Ex H is dating a 17 year old and our eldest is 16.

[user1489096597]

I'm really not keen on this. Our eldest child is 16 and obviously she's only a year older. Eldest thinks it's not right and isn't particularly keen on seeing her dad while he is seeing her but our youngest is 5 and I obviously make that decision. I don't know if it's enough to not be keen on him seeing his dad anymore?

I think you should talk to him & support your dd.
It is awful and i think it does reflect on his ability to parent if he thinks that it's appropriate to have a relationship with a child the same age as his dd.

With regards to your ds; i think you should discuss with exh how confusing it would be for to see his dad having an adult relationship with a contemporary of his sister.

I think the main problem is with the incredible damage this must do to the 16 yo DD's sense of having a parent, sense of what she may mean to her father, sense of what her friends potentially represent to her own father.

I agree with that but you can't cure selfish twattery.

I'd also seek legal advice re visiting. If he isn't a direct threat to your 5yo you can't refuse I don't think.

44

good grief

Not against age gaps generally but that takes the

I think it's still bad KungFu it's not the age gap, as long as it's two adults I don't care about age difference. But being the same age as her son, I think it's gross!
My mums only 37 and if she was dating someone my age or similar it would effect my relationship with her same as if my dad was to do it!
Luckily both my parents agree! I asked my dad and he said 'can you imagine, talking about childhood and stuff and the person he's having sex with us saying, I liked xxx and watched xxx and he's like, yes my daughter used to love that too' just weird!!!