Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

I love the Cheshire one, it's such junk TV but so addictive, I love seeing how other people live even if it's made up a bit like these shows are.

It's amazing, I can't take my eyes away from it. Amika is a crazy lady

Just checking in- sorry I've sort of lost track of the thread, but hope everyone's as ok as possible this evening.

I'm sober tonight after far too much wine yesterday. Started with a friend but predictably carried on on my own. Probably managed about three bottles so felt predictably and deservedly shit today. Marathon is two weeks today and I'm going to try really hard to stay af until then.

I am at work. Wish I hadn't bothered. I am trying to be pompommery but all I can think of is getting home and diluting this fucking abject misery with some wine. I've not even started my shift and it's already coming at me.

Every day I go in, I go in with the attitude of fresh day, fresh start and every day she shoots me down. I think I'm going to find some paperwork and get me to a quiet space.

I will fucking well get through this day if it kills me. Sorry for all the swearing. Laters taters x

elba hello quine, have you a sponsor page? Sorry if you've already posted about it, I haven't looked back very far xx

I'm afraid as a newbie I don't know any of the back story of your job or what you do Dubh (is that what you like to be called?) but anyway it all sounds monumentally fucking shit!! Fuck em. Swear as much as you fucking like

Well done Lux on 100 magnificent days without wine . What did you drink on the days when you did have something?

Commiserations to all with hangovers and all feeling blue/having other difficulties. I so know what you mean about work being the lesser of two evils Ma !

I think I'm on day 40 here and today I will not be drinking.

Any other lurking babes fancy updating us all?

Morning all - yeah, fuck 'em Dubh

Hi Bibbity thanks, yes I can't believe I cracked the 100! I have had the odd weak lager, but that's fine, for example, yesterday was very hot here, I did a load of laundry and cleaning, then at around 6pm when I'd finished I just fancied a cold beer. Just one then had a coffee and it's all fine. It's just wine I can't drink, and I don't like much other alcohol tbh, Pimms in the summer doesn't do it for me (too sweet) I just make sure I have plenty of choices, juice, fizzy water (that hit's the spot if I do half and half with cranberry juice)

I'd still love to be the kind of woman that could have a glass or two of wine when lunching with friends, but I can't and I fully accept that now.

40 days is great! Makes such a difference to sleep and appearance doesn't it?

Hi Elba 2 weeks until the big one then? Yikes!

Hope everyone else is OK, I think the man of the house has taken over my habits, he drank the house dry last night very fed up.

Have a good day everybody.

Well done bibbityand lux.
Am already into my first glass and no intention of stopping after yet another truly shite day. Can't decide whether it's better to jump ship or to stay. Had a row with dh the minute I walked in. Keep bursting into tears randomly. Don't want to be at work, don't want to be at home.....

Dubh how are you doing? Don’t apologise for the swearing, your colleague sounds a right pain in the arse. I know how soul destroying it can be not wanting to go to work, so you have my sympathies.
Bibbity well done on day 40!
Lux sending you strength to deal with H
Ma I’m so sorry, you’ve been through the wringer haven’t you my love. What is dh doing now? Hope you are able to get a good night’s sleep
Been a relatively good day here. Only taken 2 co codamols since yesterday, and only for the unbearable back pain. So tired though, was up early yesterday and looked forward to a lie in today (not in work til 3). Luckily dad checked my rota this morning when having his breakfast – I’d crossed out the 3-8 and wrote 9.30-5 over it (overtime) so got woke up in time. Not gone to the gym, am going in the morning instead, and sticking to my diet ok. Went over my syns by half a syn today but was under yesterday so makes up for it, and being low syn tomorrow. Bit of sad news, mam’s friend has died, she took her own life so upsetting, especially as she was in residential care so no way it should have happened. Really quite angry – appreciate we all make mistakes, but they knew the lady was at risk, there has been a negligence of duty (is that the right word) that has led to a young woman losing her mother.

Hopping on to the bus after a couple of years away :(

Hi Windy are you ok?

Hello! I have been lurking on and off for a year or so and have finally found the courage to post. I can relate to so much said on here especially how bloody hard dealing with alcohol, particularly wine, is.

Lately I have been trying to have af days during the week, with very mixed success. But recently came to realise that I need a significant break, if not forever (which seems very scary). The whole daily decision making does my head in. So on Saturday I decided it was the day, I normally give things up on a Monday and I can't remember the last sober Saturday I had so it seemed quite momentous. But it was OK and Sunday was OK too. But then yesterday I let tiredness and emotions (lots of ongoing family shit) got the better of me and I drank and it was stupid and I didn't enjoy it one bit but I didn't stop at one.

