I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

[mummytotwo2]

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

Serious comment though, on minimum wage...

My first jobs were minimum wage. I was young, inexperienced and still in education.

But I got promoted in those jobs (still low level and low pay) and that helped me to stand out when I finished education and applied for more jobs, based on career interests rather than "anything that pays the rent".

Now, I have an exciting job that I love, which is flexible - though as a PP says, all jobs have their dull moments. I also get paid above the national average wage. Not crazy money, but I'm paying higher rate tax.

What makes your gawjus man think he gets to skip straight to my current job without doing my first one?

If he is sooooooo clever not just lazy, why wouldn't he understand that each job is a building block to the next.

And saying he couldn't do customer facing work without losing his temper? Well, that's just a cuntish thing to say.

He wants him mum to be proud?

Get. A. Fucking. Job.

daisy lolololol

they don't really come to mine either..we just spend time together doing fun stuff and activities outside the home environment

Then.........

of course they've stayed over at my house when we have sex or a drink up etc haha but then they go home the next day or the day after. This guy does that, he stays the weekend or half the weekend sometimes then goes back. That's how i like it

Ellisandra To add to the min wage comments, I know a guy who is about to qualify as a doctor, having supported himself through medical school working as an HCA. On minimum wage.

Because, OP, grown-ups suck it the fuck up, and move onwards and upwards. They don't lie around whining about how the world owes them a living, and a BMW.

His ethnicity is relevant because you have people making borderline racist comments here also i described his friends because i was asked what his friends are like. Well my own brother is half black so i won't tolerate it..

'Borderline racist comments'! What? Where has anyone said that. You really are ridiculous.

Do you have a job op?

Ah. MW no good for his BMW?
Resisting the temptation to play benefits bingo here. Only just, mind.
So he wants to do X or Y? Are they vaguely realistic? Or unattainable? What effort has he made? Working for a low wage in a boring job doesn't interest anyone really. They do it because they need to. He needs to stop thinking he's a snowflake who is any different to everyone else. He could start with getting basic GCSEs at college.

Londonsburningahhhh hence why i said they don't really come, not that i NEVER have a boyfriend stay over the night. this man is more than welcome though i'd have him here every night if could and i'm always nudging him to come over week days but he never bites..

trilpette a Dr who's worked at a hca and therefore knows who does all the hard work is going to be a great doctor

When I'm ask to describe my friends, I never describe them by the colour of their skin.

I didn't see a single racist comment on here before you started on with it. Perhaps since - it's a long thread. But nothing before.

And you still haven't told me: why not make him tell you where his money comes from?

Triplettecyour friend the HCA/doctor sounds like a loser.

Bet he doesn't look good in trackers, or having a BMW.

OP you're funny. A few posts ago you said you feel smothered having a man round and need 'me space' (whatever that is), now you're saying you'd have him round every day.
Don't you read what you've put before?

So he can't even be arsed to see you weeknights?

Why are you bothering with him?

He's scum, and in top of that scum that doesn't even want to see you!

I thought you said it was a BMW?

Momma Yep, he's a lovely guy, he'll be great. (Not too proud to do a frequently grim and thankless job...unlike some).

That's how i like it, i can't stand being smothered and having a man round the house all day. Need me space

this man is more than welcome though i'd have him here every night if could and i'm always nudging him to come over

Firstly, make your mind up.
Secondly, try sounding less desperate
Thirdly, you know barely anything about him but you'd have him round your kids full time if he would?
Fourthly, my friends are funny, silly, hard working, annoying, loyal, etc. They are not brown, pink, green, yellow, orange. Not a single person asked about his or anyone else's race. Please provide at least one quote.
Fifthly, I gave a whole message of advice on helping him achieve his aspirations and bate his depression. But no comment from you. So you don't want advice or help on that. You want to boast that Wentworth is hot in the sack and lets you be the lucky girl

Sounds to me like he's got another woman on the go, what with him ignoring your 'nudging' about week days. Either that or that's when he gets his 'money' by clearly illegal ways.

angieloumc yup Elisandra and others are implying that he must use words like 'init' and 'baby mama'. If he was white would they assume the same thing?

I have already stated that this man is articulate and quite bright but can speak with slang when he needs it yet some here are insisting he has a limited vocabulary and must be thick because of his background, and they are implying he is a total thug/gangsta or something. It's ridiculous. Just because someone was brought up around that or has some of that influence it doesn't mean that's their character so i'm sorry but it is judgemental and has racist under tones.

Ellisandra Hahaha - the funny thing is, he's really into sport as well - he works, studies and keeps fit! Pretty sure he doesn't have a BMW though, or believe in conspiracy theories. Yeah. On balance, he's totes a loser. Must warn his other half.

No it doesn't have racist undertones at all.
Besides, those comments were made before you said he was 'mixed' as you nicely put it.

why would i kick him to the curb?

Well, I think you might have had a few valid reasons put to you here... But you're ignoring them all.

I'm nominating this thread for classics

Its language that young people use until they grow up and have to sound like an adult in the working place.