Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

I think it's brilliant you are taking this step.
I think most of us did feel unpleasant in some ways intitally if it was heavy drinking, I know I did but I can assure you that almost all that anxiety I had, sluggish mornings, cringe moments, fuzzy head, etc has gone. I look a million times better in 40 days, in fact after 2 weeks I looked and felt better than I had in years.
A drinking app helped me, with the cost, the dangers and the progress - it's nice to have something that is showing you your progress.

The idea of going to things sober is worse than actually doing it, so don't think so far ahead it needs to be one day at a time. So every day can be a new day with its own challenges to overcome instead of thinking about 'forever'.
I have no idea about forever or drinking again, but I am ok for now.
AF beers and other drinks can make you feel more socially acceptable too

Morning lovely babes!!

Can't nc everyone but hope everyone's well and welcome to new babes!!

I'm on day 3 today. If I can make it through today I'll be happy. That'll be 3 days where I've worked so hard on the new house that I've gone to bed at 8,30/9

I've worked out if I fully exhaust myself I can totally do this. I'm running out of things to so tomorrow I might struggle but I'm away to get high off bleach fumes again. Hopefully I'll get my ability to taste back over the weekend. Move day on Saturday and I can't wait to be in

Day 1 here. WIsh me luck!

Morning all

welcome Broken yours is a familiar tale, perhaps you are my internet twin I completely relate to everything you have written. The conflict of knowing you want and need to stop, and yet...

You ask 'where do I start?' Well, it's different for everybody, but for me I started just like you - facing up to the issue, it's a big, big step.
I started to visualise myself as a different kind of woman and that included thinking about and looking for other women to admire (non-drinkers) and realising they had perfectly fulfilling lives without drinking oceans of wine.
For me (and maybe only me) this helped changed my mindset as did constantly posting here which helped bolster my thoughts.
Making sure I had treats to look forward to, good coffee, excellent chocolate and sophisticated soft drinks (don't feel it has to be tap water and coke it really doesn't, there is a better way!)

I practiced (in my mind) saying things such as "I don't fancy a drink today" "I don't tend to drink much anymore" "Oh I'll have a drink now and again but I tend not to on the whole"

I came clean to some good friends, no big declarations or explanations just simply that I had been drinking a bit too much,, it worried me a little and I was trying to cut down - they were fine about it (I love my friends)

I've said before but I read a piece of advice about addiction/bad habits 'Change your playground, change your playmates' and this makes a great deal of sense, so rather than the usual big boozy Saturday night you have monthly (for example) you skip the first big night out but arrange coffee with friends instead so you still see them, or have a cinema night instead of wine night. Or even have a totally quiet month until you ease into new habits.
Small things, perhaps you watch a film on Friday nights and associate it with wine and crisps - so you skip the film for a couple of weeks and do your nails instead, or read a book. I found this kind of things started to break my automatic responses.

Anyway, I do go on don't I

I have had a terrible night, ironically my body was behaving as if I'd had a mega binge (hadn't) I woke up in the night sweating, shaking and feeling sick, had to get up and feel terribly hungover today which is simply not fair! I forget that not drinking doesn't mean you never get unwell again or have the odd sleepless night.

Lonnika123 sorry, I was writing my huge post when you posted so I didn't see you, very good luck to you and big welcome.

Thank you all so, so much for the welcome and wise words. It has made me cry a little, in a good way. I am just heading out for the day with the children but will read again and absorb more later, and will stay in touch. This is the beginning of a journey, I hope.

And welcome too to Lonnika123, we'll do this....

And Luxury thank you so much, it helps immensely to know you've experienced similar. I hope you feel better soon.

I have done two days AF and haven't slept a wink! But still feel good for it

I am determined to do it. Love your advice Luxury. Not looking forward to the sleepless night and not sweats but I know I will feel much better tomorrow!

Today saw your on day one too.

Re the no sleep, what helped me was just visualising how my body was coping habit been slowly full of toxins and poisons... so trying to visualise them leaving me and how good that would feel

Hello lonnika, hope everyone is ok. I feel worn out but in a good way (busy day). Off to bed soon, so just chexking in. Spoke with man at aqua aerobics about back killing todsy - he seems to think its the exercise but that the exercise will help so to persevere. Belly and back in bits today, am taking painkillers before bed but fir purely medicinal reasons

Evening all!

spaaaaaaaaaaannnnna!! Happy 50th!! Glad you had a fab party, nowt like a good bop to set your soul soaring!! Awwww, so ruddy bloody proud of you, 2 years. Look at you, doing it and doing it good!!!

Consider terrorist bosied, she is turning into a young lady at long last. She's going for another CT next month. In my heart I know it's not healed, but nothing is holding her back. She took a flying leap into the river and scrabbled up a sheer bank to get out again with the biggest smile on her face.

I have resisted the wine, I don't know how. Work shit, but I am ploughing through. I got home yesterday to a flurry of missed calls from my GP. A letter today saying my consultant wants to see me and that I am to start taking aspirin with immediate effect.

My new meds are having a bonus effect, no appetite at all. I will be a skinnymalinkylonglegs before too long. Though I'd settle for slightly dumpy shortarse.

