Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

Welcome Jenny well done on making the first step. Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time of it, but we’re all here for you. You sound so determined keep checking in when you need someone, someone is usually kicking about

dementedma I've pm'ed you, thank you!

I've just re-read all your posts you are all such a lovely bunch, thank you! I'll reply in more detail, sorry for not nominating anybody, I'm on my phone and hard to see user names on the other pages.

The point of doing too much for him, I agree, I think it got to the point last week when we've enabled him by doing it all and he continued drinking thinking all is taken care of.

On this basis I went to see him tonight to tell him I'm out, I don't want to hear from him until he's done something about his alcohol abuse problem.

I found him asleep and (god I feel like crying) he was like a baby when I woke him up. He agreed with everything I said, he then asked for help. He said he can't do it alone, he's embarrassed but can't do it. He's scared he'll lose his job (took this week off).

So we decided we'll go to the alcohol clinic tomorrow together and then I'll take him to live with me for a bit to literally watch him and give him company to take his mind of it.

I am not holding my breath but wish me luck please and I hope to come back and share a successful story.

I hope you don't mind if I hang around from time to time, at least you guys understand how hard it is.

Good luck with your challenge all, you can do it!

Fleur what a lovely sister you are.
All the best for the clinic visit.

I know one of my weaknesses/ risk factors is having wine in the house. That seems so obvious but my dh is not AF and if there is a wine at home that I find drinkable I find it impossible not to have some if I'm feeling tempted. I would not go out and buy it (I don't think so anyway) but when there, unless I'm feeling super strong, I can't resist. I have mentioned this to him but he is a bit dismissive about it. He bought be some AF beer, which I do like, especially with a curry, but as the wine I like was also there I ended up having 2 glasses of that. Which led to a couple of vodkas. Oh my, oh my. I think I am actually addicted. Although I am pathetically impresses that I didn't open a second bottle of wine.
Anyway, today will be AF for me.

Good luck Fleur you sound a wonderful sister and of course pop in here whenever you like, some posts may just give you an insight into how your brother feels and that might offer you strategies if that makes sense.

One thing I will say, on the basis that we all agree that he has to want to do this for himself, please look after you I understand you wanting to help him, of course you do but don't ruin your own life in the process, it may be to much for you to cope with and that's not failure if it is.
On the other hand this may be the wake-up call he needs and he may decide to seize this chance.
I would try to keep him busy, and let him talk.
Also, perhaps you could talk to Al-Anon or similar to talk to others in the same boat.

Good morning everyone else, good luck being AF today Pure it is hard with wine in the house isn't it? Does your dh drink Vodka? If not could you pour it away?
During January I had to distract myself loads when my dh opened the wine, I'd take myself away for a shower or go upstairs and read. Much easier now the cravings are subsiding all these weeks on.

Hope everybody has a good day.

Fleur I will get back to you on your pm as soon as poss.
The babes on here have been brilliant at supporting me with my brother and many of them have followed Richard's story and been there cheering him on.
Thank fuck it's Friday. It's been a long week. Two early starts for business breakfasts, and two late finishes, didn't get in last night until 11. Am knackered. Off to see a veteran this morning then taking the rest of the day off.

Thanks Luxurywoman It's so encouraging to hear that your cravings subside.
Yes, DH drinks vodka.
All I have to do is abstain from the wine and then everything else falls into place.

Ok, so from next week I promise I will be less Elf-absorbed (see what I did there?!) and will start NC-ing properly and being more inclusive in my posts. It's just been a huge month or so for me, with the lead-up to medical detox and now learning to live life sober "ODAAT" etc. So I've been putting myself very much first - which isn't usual for me - and probably comes across badly - but was v necessary.

I'm just going to say, quietly, 22 days today . I really cannot believe that. 28 years of hazardous drinking... loads of attempts to quit... gradually losing hope and really sliding into despair...

Not complacent. I know I need to work at this and it's very very early days. But today I am proud of myself, and wanted to say so .

Morning all, 'tis me, Mouse.

Sorry for not naming everyone but I'm still catching up with who is who and life in general.

