I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

[mummytotwo2]

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

OP you are deluded.
You seem to be taking any negative comments about this bloke as a slight against your background, as you have the same 'roots'.
He needs motivation and a push? Aren't his children enough motivation to get off his arse and work like most people, to provide consistently for them, to teach them a work ethic? Did you need someone standing over you telling you to get a job and go to college, or did you just do it as you are an adult ?(and not too busy on google reading conspiracy shite).

When your friend said "bloody hell where did you get him from" she means "How did you get mixed up with this tosser"

Op I grew up on a council estate, my Dad WORKED! His motivation was being a good Dad. You say "he needs motivation" but he has that - kids, his mom etc. He doesn't work cos it's a conspiracy man, the men in suits are out to get Him blah blah blah. Tell him that good dads work or at least try or else they're sahd 's. They don't spend half their life in the gym and half on their arse.

He's lying by omission.

And ooh he's got a good body and that takes SO MUCH HARD WORK!!!! It does, but it hardly speaks for his character does it. And it may be all steroids for all you know

So this amazing guy who lies to you, who refuses over a whole year to even open up to you, who doesn't even TRY to work to support his kids, who had mouths their mom in front of them but is ooh so hot in his hoodie??

What are we missing OP other than the size of his penis muscles

How the fuck did he improve himself?
By not working and going to the gym all day?
By having money you don't know where it comes for?
How did he educate himself? Google university?
Fucks sake ofc being a drug dealer means he's scum...it's illegal,dangerous and ruining lives.
How stupid can one person be?

If you were my daughter I'd be telling you to run for the hills.

So tell us, OP, how exactly do you think this plastic gangsta muppet is going to demonstrate his 'potential'?

I'm just so glad I get to go to work and pay my taxes so that he gets all that lovely free time to 'work' on his body. Lucky boy! I have to fit my own work-outs around my job and other responsibilities, you know, like an actual grown-up.

Seriously, in the face of some pretty stiff competition, this is one of the most idiotic threads I've ever read on here. You can't possibly be for real, nobody can be this stupid. I'm done.

I would have an awesome body if I spent all my time at the gym.

I don't though - because I work.

You can defend him all you like love, bottom line - you know his money is from criminal activity, because you know he feeds you bullshit when you ask.

He didn't save it up from his old job stacking shelves at Asda, did he?

Btw - me: council estate, poor, worked in Asda. I'm all for "improving" oneself, just don't see HOW he's done that.

Tell me that you don't think his money is from crime.

For the love of god woman grow up! My 12 year old DD is more mature than you and would see this man for what he is. Are you really that desperate?

Stop trying to convice us. We all think he's a tosser. Why do you keep posting if you are so certain he's such a catch?

It sounds to me like your gut is screaming at you to run but you are trying to convince yourself (and us ) to stay?

But he's not intelligent, or educated, nor has he any actual demonstrated impetus to improve his lot.

You're acting like a 13 year old with her first boyfriend when her parents say to stay away. The money and the notoriety appeal, and you couldn't actually give a toss where the money for your next tat comes from. Oh well, at least you'll blend in at visiting time.

If he's participating in illegal activities, then yes I would write him off. And that's not a class thing or being snobby.
If you're happy with a drug dealer or theif as a boyfriend op, then that's your choice. I just hope for your children's sake it doesn't come back to bite you.
My boyfriend works 50+ hours a week and he manages to go to the gym, he's also pretty damn hot, even if I do say so myself! Plus he's got tattoos and buys me pretty things

Don't sweat it op, imaginary men can be a PITA like that.

Honestly you sound quite tragic OP.

The more you post the more cringe there is!

Do you not find your posts embarrassing when you read them back?

He just messaged me as i've called him twice and he always pics up but today he didn't.

he said: "sorry i missed the call earlier been mad busy it's been a hectic one, tired now will phone tomorrow"

when i replied "busy with what"

he said: "You know how it is, dealing with the pressures of life"

What does that mean? He never directly answers things or be's clear about anything.

It's like shouting into a black hole.

Aren't you embarrassed about the things you're saying on here? Seriously what would you say to your daughter if she was with a bloke like this?
Though it does sound like you deserve each other; him with his criminal activities looking hot in his 'trackies' and you with your hinting about getting presents and not minding if he slags off the mother of his kids. Can you imagine what he'll say about you in a few months time?

when i replied "busy with what"

he said: "You know how it is, dealing with the pressures of life"

You say" oh does that mean you've found work? That's great! "
And e what he says

Just ask him, if he's a drug dealer op. It doesn't sound like it would be a deal breaker for you anyway and at least you'd know where you stand and could start planning how to spend all that lovely illegally gained money!!

Agree that this is dodgy as hell and you are being naive.

IMO the not owning house, car etc is also dodgy. I knew of someone (married into our family) who owned none of that in this country (but several houses in other countries) to stay 'off the system' here so he avoided tax as he didn't officially exist here. Didn't work as they eventually caught up with him and he had a £70k tax bill. Also he had a passport which must have outed him. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer!

He's dealing alright but not with the pressures of life

He never directly answers things - same as you then!

Well, this thread has been entertaining. Thanks OP.

Also he has invested nothing into your relationship but you've told him everything and he is buying stuff for your kids etc.

You don't know a single thing about him. What he does in the day. Where he goes. If he works.

My guess is one day he will just move on and you will be so lost after giving so much of yourself. That's if something bad hasn't happened in the meantime.

"look baby I don't care if the money you have saved is from something dodgy () as long as you keep looking hot and buying me stuff but I do feel like I need more from you in terms of sharing. I need you to be honest about where the money came from and whether you ever intend to get off your arse and work() . I won't judge you because I know lots of people have to resort to crime () and its like totally hot that you're a bad boy but I want you to open up more "