I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

[mummytotwo2]

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

Maybe instead of us all telling the OP to have a conversation with him like grown ups would we should just tell her to 'cancel the cheque'.

It would have the same result, feck all!

OP please say you're using appropriate contraception

Oh my word, I've been lurking on this thread from the beginning but Spunkle Wentworth just tipped me over the edge.

LadyOfTheCanyon, that was the right word, spunkle, I like that.

So you hint you'd like lingerie and he gets it? That's the little treats that make you feel special? It's not exactly that thoughtful and is for his own benefit really.

My dh hates gift shopping but even he'd be off to Anne Summers like a shot if I dropped hints about wanting crotchless kecks. (actually he'd prob just cut gusset out of my "special event like smears" knickers)

And no way would I be spending my time writing down shirt for him. She's home on his PC all day, he can do the fucker himself. He has more free time than you, he can do his own research. His kids should be his motivation, if they haven't made him sort himself out then nothing will. He doesn't sound as smart as you say if he can't even figure out how to apply for a course.

He doesn't need to sort himself out as his mam and sister look after him there during the week cos he won't see you on a school night and he has you for weekends.

This is rather entertaining, thanks OP. Needed a giggle.

Just wondered what he was doing in Primark though. Bit beneath his standards isn't it?

Clearly he is an undercover model. . Does he have good legs OP? I have solid information that when an advert was showing for a certain hair remover, those legs belonged to a man... I know, its a revelation innit? Are his legs smooth btw...

@SpunkleWentworth

spunkle that chune you dropped up thread was sicccckkk. Eva fort of being in the music biz?

😁

The only way I could see there could be some element of truth in this is if this mystery man is actually 22 and the OP herself is 20 - making them 10 years younger than she's claiming. I'm in my 30s - and no disrespect - but her descriptions, the way she talks etc and his set-up just doesn't sound age appropriate.

Oh good lord, this is still going!

OP, you are quite spectacularly naive. How can you even begin to justify any of what you have written here??

Your original post wanted to know if it was 'normal' to not know a frankly basic piece of info about your 'bf'.

Unanimous 'no.'

You 'but........'

Do you honestly think everyone has disagreed with you because we're jealous or don't 'understand' the appeal of this man. No.

It's because there IS no appeal for the majority of people. He is not appealing.

Personally I wouldn't give a stuff about his past or current circumstances because I know a few people similar ( I come from a fairly rough town) and the thing is, all of them deal drugs.

This doesn't mean that they are not intelligent or that they are fundamentally bad people ( some are, but mostly they are ok people with shit morals doing a bad thing). All of them are shady. Do you see? Just like your 'intelligent, fantastic, shady good guy.' And it doesn't matter how much you say he wants 'this and that to better himself.' Or how much your kids love him, because the reality is that until you get some real honesty and some proof that his money is from honest means, everything points to it being dodgy. And him being everything that PP have said here and you disagreed with. Even worse, you will just be just as bad. Do you think so little of yourself?

Boils down to who you'd rather see walk out of your door. Him and his drug money........or your kids being taken away from because 'mommy loves the loser more than us' and she chooses to keep him and all the Ann Summers underwear he can buy.

OP I've really enjoyed this thread and suspect MNHQ is lining it up for Classics.
Rather clumsy cutting and pasting mid thread, though. Nobody can type that fast. I'd give it a B+

For instance - she claims her sister recognised him from college a few years during a childcare course - this suddenly made me think, as I did a childcare at college when I was 16. I certainly would not remember some random guy on another course after all these years! Also, the lack of employment history would make sense if he was only out of his teens, still at home with his mum and siblings (his brother who is currently in college) etc. His descriptions of wearing tracksuit bottoms etc, used to hang around with his 'ghetto' pals, it sounds like it was only recently he was in his teens. The fact OP sounds naive, I'm sure stems from immaturity. I feel maybe that's why she's so flattered with the gifts etc. I think by your 30s and with after enough life experience, you'd see through it!

The way she describes him as intelligent, talks about politics/philosophy etc just comes across as a much younger man trying to assert himself - I recognise this from boys/men I went to college with and my brother's Uni pals were like this, always having philosophical debates! There's so many other things that make sense too. I'm sure I've hit the nail on the head.

So.,, mood swings, paranoia, inability to hold down a job, world owes him a living, dismissive, secretive..flirting from course to course/never finishing anything... conspiracy addict.
... op, this young man has serious mental health issues. Possibly drug induced, if he's hanging out at the gym a lot. But either way it sounds like he has a host of problems. Possible BPD and possible paranoid schizophrenic. Possibly a whiff of narcissism in there too. Impossible to truly tell without meeting him and giving him a good workup of course but the posts you have put up here are grim reading

At BEST youve got a sulky manchild on your hands, with no job, a bad attitude and mooching off his mum. At worst, you've got someone involved in low level drug dealing, with serious mental health issues.

I would suggest taking a big step back and cooling this off. Google the freedom project and take a course, because your loser radar isn't working.

CAN WE PLEASE STOP THIS THREAD NOW!!! ITS GOING NOWHERE

The nest egg is actually his life-long savings. I expect he's only just stopped getting pocket money 😂

How can you say it's going nowhere? We've got SpunkleWentworth now!

Spunkle Wentworth for life, fam.

I don't even think Wentworth is that good looking anyway....even when he was younger, as apparently OP thinks he's an old hag now...

I have one of these on my facebook feed. Everything is a conspiracy, everyone's out to get him or stop him achieving his rightful position in life. Hops from course to course because life gets in the way, it's too difficult and far too complicated to talk about. Heavily invested in conspiracy theories.

My favourite one so far is, if Adam and Eve were first why do they have belly buttons in paintings of them? 😄😄 Makes me actually laugh out loud when I think of it. He also loves to lecture us mortals about world and religious events.

I know we don't understand him OP, but don't lumber your children with him.

That's a good point murphys just looked and Wentworth is 44, but I'd say looks younger than a typically 44 year old. The op said her boyfriend is 30, yet he looks like a young Wentworth and from the photo I'd say she meant a young as in teen/early 20's.
I think the poster who said the op and her boyfriend are probably only in there 20's is probably spot on!!!

Mn are off sick I think.

I love ❤️ Spunkle Wentworth Genius.
Haven't laughed so much in ages..thank you OP 😂

Op come back. We want to help him.

Do any of you who know people like this think they look like Wentworth? Maybe it'd the same guy...

Your sister recommended that you go out with him? Some sh*tty sibling rivalry going on there! If he was such a catch, why didn't she jump at this once in a lifetime (we hope) opportunity?

I love this thread, despite my increasing jealousy

I have just read the whole of this 😴 is it the plot for a new Martina Cole book ?😂 the OP can not be a real person !