So this morning I poured out remaining wine and am back to day 1 with a massive bump. I have booked a gp appointment for two weeks time, if I haven't made progress by then I will ask for a medical detox as I'm terrified of what I am doing to my health.

Morning all,

Hello Windy welcome back, alcohol crept back in and up?

Welcome Today you've made a brave and fantastic decision by making that appointment. You say you've been lurking so you'll know there is no judgement here, only support, understanding and friendship.

Morning all.

made I was sorry to read about your family situation. It sounds really stressful. Having experience of shitty family relationships I can tell you that you weren't overreacting. Part of the headfuck is that one minute they're being horrible and you're sure it's wrong, then the next minute they're nice and you feel disorientated. You're not wrong. I hope you get a chance to move out soon. Please be careful with the booze and the pills. I hope I don't sound judgemental or patronising, but I properly worried about you when I read that.

lux 100 days! Sorry to hear about your H. You sound like you've already made your mind up and are looking forward to better times.

dubh I recommend getting signed off. I got signed off many moons ago, when my job was giving me palpitations, and the doctor put 'gastric flu' on my note. It was the right thing to do.

Hi to all other Babes, sorry not to NC everyone! Special waves to grumpy, windy and today, nice to meet you.

My 14 day detox has gone right to shit BUT I did manage 4 AF days last week. And I was AF yesterday and will be today and tomorrow. Plus still no caffeine. I really don't miss it, and now I'm over the withdrawal I feel better for it. I'm much less ratty, and it's helping me be a better parent to DD (at 2, she requires all the patience I can give).

I was feeling crap about not doing 14 days AF, but then I remembered that I always do 3 AF days per week. The last time I was on this thread, 3 AF days a week was an impossible dream. So I will give myself credit for what I have achieved, and set realistic goals for what I can do in the future.

This week I'll be working on moderation. I know realistically I'm likely to drink from Thursday. So I'll be cutting the amount, rather than going 'Oh, I failed at AF, might as well get tanked.' I'll do that by exercising at 6pm (wine danger zone) and planning quick easy evening meals.

It helps that I need to lose weight. Again. Having put the 4lb that I lost right back on again .

Right, I've thumped a massive post down on the thread so that's my usual work done have a lovely day everyone, and I'll check in more often in future.

Man, it's quiet here today

Windy hello and welcome back, how are you today?
Hi Today, how are things going?
Flora you've done really well, you've really changed your habits and that's great I don't think you're judging at all, thank you for your kind words. I'm only taking pills for real pain now (toothache). I'm working until saturday but not in then until saturday evening so will be applying for better paid jobs, I can't wait to move out and have my own space

Been a v. good day for eat. Eaten very healthily, and made piri piri chicken and vegetable rice for tea, was lovely. Went to the gym this morning, it was really good. I felt really tired but in a nice way later - like I'd just had a bath and put on clean warm jamas (I hadn't), just really warm and happy and relaxed, odd I know. Done a big food shop too. Tomorrow is a bit of a long day - work 10.30-6.30, then have bite to eat, walk to leisure centre for aqua aerobics class 7.30-8.30, prob get in around 9ish. Mam is still very down about her friend so am looking after her - she's tired out, poor thing. I think I'll be in bed by half 10 tonight!

Hello all Brave Babes tis indeed very quiet Flora easter holidays I reckon well done on no caffeine that is fab, cor 'yes' so much patience required for 2 yo

Welcome 75 & Windy you're in the right place for some wonderful support and well done for posting

Since I last posted I've turned 50 & I've been booze free for 2 years I had a party (Saturday b4 last) saw loads of family & friends I haven't seen for donks and it was fab. I had a grin from ear to ear all evening, sober danced me socks off and I am now fabulous 50 (and still sober ) don't want to come across as smug as those that know me on the bus know - it wasn't easy to get on this mission and without the support here I really really couldn't have done it! I thank you all. I remember when I first boarded Gerald I couldn't even get passed day 3...

Lux you are awesome CONGRATULATIONS on 100 days

Dub hello sweetpea, I 2nd the others - take some time off me dear, twill do you the world of good and who cares what the others think - you only get one life (that we know for certain) take it by the horns and have some 'YOU' time. give terrorist a bossie from me xx

Ma here's hoping you get an interview for the job you applied for

Made happy belated birthday honey

Margie thank you for the shout out. How are you lovely one?

Hello all other babes Hope Baby Rural Guggs Nuff Mouse Venus Joey Isinde Fox April Sweet Beaches Soc Bibity 42 Elba I'm sorry I know I've forgotten loads of you - how are you all doing?

Right off to walk skinny dog - she turns into hunter dog in the dark, have to superglue me arm sockets in.....

