Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

OH GOD! Contacted OW!

125 replies

BitterHarvest · 14/03/2017 08:21

OH God! It seemed like a good idea after a lonely glass of wine last night. Now I'm regretting this.

My OH had a sex texting thing from some woman on the internet 4 years ago. I found out we worked through it. But I am not ashamed to say I have made him work for forgiveness and I'm not entirely sure I trust him now.

He recently changed his phone to a new network etc and gave me his old one. I just kept it as was and kept his number.

Got a text yesterday at Lunchtime.

"Hey sexty! Haven't heard from you an a looooooooong while. What you at 2day?"

I have had this phone since Christmas and this is the first message I have got. At the time I found out about her I found out she has. Boyfriend where he works and who her family are (open Facebook profile)

So last night in reply I sent a message saying Who I was and that I'd forwarded her message screen shot to her Boyfriend and her family..........I didn't, but I wanted to make her shake the way I did when inreceived her message.

Now I feel shit. I always felt I maintained a high ground when I wasn't even acknowledging her and in truth I'd forgotten about her. Do I need to tell OH what I did? I do don't I? 😒

Feel a bit crap today for doing that.

OP posts:
123MothergotafleA · 14/03/2017 08:25

Alls fair in love and war!!
Just forget about it, it's no biggie!

Boredbeforeievenbegan · 14/03/2017 08:27

I don't blame you, she deserves to be on the receiving end of that gut wrenching feeling, but yeah, better tell your oh.

WellErrr · 14/03/2017 08:29

I wouldn't believe she's waited 4 years to text him.

PollytheDolly · 14/03/2017 08:29

No, don't tell him.

She shouldn't have texted, should she.

RockyBird · 14/03/2017 08:31

It's done now, don't panic. You maybe regret sending it but you're not the one in the wrong.

All the best to you.

Imaginesthat · 14/03/2017 08:35

Hmm I don't think that's the first message in four years maybe a few months

Meowstro · 14/03/2017 08:35

So she's text him after 4 years without contact? Hmm

Don't worry about your text, she's in the wrong. Why do you need to tell your OH?

HecateAntaia · 14/03/2017 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oscha · 14/03/2017 08:35

Do you believe she hasn't texted him in the four years between you finding out and you getting the phone?

Littleballerina · 14/03/2017 08:38

It's not been 4 years op.
I'd tell him that he had a text.

KarmaNoMore · 14/03/2017 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadMags · 14/03/2017 08:39

Well there's no way it's been four years is there?

I think that should be your priority, tbh.

DisgruntledGoat · 14/03/2017 08:53

She probably deserves some bad karma. Don't be too hard on yourself though, we all do silly things once in a while. It might give her a bit of a wake up call about her behaviour. Why would she suddenly start texting though after four years? Seems odd tbh

CookieLady · 14/03/2017 08:56

No way has she contacted him after four years. Don't say anything to him. Just watch and wait.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 14/03/2017 08:57

Let's be real here, he never cut contact with her. The chances of her texting after 4 years of nothing, just a couple of months after you have his phone are slim to absolutely none.

gamerchick · 14/03/2017 09:01

Meh she text first you didn't seek her out from what you've said.

I wouldn't say anything to anyone. Let her stew.

Thinkingblonde · 14/03/2017 09:03

Why is her number still on his phone? Why didn't he delete it four years ago? These are the questions I'd be asking him.

LookAtTheFlowersKerry · 14/03/2017 09:03

She's done what I often do which is save his new number without deleting the old one. Sheer laziness. But it does mean I sometimes text the wrong one.

I highly doubt that's the first contact in FOUR YEARS.

roundandround4x4 · 14/03/2017 09:03

Don't be hard on yourself. It' just a normal reaction, hopefully she is experiencing that gut wrenching feeling for getting in touch. I would also disagree with the posters who say it hasn't been four years. He wouldn't have given you his phone and not tell her if they were still in touch.

shovetheholly · 14/03/2017 09:03

I don't think it sounds like they haven't had contact for 4 years either. Sad So sorry you're going through this, it's awful living with suspicion.

LookAtTheFlowersKerry · 14/03/2017 09:03

Was it definitely the same woman? Did you keep her number on your phone?

pho3be · 14/03/2017 09:04

No don't tell him, wait & see if he finds out. 💪

Finola1step · 14/03/2017 09:07

I think your panic about replying has muddied the waters here. The key question really is "Do you believe that it is 4 years since their last contact?" If yes, forget all about it. Block her number and carry on as you were.

If no, then you have a much bigger issue on your hands.

hmcAsWas · 14/03/2017 09:07

I sometimes get messages via messenger (can by 18 months apart or more) from an ex-fiancée from 22 years ago and I either reply politely and neutrally or not at all (sheesh, what can I say - he clearly never got over me Wink ) ......my point being that whilst it is unlikely that she has sent a text to your dh out of the blue after four years of no contact, it isn't impossible

InfiniteSheldon · 14/03/2017 09:07

Well done and stop feeling guilty you've done nothing wrong

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.