In need of advice I think my husband raped me

[Tania3541]

I'm
Really confused I don't know what to think and we do occasionally have rough consenting sex so this is where I am confused

Me and my husband were in bed 2 nights ago and had Already had sex after he woke me up
it took Me about hour to go back sleep .... later I was
Woke up again to find he put his hands on my pants and was rubbing me and I changed position and groaned
I said no I was to tired
Then he put his hand in my pants and pushed his fingers inside me hard so I grabbed his hand & removed it and said NO * stop it !! as I pushed his hand away ... And I was putting pants back in place he roughly ripped them off and he climbed on top of me pushed my legs apart and had sex with me I was led there in shock and to stunned to say anything after I just turned away and didn't know what to think

We have had sex where he is more dominant than me and that's fine but I'm sorry I'm just feeling very confused
And trying to make sense of everything

He messaged me the next day and said sorry it was a bit rough last night but I couldn't help myself and I know you needed it
He came home last night and said he is fed up of me telling him no and won't put up with it anymore !!! I'm still in shock I don't know what to think

[Janet80]

How awful for you. Rape between husband and wife is far less reported in the newspapers than other rapes. Please please don't stay in this relationship, keep the texts, show someone, report it. No man would do this to someone he loves and respects. Don't ignore it.

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

I can only echo what others have said: what is most terrifying is that he is not appalled by his own behaviour, not remorseful, repentant - does not even believe he has done anything wrong.

Rape within marriage was made illegal in 1991. He clearly missed that memo.

Please leave him. He will do it again.

[catlover1987]

Not only did he rape you OP, he has shown no remorse. I am so sorry this has happened to. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? Someone you can stay with for a while?

[LegosAndSkiing]

You were raped, if I were in your position I wouldn't even bother calling the police I would go there.

You can't let him get away with this, he will only do it again.

[YERerseISootTHEwindy]

Yes you also have a text to prove it so defo police

[Holly3434]

Its easy for us to sit here and type he raped you, and leave but you need to speak to a professional in this field to give you the strength to leave. Can someone help me out there's an app available on your phone if he does anything tap the app doesn't show on your phone but records and phones the police I can't think what its called

[DevelopingDetritus]

give you the strength to leave. How do you know OP hasn't got the strength to leave. She's confused as to whether it's rape or not.

[Ilovewillow]

Yes he raped you, i'm so sorry! He has intimated that he will do it again. Please leave and get away from him.

[BettyBaggins]

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened. Is it just you and him? DC at home? Do you have any friends near by? I am concerned about your immediate safety this weekend, it sounds like his behaviour is changing and this may happen again soon.

[Holly3434]

DevelopingDetritus your very very nieve everyone has loads of strength they just up and leave victims of abuse need alot of strength off others to help themselves. What a comment to make

[DevelopingDetritus]

Lego unfortunately some people have been conditioned not recognise these things.

[NewPuppyMum]

Legos - it's obvious why. He's her husband and some women would find it hard to compute that their husband can rape them.

It's up to her what she does next. She doesn't answer to us.

[Didiusfalco]

Hold on there Lego OP has had a traumatic experience. She's allowed to stop and catch her breath. I guess chatting on here is a way for her to process what has happened.

[Msqueen33]

Oh my god what a disgusting man! He's raped you! He's also basically said he'll have sex with you whether you like it or not and to put up when he wants it. I'd strongly leave as he sounds awful!

[DevelopingDetritus]

Holly I'm not sure what you're on about. The OP hasn't up to now mentioned about a fear of leaving, you've just presumed this. Hopefully when she realised she needs to get out, of course, ask for help.

[seafoodeatit]

OP, sadly you were raped as the other posters have said. He did not have your consent and you very clearly said no several times, he should have stopped the first time. His apology for being rough completely ignores the severity of his violation, he assaulted you there is no other way to put it.

I'm so sorry for what he's done to you, Please, please if you can do not let him into the house tonight, if it's too late for that I would be ringing a close friend or family, possibly police to help you get your things and go somewhere else, it is not safe for you to stay there.

[SarcasmMode]

Get out now.

He's raped you and he's admitted he's going to do it again.

Rough,consensual sex is fine - it's obvious when you are both into it but this is rape.

Reading your OP made me want to cry and violently harm him.

Please leave now. Whatsmore, call the police.

What a vile cunt he is

[Bitofacow]

YOU know what happened. Other people on the thread are telling you. Trust your instinct. Keep calm and make plans.

[shyturnip]

Please please report this. It is NOT normal.

Do you have a close friend or family that you can talk to and stay with?

[PuntCuffin]

Legos the OP posted just before 7pm to ask for advice on an extremely difficult and emotive subject and you expect her to have processed and made a decision by barely 7.30pm. Have a heart.

OP it was rape. Have you got anyone in RL you can talk to and get support from.

[frauleinsallybowles]

you poor thing...please keep those texts and get as far away from him as possible. please report this to the police

[WorshipTheGourd]

Oh, OP, I am so sorry, this is definitely rape.
And he has made it clear he will do it again.
Keep the texts. Call Womens Aid and police as soon as you can.
You cannot spend your life living with this.

[OSETmum]

You were definitely raped.

That phrase, 'I know you needed it' is really chilling. Who is he to think he knows what you 'need' better than you do? Urgh what a disgusting, arrogant man .

I really hope you can get free of him soon.

[wobblywonderwoman]

Op- keep safe

I think Lego's post should be removed :(