Bye for now x

Spanna congratulations on the birthday and 2 years AF! 50 years young eh

Happy belated birthday Spanna 🎂

Will check in tomorrow - easter holiday hectic!

I love it

Congratulations Spanna for both the 50 years young and 2 years sober. You are a

Taking a deep, deep breath, and knocking on the door. I need to come in.

I need to admit that I've drunk too much, nearly every day of my life, for pretty much 30 years (now 45). I do have one or two AF days a week, but absolutely follow the pattern of not being able to have just one glass of wine, always the bottle. As a minimum. And it's rarely the minimum. And also smoking alongside (only ever with A).

Both parents are alcoholics, DM dying of liver disease. I have a lifelong history of severe anxiety, mostly self-medicated with alcohol (which I can now admit has the opposite of the desired affect).

I have always functioned extremely highly, very successful career, marriage, three children. I'm not sure I've ever really felt any of it. Alcohol has always been the answer.

I want to take control. I physically feel that I'm killing myself. Am terrified of already having done too much damage. But I don't know how to be any other way.

The Easter weekend ahead... big lunches three days on the trot with different groups of friends and family. Each would usually be drinking pretty much all day. I would be the life and soul, in the middle, running around pouring everyone champagne, leaping in with anecdotes if there's ever a quiet moment. I cannot even imagine how to get through such days without A. And I can admit that it's all or nothing - once I have one drink, that's it, especially in big group situations. Party time. And once it's over, when everyone else has stopped, I carry on on my own until I go to bed.

I feel that I will be letting everyone down if I don't drink, and they will be upset with me, and it will ruin all these events. (Ooh, yup, the child of alcoholic parents desperate for attention.... achieving it through drinking).

I know that I can't think clearly enough about it. I look exhausted. I feel exhausted. I feel each day is a continuous battle of, will I, won't I.

So many of you have amazing stories, I am in awe, and yet still can't imagine being able to say, even seven days free.

How, where, do I even start?

Hi broken and welcome. Well done you have already made a start - you came on here and posted. So you've acknowledged that however high functioning you are, there is a problem. And you've set a subtle intention to do something about it. It doesn't matter whether that is this weekend, or the weekend after, or even next year - this is a start.

Maybe this weekend you could try to do just one or two things differently and observe how it goes and how you feel. So maybe at a big social gathering delay having your first drink for an hour and drink water instead. It's only one hour, you've plenty more hours left to 'catch up' if you need to. Worried that people will notice you're not drinking? Pour yourself a glass and set it aside for an hour, even horror of horrors, pour it down the sink. And then notice all the things that you think and feel during the hour.... maybe people are getting on with their party without you needing to lead the drinking, maybe you enjoy an hour if calm fresh water before the mayhem starts, maybe you feel a little more in control for those 60m minutes, maybe you'd like to extend it for a further 30 minutes? Or maybe you feel panicked at the thought of missing out on your share, maybe you feel lifeless and dull when you want to feel uplifted, maybe you are counting the seconds until that hour is over and you can glug the glass (or 3) that you've missed out on....

The thing is you won't know the answer until you try. So whatever you choose to do, try something different. Just for an hour. And tell us how you're doing. Someone will be around to cheer you on or support or nod along as they recognise similarity.

hi broken and well done on taking the first step. What really helped me was changimg my routine - up early for gym, to bed early. Kesping myself busy helped - gym, reading, swimming,drawing, whateber. Develop a bedtime routine - jammas warming on radiator, warm shower, body butter, good bpok then bed. Boredom is dangerous at first so keep busy. As its the first drink fhst starts you off, try and delsy the fifdt drink. By 10mins, thsn another and soon. Dont do day at a timedo hour at a time. Tell yourself for thd firsthour thst you wont drink. Who knows wgatll happen next hour, but not tgis hiur. Thwn when the next hour comes, decjde you wont drink. Of yiu cant nit dribk, at least it will delay things. And a brave babe is akways knocking around on here

Broken: "But I don't know how to be any other way."

^this

100% yes! Welcome - and keep posting.

I am still trying to work that out - how to be. My life is much calmer now... but I'm starting to feel stuff and I don't know how I feel about that (!). On the whole I feel a lot better, and more at peace than I've ever felt in my adult life. But then I get these moments of rage, moments of intense grief, of anger, of fear... and I wonder what I've done, pushing off from the shore and rowing my little boat, my little eight-year-old self, out into the unknown. I couldn't sleep last night, all these unbidden memories from my childhood and adolescence came back and it was as vivid as if I was there.

This isn't an easy path. It's simple, but not easy. Totally worth it though.

Apologies if that's all a bit heavy for a Wednesday morning!