I don't know where my boyfriend gets his money from??

[mummytotwo2]

Hi, i have been seeing a guy i met from instagram for 3 months now, everything has been great with this guy we became like best friends in an instant. He has met my kids and I've met his. He was friends with my sister but we had never met before until we started talking on IG. (he added me on there as he had my sister on there already)

One thing i'm curious about with him is that he NEVER goes into any detail about his life/background and he doesn't have a job but always seem to have money to take me out. He buys me gifts out of the blue sometimes if he's passing a shop where he sees something i'd mentioned i like but can't afford he just buys it me and gives it to me next time i see him. He bought my eldest daughter a new coat for school, he is always buying himself new things too, the other day he had two new tattoos done and i know they weren't cheap i asked him how much he paid for the latest big piece he had done he just said "does it matter".

all he says to me is that he's looking for a job but needs to be motivated to do a job otherwise he gets bored too quickly. Anything around money/income/job he just sort of brushes it off and laughs, like i went to pay for a cab we took into town last week and he said it doesn't matter he will pay and then i jokingly said to him "Oh you're loaded aren't you so it doesn't matter" but again he just laughs and says something like "well it's better to have money than not isn't it"

He very rarely tells me anything about his family outside of his children. He always keeps saying how life is stressful and how he gets depressed but i can't help him much because i just can't see what he is depressed about! he won't open up at all.

the reason i am interested about this is because i have basically opened up to him about every single personal and private thing i have been through and he's been so understanding and supportive and has never judged me for any of it, yet he himself hardly tells me anything about his life or about his current circumstances (plans for the future, etc)

am i just being overly nosey here or is it normal for a man to be this reserved about himself?

Are you just hanging around waiting for the "next" surprise?

This thread exists so this daft woman can talk about how great her arsewipe of a boyfriend is

Sad

It's like watching stupidity on a loop

You say you're bothered by the mystery of his money, then admit that what you like is his money and mystery.

I don't think there's much else we can advise.

Have you googled his name OP? to see what comes up?

No he said that he has some cash saved up from before which is how he pays for things...

From before what exactly?

Before pirates were outlawed?

Before the gold rush?

Before the Nazis hid all their gold in Swiss banks?

He doesn't answer a straight question.

No i'm saying where he gets his money from is part of the problem with him not opening up. It seems to be the main thing about him that he won't reveal about himself and i'm wondering if it's normal for a man to be reserved about many things including his income. It's not like if he admits he gets money from a dodgy way i am going to dump him on the spot but i feel like he thinks i will do that or he thinks i will disapprove of it. But he knows i'm not from a sheltered background that would judge him for having a dodgy past so i don't know whats stopping him from being open with me.

he said that just because the daily mail and government said it's proper and right to work just for the sake of working doesn't make it true

stop letting society make judgements on poor people, single moms, those on benefits etc

So he's fierce about standing up for people on benefits....but people working and paying taxes are just robots in the system...

...how does he think these benefits are paid for? 😂😂😂

Dodgy past? He's got a dodgy present.

This thread gets weirder and weirder.

What exactly is an awakening process please? 😂😂😂

also my kids are completely separate from my love live. I am not moving in with this man and having him live with me and my kids. I'm not looking for a father for my kids and i'm not expecting him to provide for them or babysit them or anything of the kind. I have lived independently for years and had boyfriends during that time. It seems like ppl are thinking i'm a bad mom for introducing my kids to boyfriends but the two are separate issues in my mind. My kids have known most of my bf's as friends first and foremost and then if it develops into more it kind of develops naturally i don't have to sit my kids down and say "here's my new boyfriend he's going to be living here" It's just never worked like that. My bfs are hardly even ever around my kids unless they've stayed over on the odd school night which is rare in itself..

What do you think of what everyone is saying to you? You don't seem to be responding to that, just giving more examples of why you think he is so amazing.

Bluntness100 he calls it the awakening process its something to do with becoming aware of how the world/system works etc part of the conspiracy theory stuff i'm not too up to speed on it myself lol

What's your theory op?

i'm wondering if it's normal for a man to be reserved about many things including his income.

It's not like if he admits he gets money from a dodgy way i am going to dump him on the spot

This is abundantly clear.

Gottabeyou i think what most people are saying is that if he admits to be involved in something dodgy i should leave him on the spot? personally i disagree with that but i understand what they mean. To me you can't judge someone because of their past, because of some bad choices, because they are unemployed whatever. You have to go by their character and how they are as a person. I would never ever turn down a man because he didn't have a job, a car, a house, money etc it's what's inside that counts. I've always thought like that.

OP, you are obviously smitten. Nothing everyone anyone here says seems to be giving you second thoughts.
So, I'd just suggest that you keep up a guard until you know him much, much better.
And in answer to your original question - no, his behaviour is not normal.

he calls it the awakening process its something to do with becoming aware of how the world/system works etc part of the conspiracy theory stuff

He's happy to benefit from it with expensive clothes and meals out though, isn't he?

I would never ever turn down a man because he didn't have a job, a car, a house, money etc

So what would you do if he told you he was an insurance broker and stopped buying you piercings and dresses?

And in answer to your original question, no, not knowing how your materialistic boyfriend earns his money isn't normal.

Credit cards and he is shit with money ... run !!!

He has told me she was "useless"

Besides the fact that he is most probably a drug dealer...

It's disrespectful as fuck to speak about the mother of your kids that way.

He sounds like an arsehole.

You have to go by their character and how they are as a person.

That's what everyone on this thread is trying to tell you.

He told me she knows she made the biggest mistake ever and she'll have to live with it.

I fucking doubt it.

So you ask if it's normal.

No it's not normal.

If every single MNer on here replies to tell you that no, the way he behaves is not normal, will you listen?

He is emotionally unavailable, won't disclose his profession, works cash in hand, has no bank account, slags off the mother of his children, has her there with the two of you when she is still in love with him, buys expensive clothes and meals while denigrating capitalism and "the system", is a paranoid tinfoil hat twat and uses the phrase "awakening process" apparently without irony.

OP, please. He is not some mysterious, romantic pioneer of the New World. He's a low life idiot and likely criminal who surrounds himself with people who can't follow his verbal diarrhoea and like the shiny stuff.

If you want to continue this relationship (and we all know you will) then fine, it's your business, but don't be surprised when HMRC is on his arse and the piercings and dresses come to an abrupt halt. That'll be your chance to prove the pure, spiritual nature of your love for him, I guess.

he said that just because the daily mail and government said it's proper and right to work just for the sake of working doesn't make it true

Well he must have great insight as he specifically mentioned the Mail