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Original poster

I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

785 replies

mummytotwo2 · 16/02/2017 15:41

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
tripette · 22/02/2017 16:37

Momma Stop that, my elderly gusset couldn't possibly handle a Wentworthing.

Ellisandra · 22/02/2017 16:38

Does he do the duckface pout?

supercue · 22/02/2017 16:38

I grew up on a council estate, I never met anyone this thick.

Original poster
mummytotwo2 · 22/02/2017 16:38

MommaGee I don't think he's using steroids tho obviously i can't be sure, he's shown me pics from like 7-8 years ago and he was quite built then and i know he's been training for a number of years and he eats a balanced diet, he cooks for me sometimes, doesn't look unnaturally big or built the way some steroid users look and he's tall so he carries his size quite well.

OP posts:
AnarchyKitty · 22/02/2017 16:39

You've never wanted to go to his house in the year you've known him?
You must know he's either right dodgy or has another woman on the go.
Are you the OW?
This is truly the thread that keeps on giving.

MommaGee · 22/02/2017 16:40

Go with him to the job centre and remind him that working should improve his mental health more than sitting at home everyday.

Offer to go to the GP with him to talk about his depression. They can access counselling, talk about medication etc.

Tell him a relationship is about sharing and that whilst you don't want to pry, hope in love with him and want to be closer emotionally to him.

GeorgeTheHamster · 22/02/2017 16:40

You can't "help him and motivate him more and build him etc."
HTH.

angieloumc · 22/02/2017 16:41

You're killing me OP the more you post. Honestly you sound like you're 12 or something. Grow up!

Emboo19 · 22/02/2017 16:42

Does he have his gcse's in maths and English C or above? What was he doing at college? Has he ever worked and if so doing what?
One of my friends is doing psychology at uni and she needed 3 a levels at A or above.

I still don't get if he's using savings, why a minimum wage job isn't better than nothing, surely if he's not claiming benefits as you say, any income would be good. A lot of manual jobs, labourers, some factory work in particular shift work etc, pay more than minimum wage.

TinfoilHattie · 22/02/2017 16:43

Why would someone who is comfortable with his lifestyle on his dodgy income be motivated to study? It's all shite. One of those who talks a good fight but does bugger all about it.

PrancerForHoney · 22/02/2017 16:45

My DH has a friend like this. He went back to college in September . He lasted six weeks because the establishment were obviously brain washing the students into becoming drones for the government etc etc. In reality he couldn't be arsed and still sits at home watching you tube conspiracy videos moaning about how he can't get on in life...and round and round the circle of self pitying goes.

Upyourdaisy · 22/02/2017 16:46

It sounds like because you think he's so good looking you think he's too good for you. You've got him up on a pedestal and you're ignoring everything that's pointing toward the obvious. When he falls, make sure he doesn't take you with him!

tripette · 22/02/2017 16:47

I realise that we've all rained on your parade big-style, OP, but even the psychology thing is absurd. Psychology is so over-subscribed that it is next to impossible to get a job in the field without a post-grad qualification. He's already told you that he's not cut out for retail because he'd lose his "temper and get sacked". Who the hell does he think he'd be working with as a psychologist? - people a lot more difficult and demanding than your average supermarket customer, that's for sure.

If he's thinking psychology would be a route into employment in a more general sense, then fine - but it sounds like hot air to me.

Original poster
mummytotwo2 · 22/02/2017 16:47

I noticed too on facebook when he posts about Donald Trump or posts about conspiracy stuff he has a lot of people asking more on the comments etc and telling him he is so right they seem really interested but they all seem to be women, they write to him and include kisses on the messages and stuff but he seems quite blunt and cold in replying to them but when he talks to me it seems more welcoming and more warm. But he doesn't talk to me about that stuff that much but i haven't told him i was interested in it because i don't know that much about it but these other women seem really into it but he treats them cold. What do you think?

OP posts:
Ellarose85 · 22/02/2017 16:49

I know this is the bottom of the pile of issues in this thread but isn't it Mum instead of Mom or is OP American?

Upyourdaisy · 22/02/2017 16:51

Why are you still asking for opinions? You're not listening to them arrrgghgh

tripette · 22/02/2017 16:51

...it's just occurred to me that steroid use is associated with psychosis as well as depression. That might be an explanation for his oh-so-mysterious "reserve" (paranoia), his low mood and his conspiracy theories (delusions). Just putting it out there.

You are being an absolute fool, OP. An absolute, grade-A fool.

user1485984489 · 22/02/2017 16:52

Um... just ask him if you're bothered about it.

Don't if you're not.

Surely?

JazzFunk · 22/02/2017 16:52

What do we think?

Seriously?

I think this thread is wasting hours of my life i'll never get back...

PoorYorick · 22/02/2017 16:53

What do you think?

Sorry, you want to know what we think?

tripette · 22/02/2017 16:53

What do we think?

That he's a wanker, and you're being an absolute eejit.

FontainaGrimbot · 22/02/2017 16:53

What do you think?

He is cheating on you.

Montane50 · 22/02/2017 16:54

I think if he does study psychology (never gonna happen), he'll have a great guinea pig op, because you truly are out of your tree Shock But seriously, please mn do not delete this thread! Its proper cheering me up Smile

MommaGee · 22/02/2017 16:55

I know this is the bottom of the pile of issues in this thread but isn't it Mum instead of Mom or is OP American?

Mom here in the Midlands thank you very much! Short version of Mother not MUther

MommaGee · 22/02/2017 16:56

I think if you share his instagram name we can help tell if any of the messages are untoward

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