Brave Babes are boinging into Spring..Join us here!

[dementedma]

We are a bus load of Babes all battling alcohol and trying to resist, reduce and get our lives back under control. Whatever you have to say, we will have heard it before and no-one will judge you. This is a warm, friendly,supportive place with tough love when needed ( slap round the face with a wet squid called Barrie). Join us here.

Had a stressful day and around 11am thought "I so need some wine after a day like today"
Then I thought I'm not going to let some a*hole at work derail me.
I need to find another way to de-stress.

Feeling more positive than I have done for a long time re drinking and I know its being on the bus & having DH on board.

Hope everyone else has had a good day

Good news Time good to hear you're feeling more positive.
You know a drink won't really de-stress you, ultimately it will distress you (do you like what I did there )

Hope everyone is well today, I have an exciting challenge ahead, sorry to be vague but I am always nervous of being spotted by someone who knows me, anyway, it could be life changing (in a small way) and is something I really, really want - I feel ready for something like this in a way I wouldn't have done last year.
Could be a complete career change and a dramatic change in fortunes.
Point being, I am ready for change, my mental health is in good shape, my mood positive and my self-worth actually exists for the first time in a long time. If this doesn't work out, something else will.

In large part that is due to the support, strategies, insights and comrades here so thank you all

Lux that's great to read, go for it.
Inspiring to see how much difference low/no alcohol has made to you

Well done swars how are you doing tonight?

Thanks flora I wasn’t too tired – because I went to bed but wasn’t tired so took 2 tablets to get off to sleep – loss less than usual, I need to get into a proper sleeping pattern and think working will help me with that

Fab news time, Lux is right, it won’t calm you down it’ll just bring all those bloody emotions to the surface

Lux I’m so pleased for you, you go girl!

Hello to everyone and sorry to anyone I’ve missed!

I’m excited for work and raring to go now! My course today went quite well, was very thought provoking (was on adolescence) especially the bit on coping strategies (she had us think about and jot down personal to us strategies we use, eg self care, fight or flight, how we tell people we’re down etc). Very thought provoking, kind of realised that my main way of emotional support is on the babes bus and that I don’t tend to show people in RL that I’m down/upset, I try to put on a brave face and fake it. Very interesting

Morning everyone!!

Managed another night af so I'm chuffed so long as I manage tonight I'm not even bothered if I fail tomorrow 3 days in a row is massive for me.

Lux sounds exciting, hope it all comes through for you. You really are a massive inspiration to us all so I'll keep fingers crossed over the interweb for you

Sorry not to nc, away to try and wrangle the 3 kids for drop offs

Morning all

Day 4 AF here. The WW is scratching at the door but I have Zumba tonight so I'm safe.

Does anyone else get weary when they cut the booze out? I mean physically tired? I've had 3 early, sober nights and I'm knackered. Heavy eyelids, heavy legs. The sleep is great but feel tired when I wake up.

Morning, everyone! What a lot of lovely positive messages to find on here. Sounds like a lot of corners being turned, which is brilliant.

Flora yes - 100%! I was KNACKERED when I first stopped drinking. I thought I'd be all full of energy and joie de vivre but nope - absolutely knackered. I think for me it was years of crap/no sleep catching up with me. I'm not very good at working out "oh, I'm tired - " and then " - perhaps I should take a nap/go to bed?" Still learning. But yes, I hear you. I felt the tiredness in my bones! 4 days is fab though - keep on with it and you will feel better and better over time.

I've had a weird few days. I'm in a strange place with myself - starting to work on some of my habitual responses to things - starting to see boundaries between "my" stuff and other people's stuff... which might sound odd - but I've spent my life trying to do the "right" thing - second-guessing other people - typical co-dependence, I now realise - and am just starting to learn (a) to say "no" and (b) how to look after myself. It's good - but it's also not straightforward.

I had a complete meltdown this morning about something not that major in the grand scheme of things. I got all teary - thinking I'd made a "complete mess" of something and it was a "disaster" etc etc etc. That would have been an "I need wine this evening" cue before - but this time I felt it through, had the cry, and then got my rational(ish) head on and started to get my sense of proportion back.

