Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

That's a lovely way to spend the day Flowerey it's so exciting, I'd rather buy homewares than clothes any day.

Re: What I wrote previously, in a nutshell I suppose it's about it being ok to have feelings, it's perfectly human. It doesn't mean failure or a weak will, it's just how you feel at that moment.

I'd really like an expensive handbag, it's not wrong for me to feel that way, it would be wrong for me to steal it, or deprive the family of food this month but it's not wrong of me to just think it would be nice to have that handbag.

So, I'm not going to panic or beat myself up if I feel later that I'd quite like a drink, it's just a feeling, I don't have to go with the feeling.

Writing things down here has really helped me think in new ways, see things in a new light, it's quite remarkable.
Thanks for putting up with my waffle! I really do appreciate it

I think it is helpful to write it down. Like the reasons for drinking.

I am a fun fun drunk. People love me. My boyfriend loves me drunk. I am effing hilarious. My friends love me drunk. I'm great. Not drunk me is boring and always tired

Yes Kik wine is the enemy of most of us here, she is a false friend.
I think if the AF beer hits the spot then it can only be positive.

You do sound very run down altogether, staying AF will help but for me it got worse before it got better. I believe good sleep is probably one of the best things for health, drunk sleep is not quality sleep, but that will get better soon, I promise.

I think you're wise to plan ahead for April, I plan ahead all the time and visualise how I want things to be and go.

I've said before on this thread, many times that I won't declare myself a non-drinker as it feel too much like pressure, I keep repeating to myself 'I am a light drinker' 'A now and again drinker' and I've been open about having the odd beer here and there, but while I can have those and enjoy them - I know I have to stay away from the wine.

You just post as much or little as you want here, it's a very supportive and welcoming space. It also really helps to talk it over and clarify thoughts.

Hi kiki, sounds like you've got some great coping strategies in place already! The worries about April are because you've only just started out on your road and don't know what you can and can't do safely. I guess it's a process of experimentation. Eventually you will know what you can stay in control of and what you can't. Great work on 12 days sober!

mouse I hope you got some sleep eventually. I was so sad to read your post. I can totally see how chronic pain would make you want any relief possible

lux wise as always! I find the cravings last only about 20 minutes at their height.

Thanks everyone who encouraged me to be glam last night. I wore the stuff and got lots of compliments!

Got to go now, want to nsmecheck more but got 2-year old whingeing about watching Charlie and Lola

So sorry Kiki not Kik - my old eyes

What is it about wine? I cannot drink rose or normal white anymore because they make me quite bonkers and crazy and give me a dreadful migraine. Red seems to be less of a gateway because I will just fall asleep eventually, instead of party Kiki, and prosecco seems to be the worst of the bunch in getting me pissed after 2 glasses and then trying to drink everything I can. I'm really finding I am angry with myself. Luckily I suppose, I'm quite aware that most alcohol makes me feel very ill (migraine while I am drinking it) including most beers, a lot of spirits and white wines (not fizzy so much) so I must focus on this - the migraines are not worth it. Losing a whole day is not worth it.

I am really angry with myself. My dad is an alcoholic and I always swore I wouldn't end up like him. But I am. And no one has intervened! They encourage me!

Kiki someone earlier in this thread said that alcohol is the one drug people will encourage you to keep taking and it's true.
I think it's largely because it's so normalised in our society. I don't know if you have read the whole thread but we've discussed a lot about this normalisation (Gin O'clock, Mummy juice) People won't encourage you because it shines a light on their own habits. If the whole gang is drinking a lot and you decide to quit because it's a problem then what does that say about them (is how they see it)

Even the bloody Sylvanian family supermarket has a booze aisle, plastic woodland creatures, children's toys drink wine FFS.

Would you ever say to someone 'come on, one cigarette/line of coke won't hurt' most people wouldn't even encourage a good friend to eat a cake if they were on a diet. Drink though, perfectly acceptable.

Flora sounds like you had a great night go you for going glam!

Kiki I could have written that myself. I seem to be a better drunk than I am a sober person. But I think that has more to do with not being so self conscious when I'm drunk if that makes sense. When I moved away from home to uni I had to drink to fit in and now it goes hand in hand with me not being so shy. Dh likes me when I'm drunk aswell, I think for him it's cause I talk about feelings more which I'm not 100% comfortable with a lot of the time

Lux the waffle is great. I think it's magic that we can write things down here and I wouldn't have managed 2 days af this week without writing stuff down.

I'm just not wanting to keep waking up feeling like this, being so thirsty, so crabby, my skins a mess and my eyes are always bleary. It's quite frankly shit and I don't know why I do it.

Heart goes out to you Mouse!

But, if you can, do remind yourself that drinking isn't helping or improving anything! You need other care and medication and assistance in your life - could you have medicinal cannabis for the pain?

Morning to everyone else. Day 16.

I so agree with what you say about cravings Lux! Yes, there will be cravings ... what do we expect? No one ever died of a craving.

Day 16 is fantastic Bibbity what a

I will read back later the thread, currently I am pretending to do some work haha.