I thought I'd bring the breakfast trolley round - freshly squeezed juices, brewed coffees and a wide selection of teas. Plus, bacon, sausage and eggs etc for those who want something cooked and fruit and continental for those who don't.

Happy Friday Babes xxx

Elf - You don't come across as selfish to me, and besides, I like to call it Elfpreservation!

Sometimes you just have to hide a little to sort yoursELF out and evaluate what's truly valuable in YOUR life.

The Bus is always stopping where a Babe is waving or it's certainly slowing down when it spots a lurker!

Pure - vodka used to be my weapon of choice. Oh it's so easy to drink over ice cold juices, with crushed ice. Awesome. I'm ashamed to say that I could easily nail half a litre in an evening

I always find it harder to abstain when my DH drinks and when we're out too (which isn't often!)

If I don't start, I won't drink but one quite often is not enough

Hello Mouse hope you are ok today? I'll have a sausage sarnie if I may?

Elf you are fantastic, you just post whatever you want m'dear. you should be extremely proud of yourself indeed
Hope you are beginning to feel benefits? As you say it's early days but onwards and upwards.

Elf, you are so right to be proud of yourself, that's a massive achievement :)
Mouse, great to see you back on thread xx
Morning Lux and all other babes :)

Morning Obrigada hope you're well today?

I must get on now, take care everyone!

About bloody time the breakfast trolley made an appearance! Are there any Danish pastries?

Afternoon to all babes.

I have read the whole thread so hello to you ALL.

Day 9/10 here and feeling very well on it. I did have two glasses of prossecco with my friend from Australia the other night (as it was a once every 4/5 years special occasion) but won't have another drink until Easter Sunday.

Good luck for Friday everyone !

fleur have pm'd you

Feeling virtuous as have been for a swim. Dear God I'm unfit. I managed 20 lengths with a lot of stopping and thinking I might die!

Evening Babes
I have followed this bus for a while. Been on Mumsnet since 2005 but name changing if thats ok.

I am a fully functioning evening drinker of wine. Husband, kids, pets and high flying job. Never miss work. Just drink wine when I get in as stress relief (I know its not)

I really want to stop as I know I drink far too much. Definitely a bottle a night, weekends 2. I even hide bottles so I can have a little top up if sharing with DH. He knows - he regularly finds my hidden empties and just leaves them out so that I know he knows.

I just dont know what to do.

I dont feel I can talk to my GP as dont want it on record. However she has been treating me for Anxiety last 10 years and I know the drink isnt helping.

thats it

oh and reckon I'm upto 140 units per week

welcome change. your story is a familiar one to many of us on here.
Well done on making the first post. I'm sure the Babes will be along later to chat. What are your plans for tonight?
if you have a bottle in, try drinking a pint of water first and emptying out a glass worth of the wine.
Even if you drink the rest of the bottle, its a glass less than normal and that's how we begin. Baby steps. Even a mouthful less is a result.

I don't know what to do.
I've tried reading books but deliberately don't get to the end in case I have to stop. That sounds awful.

My anxiety is worse as I worry every morning I'm killing myself.

Can I just give up or will that make me feel worse?
I cant even go to AA as it's held in my church

Ive already started on the wine so tonight is a waste....just trying to get my head round it and think saying it out loud (albeit on line) is the first step.

It IS the first step time and you are welcome here.
I took the same step late last year and thanks in no small part to the support here, although I drink, it's far far less.
Hope everyone's okay.
Playing with DC then doing bedtime but back later.

Hope you've had an easier day ma

Hello TimeToChange - I'm not an expert but I wonder if the amount of units you consume regularly is so high that you need to go through a managed withdrawal?

Have you tried to give up before? How did it go?

I'd suggest the best first step you could take would be to talk to your dh about it all. He knows, so talk to him.

He buys the wine. Come home today and he's bought 3 bottles
I know he's doing it so I dont get stressy about no wine.
Isnt that awful

I cant face telling my dr to get the managed withdrawal

However I do feel that actually posting has to be step 1. Just need to process what to do next