Was she around during the week that your dp cleared out?
I'm not suggesting anything amiss between them, but if she was told/ saw anything.