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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

999 replies

dementedma · 05/03/2017 17:52

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

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26
theansweris42 · 21/03/2017 13:43

Oh margie I know that self-loathing.
Your DS loves and needs you.
I have had similar thoughts in the last few weeks and have started on small dose of anti-ds.
This has helped me to drink less as need for self medication is lessened.
Talk to GP.
Things can and will get better.
Keep posting Flowers

guggenheim · 21/03/2017 13:58

margie massive,massive hugs.

Everyone on this bus has been there and we know how crap it is. New day today, lots of hand holding here. It's all ok.

When I felt like that I went to AA. I was drinking 3/4 of a bottle of wine a night and felt that I couldn't stop. I desperately wanted to stop but just couldn't break the habit. There are lots of things which are shit about AA ( it can be very boring) but it is completely anonymous and it WILL stop you from drinking.

I just went and sat there with all the other sober people. I felt better and I stopped drinking. My confidence came back and I did well.

Make that GP appointment my lovely, but also give AA a call. It's not for park bench drinkers, it's for smart professional types and posh ladies and celebs too. They have an online service too.

It's going to be ok. You might drink tonight or you might be able to break that cycle- get reading and prepare yourself. Every tiny thing you do will help break the habit- even if you pour one glass away or drink loads of water alongside.

Stop hating yourself. Bet you don't hate the other babes? 😎Why would you? You deserve love and support, same as everyone else here.
Please keep posting, even if it's just to list what you're eating for tea or how shit eastenders is.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 21/03/2017 14:19

Oh Margie, don't give up on the idea of giving up - it really can be done! Have you explored every possibility? Would you give AA a try? it does sound like ADs could help you.

I enjoyed that Virginia Ironside article, Lux.

Hello to everyone! I read every post but haven't enough time to respond to them all, hope no one minds.

Discovered a nice new soft drinks: Bottle Green ginger & lemon grass cordial - the ginger is quite fiery so it feels like a grown-up soft drink, iykwim.

Day 21.

Flowerydems · 21/03/2017 14:34

Margie I really feel for you, I've got a problem like that when I'm out aswell. I don't remember much about being out with the inlaws at the weekend but I'm putting it to the back of my mind for now.
Have you tried medication? I've got bad depression/anxiety which peaked during my pregnancy and I have found they're helping.

I'm on day 2. Really want to make it to Friday af this week. Booked in with a pt on Thursday evening which I hope will stop me wanting a wine after. Baby has been a nightmare, we're all tired and I feel lost and low. We move in 3 weeks and I don't know where to start or what I need to do plus I have an ou assignment due next week but can't seem to focus enough to switch on the laptop.

Had an awful dream that my mum had died last night and I sometimes get weird dreams like dreaming I was pregnant a few weeks before I found out and some deja vu in random circumstances where I've dreamed it in advance so I was really spoooked, trying not to hit the wine to forget cause that's what's caused the lowness yesterday and today. Anyway hope everyone's good

AmeliaLion · 21/03/2017 16:21

margie, it is awful to feel that way. I had anxiety for a long time and that is definitely where my drinking started. Definitely tell the GP - I told my cbt therapist in my first session I needed strategies for dealing with it that didn't involve alcohol. Telling someone irl really helped. The more information you can give to the doctor the easier it will be for her to come up with a treatment plan that works for you.

Flowery, I'm on day 2 and also planning to make it to Friday with no alcohol. I didn't sleep well last night, then was very nearly late to work and had a pretty stressful day. But I'm still determined not to drink tonight - got an ikea trip planned to beat the boredom.

Fairenuff · 21/03/2017 16:49

Margie

And once I start I cannot stop. And I cannot stop.

That's a very scary place to be. No wonder you are frightened.

Take away the idea of stopping forever and just concentrate on right now.

Can you stop for just right now?

Don't think further ahead than the next half hour or even the next ten minutes.

You have to break it down into little manageable chunks.

We can help you. Stick with us. What are you plans for this evening?

And well done for coming to the bus for support. That was a very smart move, do you know why? Because you're in that big hole at the moment. And the fastest way out is to follow someone who already knows the way x

Rubyredlips · 21/03/2017 17:02

Margie sorry you're feeling so low. I had a hideous experience 11 days ago, I went from being life and soul at someone's house to waking up in the morning at home. I hate it and have decided to stop until I can work out all the shit. I'm feeling dreadful today but think it's due to being shattered. I now feel like I want a drink but I am not doing it. I will only feel worse tomorrow. Apart from today I have noticed a real improvement in my mood.
You will feel better just keep posting we are all here to listen and help

carteblah · 21/03/2017 17:33

Oh Margie, I'm really sorry. Please try on and hold on for the doctor's appointment- I've been in that place before and my GP helped so much. It was terrifying telling someone (even a doctor!) but I felt a massive weight had been lifted afterwards and was given resources and sertraline, which helped me massively. You sound like you're going through a hell of a lot and it's really hard when it all seems overwhelming and like there's no way out, but with time and help things can get better. Even though that probably feels impossible right now it can happen.

UnwiseOldElf · 21/03/2017 18:29

Sorry, Lux, I didn't realise Margie was an old hand here Blush.