My eyes not getting any worse but they are dry. My new lube makes me all sparkly eyed so another bonus. I have to treat myself to more new bins so next weekend I have the fab task of going to my optician. We try on everything in the shop, god love her she is very, very honest. Naah. Not those, they make you look fatter , they don't look great now you've lost your cheeks, those would have looked better before you went grey, etc etc. Flaming well adore her.

bibbity well done on your massive AF achievements! I am a nurse btw. Hence my binges as soon as I am off for a couple of days. I fight hard to make sure I stay sober before my shifts. I drink as soon as I'm off because I can and in the hope it will blot some of the pain out. It rarely does. I am a bit old school, my training was good old fashioned stylee nursing, not targets, not paperwork.

ma did you hear back from any of the jobs you applied for?

broken hello m'dear! Don't dismiss how popular the sober broken is at parties until you've given her a chance to shine. Your true friends will love you just for being you. Get a couple of parties under your belt and you will be grand. lux is right, there are some great soft drinks out there which look the part. The Fevertree range, Fentimans - the Rose Lemonade is divine. And definitely take time to give yourself a wee beauty treat. It'll keep your hands busy. You can do this. Aim wee. A day at a time. Even hours at a time. This is the best public transport you'll ever travel on. We've got you.

made sweet dreams quine, x

lonnika how did day 1 go m'dear?

Tonight I am drinking bitter lemon and am clarted in a facebomb. Almost time for bed. Get my head down before the hairy alarm clock gets me up at 6.

Watching Car Share again. It fair makes me smile.

Psst. Psssssssssst.

sweet How are you and sweetdog doing? xx

Argh, not going well here. I need to dig deep and find the steely determination I had last week and not lose it again.

Today you've got this. It's a wobble, just a wobble.

Distract, distract, distract and keep at the front of your mind the person you want to be. Visualisation has been a very powerful tool for me. Make sure you keep hydrated, genuine thirst is the enemy of alcohol cravings I found.

Hope everyone else is Ok, any Easter plans? I need to stock up on delicious AF drinks as there is much feasting planned!

I think I probably meant friend not enemy, sure you get the gist though!

So failed yesterday. Back on it today. Got things to watch. Have got some melatonin to help me sleep (anyone tries this before). I won't be home tonight until 7.15, surely I can manage 3 hours before going to bed. I want to lose weight as well so plenty of incentives

today you really can do this, it's tough but you can do it. Like lux says its a wobble, which is perfectly natural. Take it a hour at a time if you have to, and keep posting

lux no nice plans here - working up until sunday, being healthy this week so can eat half a lindt bunny on sunday. May go to gym subday tho - only chance i have

Lonikka Nope, you didn't fail you simply slipped. Those 3 hours before bed, can you do something completely different (Changing your playground, remember?)
Long hot bath? Clear out a kitchen cupboard? It can really help to change your usual routine and break the automatic responses (finish work, feet up in front of telly with wine)

I like small distractions like cleaning my make-up brushes or tidying my underwear drawer, it's kind of soothing and not a boring chore like ironing would be.

Sorry, Hi Made enjoy your chocolate!

lonnika definitely agree with lux, you didnt fail - failing would be not coming back here - youre here and you had a slip, its all part of the learning curve. Youre bound to slip a few times, you are doing something completely new. No one gets in a car and drives perfect without a stalling a few times, do they? When you get in, how about you make and eat tea? That'll take you til 8. Then bath, make tomorrows lunch, do some sit ups, organise yoyr airing cupboard, clean out the fridge etc. Or, if you work, why not have a snack and then go out for a walk/run/to the gym. Thatl take you to half 8 no bother. Time you shower and have food it'll be going on for 10 and the day will almost be over. And (sounds like a know all) the gym gives a fantastic rush!

Just checking in. Having a few days off work for Easter and feeling better for it. Car broke down yesterday though so have repair bill coming which I can't afford,so trying not to think about that. Still drinking but just two glasses last night and probably same tonight. Friend is doing reflexology tomorrow as a treat so looking forward to that.

Oh, and been invited to a vair posh dinner in a Castle at the end of May. A kind of farewell to arms I suppose, but it will still be a rather nice night out with my chaps.

what you going to wear for the vair posh dinner at the castle? sorry to hear about your car, mines got a funny noise going on that I must get seen to. Reflexology.....bliss

Dub good to see you me dear and thank you - good to hear that Terrorist is turning into a laaaaaady, bless her x Your optician sounds so cool glad you're eyes are not getting worse, that is good news

Broken when I read your first post I was nodding, all very familiar to me too. You've boarded this trusted bus, it takes alot of guts to realise you have a problem and this is the first step in doing something about it. We are all here to hold your hand, it's early days and (in my opinion) just take one day at a time.....distract, distract, distract. At the start of my AF journey I found it impossible to get passed Day 2, I just cracked come Day 3. It's a long old road, if I can do this, seriously, anyone can. I grew up in France and was drinking wine and water from the age of 7 by the time I was 12 I was having wine on a Saturday night with dinner, my teenage years were a blur of alcohol (think snake bites, vodka, gin, cloudy ciders and fizz) drugs of all genres, my twenties cocaine was my best friend, by the time I was 26-7 I had released myself from the grip of cocaine, alcohol & puff very much in my life on a daily basis. I've drunk my way through my 30s & most of my 40s, sorry I went on a bit there and I'm going to leave that there as a note to myself of how far I've come. The benefits far outweigh the thoughts I have about drinking now. I am a better person and much nicer. Welcome and please stay with us

Lux how's your back lovely? Feasting sounds gooooood I've got a day off tomorrow and I'm intending to cook loveliness and do very little of anything Enjoy all of your treats....I still haven't got my hands on a facebomb yet, what am I like...scribbles on list to remember.....Have a relaxing evening x

Lonnika brush yourself down and be kind to yourself, as the others have said 'it was a slip' just take one day at a time, there is no judgement here

Today be kind to yourself, you are stronger than you realise. Plan your days over the weekend, try and fill them with lovely things to do

Beaches great to see you flower thank you How you doing?

Made hope you've had a good day x

It's taken me an age to type this, sorry if it appears to be a confessional, it's good for me to mark these things to look back later IYSWIM

Big love to you all x