I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

[mummytotwo2]

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

If he always pays in cash I would assume drugs?

Does he work on contracts? Like in IT or something?

You don't know what he does because he won't tell you.

That's just not a good thing. It doesn't matter how pretty he is.

Do yourself a favour and run.

He likes conspiracy theories and talks about random crap a lot?

Mystery solved! His a stoner who deals drugs.

You happy that he's buying your lunches and your daughter's coat from money that is almost certainly dodgy, be that undeclared income or drugs?

Get yourself out of the gutter, woman!

"He never even demanded sex."

Well, he's obviously a keeper!

I reckon gambling online most likely.

There is none so dumb as them that cannot hear.

What's the big deal if he gets grumpy? He isn't the second coming of Jesus, just some dodgy lad. Give your head a wobble op, you're clearly one of those types who get a thrill from associating yourself with the criminality of society.

Says lot about freemasonry and says no point voting because it's a planned system? So spends too much time on the internet reading up on conspiracy theories, you mean, when he should be applying for jobs?

How much is he into his conspiracy theories? I have a friend who make a pretty decent living from making those shitty conspiracy videos on youtube. I was amazed at how many people watch them, and how much the advertising can then pay. So could maybe be that.

He's either a criminal or mooching off someone (mum, gran etc), tbh op I think you should aim higher, he sounds like a loser pretending to be something he's not.

Be very careful about this guy, you really are being very naive to introduce him to your children.

I have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through

After three months?

OP, your judgement is off. That was a mistake.

Also, believing in conspiracy stuff like the illuminati etc is usually a mark of someone thick, rather than intelligent.

You say he might be 'grumpy or hang up' if you ask him whether he's a drug dealer. Well, so what.

If he is a drug dealer he's not going to tell you anyway.

Look, you've lost your head here. You've not read between the lines or observed anything, just rushed in, 'instant best friends' -telling him everything about yourself.

Be wary, find out what he is about. If he's gets grumpy, well so what?

Someone up thread mentioned he could be grooming your children, maybe. Maybe not. Pedophiles can be young and handsome too. Just start getting facts. If you feel something's off, there's a reason why.

Is it freemasonry he's talking about or the Free Man grade A conspiracy shite?

I knew a guy like this. Was a coke runner. Worked delivering drugs and collecting the money. Not a full time job but plenty of cash.

Don't ask him if he's a dealer ffs😂😂😂 just ask him where he gets his money. It doesn't really sound like he spends a lot to be honest, it's not like flash cars and nice house, the guy lives with his mum and forks out for cabs or a meal, my money is on he's spending his dole or his mums giving him money, your not talking big money here. That's probably why he pays in cash he doesn't have any money in his account.

If he is a drug dealer he's not very successful as he can't afford his own place even. 😂

Ps as for the conspiracy theories, now you know how he spends his time, on line looking at shite.

OP, just ask him next time you see him. It's a totally reasonable question, the sort of thing people ask all the time. I really can't imagine any answer that would be satisfactory. Do the Clare's Law thing. Call the children's mother, find out what she thinks and how they came to split up. And don't have such low standards!!!

FFS Dont call the ex and ask how they split up. Unless you want to come across as some unhinged nutcase. Cant believe anyone would suggest that as good advice, its up there with print this page off mn and show it to whoever. And if it wasnt an amicable split, the ex is hardly going to give an objective view.

He is a loser. A good looking one but still a loser. He's probably going to use your address for something dodgy. You and your kids deserve better.

I'd just ask tonight on the phone, so what you've been up to today, You never get chance to talk about your day
If he comes back with some one liner, just say
Come on stop messsing, what you been up to
Did you look for a job, you seen anybody etc etc

i know the answer to this one- it was drugs, counterfeiting, arranging warehouse parties, running doors and other stuff.

Reader I married him it didn't end well. Fortunately the bad bastards he was mixed up with realised I wasn't involved in it / had no idea and so decided to just take it out on him, that said 'when they set the car on fire outside the house to warn him' that could have been dangerous to others.

RUN.A.FUCKING.MILE.

Google his name and see if anything untoward pops up!

Otherwise just ask him out right.
What are the people like who he socialises with, are they criminals, drug dealers etc? Well to do?

My first thought was drugs to be honest!

A real man is an example to his kids. If that means doing a low paid job (especially if he can't afford his own place) so what? Unimpressive pretty waste of space.

I would agree with Bluntness, while he is spending money he doesn't/shouldn't have, he doesn't lead an extravagant lifestyle. It's probably his mother's or benefits money he is blowing. It would explain why he won't tell you where the money comes from, it's embarrassing to admit.
Regardless, it strikes me that you know very little about him and he doesn't seem a motivated, responsible person (waiting for the perfect job to land on his lap but not interested in applying for any positions). Not sure what your relationship really is founded upon, apart from him being a goid listener to your issues.