I really am going to resolve to get back in touch today with a friend I kind of quietly ditched a little because she is not drinking for some time and I found it boring. I feel so so terrible. She isn't boring she is my best friend and I have not been a good mate to her. I used to visit quickly then leave so I could go and drink. Or try to get her out to drink with me to recreate old times. I'm such a shit mate who didn't appreciate her

Aw so glad babes are here posting thoughts... Aces. Will do a proper post later but KOKO babes

Thursdays are my frigging nemesis. I'm in the sidecar tonight, not because of today ( I would have been anyway) but I feel like if I'd been determined to be sober then today would have been a steep challenge.

Thinking about the future, I think I need to rejig today altogether. Ordinarily my best mum friend comes to see me, we go to playgroup together and then we have lunch. I love her and I love seeing her. But the thing is that her son is a nightmare toddler. I feel crap writing that, but the little dude won't eat, barely sleeps and is usually beside himself with hunger and tiredness, leading to him crumpling to the floor doing steam-whistle screaming at any suggestion of doing - well - anything. My friend is overwhelmed and I just 'catch' all of that, and end up feeling like it's my responsibility to not add to the stress.

I've just got really cross with my daughter because she did entirely normal toddler whinge about going for her nap, and woke up my friend's son from the nap which it took her 20 minutes to get him down for. She didn't deserve me getting cross. But my stress levels are through the roof. It is making me a crap mum. Not always, but today for sure. Lunch is also a nightmare because my daughter is a gannet, so when she sees my friend trying to tempt her son to eat with treaty foods she starts demanding treats herself and rejecting her own lunch. It's bedlam.

I think I need to start doing an 'away' meet, like at soft play or the park. That way I can run my normal routine without the madness in my house. It's just a shame to cut down time with my friend. But I can't cope with this. Certainly not sober.

I'm sorry, I know this is a dull post. Just thinking aloud about how to detox Thursday . . .

Flora remember 'change your playground, change your playmates' so perhaps changing the setting of your meetups is the best idea for now. This toddler stage won't last forever but while it's so stressful the park or soft play might be better options, especially as the weather picks up.

Also, we have all read about changing habits, we've all read the advice about making even tiny changes (different café for lunch, different walk to work etc.) perhaps shaking Thursdays up a bit could help with your automatic response (wine, gimme wine!)

I had to start watching a Tuesday TV programme during the afternoon at the start as it was normally my cue to settle down with a glass or 3, I had to break that habit and now have.

Pavlovian responses eh?

Great advice lux. I think you're right. Next time we'll meet in town.

Just checking in and haven't read back so apologies and welcome to any newbies I have missed. A lot on my plate at the moment so don't have any words of wisdom to contribute

God I’ve missed a lot!

Flowery big well done! Even bigger well done for dusting yourself off and getting back on the bus!

Flora hope you enjoyed Zumba, I’m sure you looked fab in your gear! You’re not a crap mum, anyone can tell you love your dd (who sounds fab btw) and having worked in a nursery, just 8 hours of looking after toddlers is bloody hard so I have huge respect for parents of toddlers! ‘Away’ days would be a good idea I think, provided you get nice weather for the park/similar

Elf one month, that’s a fab achievement

Time that’s fab, you can always have that in control feeling

Carte hope you’re ok

Hi Mouse, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through babe I promise I won’t go there with the codeine

Hi Kiki and well done on 11 days AF I think it’s normal to feel not too great for the first few days or weeks, just stick it As for your night out, I think it’s a good idea to start planning (I know I do), if you like alcohol free beer you could have that on night out and make up antibiotics or similar?

Lux I will bring cheesecake to Flowery’s virtual housewarming. Agree that WW is a false friend – at first she’s all lovely and a great shoulder to lean on in tough times, but before long she’s got you in her clutches and you’re over-reliant on her.

Bibbity well done on day 16!

Hi Ma

Hello to all other babes Been a good few days for me – lovely being back at work, everyone is really nice to me and lovely and I’ve had no tricky customers (yet). Also been quite tired and so managed to get off to sleep without any tablets last night

Had big interview at work today. Think it went well. Had promised myself to be AF in lead up...but did not quite manage that. BUT have cut down from a bottle to half a bottle a night. So feeling a little bit positive...

Thats a good start swars*, well done fingers and toes crossed for you re the interview, hope you get the job

Hang on to the positive feeling Swars good news about the interview, fingers crossed.

Wishing you well ma

Hope everyone has a peaceful night.

Ooh I also have a very fetching work top managed to avoid that over xmas due to xmas jumpers but now am kitted out in navy trousers and blue top

made fashion guru!

Hello everyone
I'm delurking to say huge congratulations to all who are struggling and winning, struggling and trying to win. You'll get there, but keep just keep on keeping on.
MOUSE life is shit. Sometimes!! Someone mentioned cannabis oil. My husband is very sick with terminal cancer and CO is helping with pain and sleep and for him also eating. He would literally be dead without it. PM me if you want. It could help. He was addicted to Tramadol ( a horrible pain killer) and he is off that so please if you want some help. I'm here.
Just so well done to everyone, you keep me sane and sorry I can't give more to this forum my life is too emotionally full but will be back.
Xxx

Totally! My one saving grace is the black cardi I'm allowed to wear as it's cold down by the freezer aisles, I do wish I were allowed to wear a nice scarf or something though! Have also figured out the exact angle a chair back should be at the be comfyish for your back