I went to a meeting Monday night where they were giving out sobriety chips (and yes, I used to have this face about that concept too). I have never been at one where they do that - and it didn't occur to me until it was too late that I COULD HAVE GOT MY ONE-MONTH CHIP! It will be one month on Friday. Yay! Go me! #smallfistpump etc.

Enjoy this beautiful Spring day, fellow Babes! xx

Cheers, elf! I really think you need a namechange Huzzah for your 1 month chip! I certainly would not go at one of those. I hope you'll get another chance to pick one up.

I need a small boost from you, Babes. I bought some colourful Zumba gear a while ago, as a present to myself. It's arrived today. I love it but I am getting the heebie-jeebies about wearing it tonight. Most other ladies are V British and wear grey/black gym wear, like I usually do. Our instructor is colourful and fabulous and excited about me jazzing it up a bit, but I feel a bit self-conscious about not being as slim as I'd like. I usually stay 'safe' by being unremarkable but I feel that's not the way forward in life at the moment (to live a small life, and medicate with booze). Trouble is I find confidence tricky.

I need to wear it, right?

Any encouragement or slaps from Barrie are welcome.

Flora wear it - 'I am a fabulous Babe' is your mantra

flora wear it! Zumba is brill and even better in technicolour.

I knew you lot would come through

You should absolutely wear it, Flora! It sounds great. I think the confidence often comes after doing things like that. It's a pleasant by-product of pushing out of one's comfort zone , even if the doing it part is really scary.

I joined my local library yesterday. It's such a small thing and I've been meaning to do it for months but struggled with the fear of having to talk to the librarian and stumble through giving all of my details. Bloody anxiety. It's so weird, there was a time when I would have swanned through things like this like they were absolutely nothing. I've bricked myself up into smaller and smaller spaces as my comfort zone shrank.

How is everyone? Still lounging around over here with oversized mega mugs of tea and humming loudly trying to avoid the news, which seems bloody dire as always.

OMG break through
Still on sharing a bottle a night as recommended by the babes (cos I was on so much)
DH has just said " we can open another bottle and whatever is left you can have tomorrow when I'm out"
"No thank you" I said "but you can have another glass if you like.

We are now off to watch Benidorm with a glass of water.

I can honestly say I have NEVER felt so calm and in control. I know its early days but somehow knowing I have the bus to report on (and you lovely peeps cheering me on) keeps me on track.

thank you all

Time that feeling of control, hang on to that, it can become your new normal.

Hi everyone else, hope you're all well. Elf you've amazing, Flora bet you looked Glamazing at Zumba, Flowerey how are you tonight?
carte good to see you. I so understand how anxiety can make the smallest thing huge, well done with the library.
Sorry not to mention everyone, on my phone.
Thinking of all babes.

Hi all just got in from work (asked to stay om) deffo tired so pill free noght, up at 6 30 for work. Hope everyones ok, will check in tidy 2morrow

Hi all just got in from work (asked to stay om) deffo tired so pill free noght, up at 6 30 for work. Hope everyones ok, will check in tidy 2morrow

Hey....

I'm wide awake, not with alcohol but with my meds I think? I am suffering from terrible insomnia and nothing i do will stop it, until I've reset my inner master clock with my Pain Manager and I can't see him for ages.

My ribs and heart hurt. I've got to back to hospital tomorrow for more lung and heart tests.

I feel so poorly all the time I just want to get off my face but there's no vodka in the house.

I want that first warm hit you get with that first gulp. I'm drinking again, mainly weekend or Mondays for some reason

I nailed 3/4 of a 70cl bottle plus wine last weekend,just gone.

My meds are so messed up. I'm EXHAUSTED all of the time, i need to get hold of my Care Coordinator at CMHT and see my Psych again.

I'm all over the place.... sober today but not through choice

So much is happening around me and I've got so much to do!! I feel I might explode. I'm scared of trying to take my life again, I'm so up and down my poor DH

Sorry to ignore you all, I know life's shit for us all.

As a meds addict, the poster who mentioned co-codamol online, PROMISE YOU WONT GO THERE!

I'm a victim of "quick fix" no one will know meds off the net because I love codeine but I bought other shit too.

