elle, ah now. Most of us have felt the despair, the shame, the regret, the anger, but look at that fabulous last sentence.
You have two lovely bairns. That's a great positive right there.
Start off wee, don't set yourself an unrealistic target. Half an hour will do to start with, then build from there. If you must have a drink, give your teeth a brush, tastes bogging after that. If that doesn't put you off, make it a spritzer and have a non alcoholic something after. I like Fentimans or Fever Tree drinks.
Stick a face mask on, its hard to drink when you're clarted in clay. Busy your hands, I post all manner of bibble just to keep typing. I knit dishcloths because I can't turn corners to knit socks. Paint your nails. File your feet.
You can do this, you don't have to worry about managing it all of the time. For now, a little triumph is good. And a good thing to build on.
Most of us have the odd slip, but we pick ourselves up and crack on again. We do the best we can, one day at a time.
venus posted a corker of a post a couple of pages back, page 31 I think, have a wee read, xx