Rubyredlips · 21/03/2017 20:11

I'm feeling completely rubbish. I just can't stop dwelling on the ridiculous behaviour of most of my life. What a complete idiot. I just hope that I feel better tomorrow.

madein1995 · 21/03/2017 20:12

Margie I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. Please, please don’t end it all Flowers you have lovely children to live for, and a DH. And I promise you, your dc would much rather have the not perfect you than not have their mummy at all Flowers I think telling the GP would help, maybe if you prefer a certain doctor going to them would be an idea? The doctors really can help you.
Amelia day 2, woo Star sleep does tend to be a bit rubbish at first but it’ll get better
My day has been ok, was called into work to provide cover. Am having a drink tonight, breaking my no drinking on school nights rule, but only a few as need to get up for work in morning. Also trying to stop having co-codamol to sleep and think moderately drinking might help me. Dreading court on the 4th April Sad had a dream last night, where the defence made mincemeat of me and where I was terrified at seeing that girl again. God help me.

madein1995 · 21/03/2017 20:25

Ruby I think most, if not all of us, can look back at our past behavior and cringe. I try to use the memory to reinforce how I don't want to go back to it. Try to not keep going over it, it's done and what matters now is the present Smile my worst memories are getting taxis while slurring and knowing the taxi drivers knew how pissed I was, flirting/practically throwing myself at men who clearly weren't interested, always being the loudest, throwing up in a random acquantencies bog at a uni pre drink and then going back to my cider shortly afterwards, going to lectures drunk, cutting my hand on a cut wine glass and just chucking cold water on it and wrapping a tea towel around it before resuming drinking, and pissing against my friends boyfriends parked car to annoy her as she'd been getting on my tits all evening Blush, (although the last one I can see slightly see the funny side)

madein1995 · 21/03/2017 20:26

Posted too soon! Those things are a part of who we were, and we can use them to make a better us Smile

Margie32 · 21/03/2017 21:12

Thanks wonderful Babes. You are the only people who get it. I wish you all lived in my house with me.

Lux, you are so wise and wonderful. Yes, I think I am grieving, or rather grieving with a 3 year delay. 4 and a half years ago my aunt, who was like a second mum to me, dropped dead on my bathroom floor. She was 58 at the time. Needless to say it was horrendous - my DS1 was 18 months old and I was pregnant with DS2. 15 months after that my beautiful DM lost her battle with cancer. She was 61. DS1 was nearly 3 and DS2 was nearly 1. I carried on because I had to - my boys needed me and I went onto autopilot. Now the grief has caught up with me and I'm drowning in it - it's making me angry and bitter and sad and then I drink.

Elf, I think our paths may have crossed a bit on the bus, but I was possibly lurking ashamedly at the time. I have followed your story and felt nothing but awe and amazement at what you've achieved. My bus pattern is: 1) come on bus and make big promises, spend a few days chatting with everyone, 2) break all promises and spend weeks on end too ashamed to say anything, 3) get back on bus with tail between my legs.

42, thanks for the support, it was interesting that you mentioned anti-depressants as I was wondering if they might help me. I was prescribed them once before but never actually took them as I was afraid of getting too dependent. Are yours helping you?

Guggs, thanks so much for words of wisdom. I went to AA once a week for a while in 2015 and it helped me stay booze-free for over 2 months. Then we moved house and my nearest meeting became a big trek away, plus the whole Steps thing felt like such a big commitment, I wasn't ready to do it.

Amelia, welcome and thanks so much for the kind words.

Faire, you wonderful wonderful Babe, thanks for always knowing exactly what to say.

Ruby, I hear you on the blackouts, it's happening to me more and more regularly now - it used to only happen when I drank red wine but now it doesn't matter what I drink. I saw my in-laws tonight and I was so ashamed, still not really pieced together my behaviour from Saturday.

Made, thanks for posting and for your support.

I am in a hole and I know it. I am so tired of feeling sad and scared and regretful all the time. Tonight I haven't had a drink and I might be able to last until the weekend but then if I have one, I won't be able to stop. I am going to self-destruct if I carry on like this. I can't remember the last time I laughed. The last time I truly felt carefree was July 21st 2012, before all the aforementioned shit happened in my life. I want the old Margie back but she seems to have got lost forever.

Rubyredlips · 21/03/2017 21:13

Thanks Made I just can't cope with facing people daily who know what a complete idiot I am. I feel sick. Need to sleep.

Margie32 · 21/03/2017 21:15

[Waves] to Carte and Flowery too.

dementedma · 21/03/2017 21:30

Am very sporadic in my appearances at the moment so sorry to be out of touch but am still here,still drinking

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madein1995 · 21/03/2017 21:33

Ruby can you front it out? Tits out, head held high? People tend to forget things sooner if I don't seem bothered, if that makes sense? Remember most people have done things they're embarrased of while drunk, and consider them really bad even if they really aren't.

Mouse how are you doing? Flowers

madein1995 · 21/03/2017 21:34

Ma hello! How are you doing?xx

bibbitybobbityyhat · 21/03/2017 21:37
dementedma · 21/03/2017 21:39

Hi made
Am very tired,very stressed.
Still breathing.

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madein1995 · 21/03/2017 21:52

Oh no ma I'm glad you are still breathing though Smile what's up?

LuxuryWoman2017 · 21/03/2017 21:59

Bibbity Wink

Just wrote a very long post that disappeared. Will try again tomorrow.

dementedma · 21/03/2017 22:15

Just work, as always, and family and money and stuff!
Nothing out of the ordinary

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madein1995 · 21/03/2017 22:57

Aww bless you, life can be shit sometimes! Any chance of having an early night and a chill?