2 weeks in HDU later, I'd lost 1.6 stone and looked like I'd died. My daughter was 3years old.

Sorry to waffle on but it helps at times for me to get things out.......

I hope you have all slept. I'm sorry for not reading back but I can just about brush my teeth when I remember, let alone conversations with people, on a scree, or stood next to me.

DH is worried sick but my DD got into the uni she wants. Everything is changing and I simply can't cope.

Mouse xxx

I am new. 11 days AF. I am exhausted?!!!

I am stopping drinking because I drink too much too often, convincing myself that it's all controlled and moderated. It's not. Probably 3 bottles of wine spread out over a whole week - by myself. It used to be that I binged on weekends until I was sick, which I don't do anymore but 12 days ago I went out with mates and mixed drinks, passed out with my clothes on etc, and lost a whole day to hangover and that was the point I was like WTF. I have to stop before this spirals.

Anyway I have been trying an AF beer when I feel the urge but only one, and this seems to be ok but I don't think this is a good long term plan

Big welcome kik your body is adjusting to being alcohol free, you'll soon feel much better. Well done for 12 days, fantastic.

Oh Mouse I'm so sorry to hear you so low

Morning everybabe, new day.

Hope you're feeling alright this morning mouse sorry it's so tough atm.
Welcome kik.
Happy Thursday babes

Morning all,

I had a failure last night opened a bottle and nearly got through a second under the guise of celebrating.

But I'm just going to dust myself off and try again tonight. Our mortgage got approved so we're going through the purchase of the house. So I'm really excited, any money I waste on wine is something I can't do in the house. Just need to focus

Sorry selfish post again but feeling fuzzy and need to get ready to drop off the kids

I had another LBM last night, can I share?

Around 8pm I suddenly had the urge to have a cold beer, I just fancied one. Then I thought to myself 'When will these urges go for good, when will they pass?' I expect you can imagine the internal groan.

Well, we have no alcohol in the house right now, and the urge passed.
Suddenly, the penny dropped, I just fancied a beer, I didn't have the urge to go out in my pyjamas to buy some, I just fleetingly thought it would be nice to have one. I sometimes fancy ice-cream, or to stay in bed all day, or shout at someone who is annoying me, but it doesn't mean I do it, or can't live without it.

I know a lot of people here are really, really struggling and don't want to drink full stop whereas some want to moderate and cut down.
What I guess I'm saying is don't panic if you find yourself sometimes fancying a drink, it doesn't necessarily mean it's game over or that it's even a true craving - it can be 'that would be nice, but hey ho'

Hope that makes sense, maybe I'm stating the bleeding obvious but it helped me.

Anyhoo hope everyone is well today.

Flowerey it's not failure it's a slip.
Congratulations on the mortgage approval, this is fantastic news!
An exciting new start, looking forward to the virtual housewarming (AF of course)

Lux I loved reading what you just wrote, its about control for me I think but good to hear you still get the fancying one when you're a pro.

Thanks I'm so delighted. 5 more weeks of little Lithuania partying and waking us at 5 in the morning. Going to spend my day looking at lovely things for the house now

COngrats on the house!

I feel more than tired, I am not sure it's not drinking either I thin it's just that I am unhealthy and run down.
I had a terrible cold last week, upset tummy, I have piles, my fibroids gave me a dreadful period and now I think I have right eyeball strain as it hurts when I move my eye. I'm falling apart! Drinking was exacerbating this but getting the woozy sleepy feeling made all my problems disappear.... I began to hate being drunk a few years ago, but now love the first drink, the sleepy woozy feeling so much. So I am missing that. But actually the AF beer does seem to be hitting that tasting lovely spot, then that feels like it's enough.

I have a night out planned mid April that's boozy. For the first time ever I am not looking at it as a way to legitimately get smashed. I am conflicted if I want to drink or not - I wonder if I could just moderate? Why is this on my mind so much so far in advance?? It's because my BF wants to 'reward' our abstinence with some drinks that night, but he doesn't really drink like I do. I think avoiding wine FOREVER is the key, because red wine and prosecco seem to be like the opening door to DOOM.