Feeling pressured into sex - new relationship.

[FeelingPressured]

I have been seeing this guy for 6 weeks, we met online and everything seemed to be going great. He is a lovely guy, funny, kind but we have started to have an issue recently. He lives with his family and I live with my family, and so far I haven't felt comfortable enough to have sex with him. I find it awkward being in other peoples houses where they could potentially hear etc and for the first time I would rather us be on our own.

It started a couple of weeks ago when we both got slightly drunk. I ended up going back to his and we did things but I stopped it because we didn't have protection and neither of us had been tested at that point. This was fine. Another time I went back to his again and he started initiating on the sofa, to which I started then stopped as I had to get home to my toddler.

Late last night he instigated again on the family sofa. We started things and again I said no because I had to get back to my own home to get up for my 2 year old toddler. Not only that but I also felt awkward in his family home, on his sofa or in his room with all his family milling around. I've only known the guy 6 weeks.

I suggested we go away at the weekend so we can be alone and I won't have any responsibilities e.g. having to get up early, work etc.

After I left his last night he sent me a text saying he didn't want to see me again because I clearly wasn't comfortable with him and it was just getting frustrating for him. I tried to explain that it wasn't a case of not being comfortable, it's just been unfavourable circumstances coupled with me coming out of a very bad relationship recently.

Should I contact him again and try to resolve this? Am I being unreasonable to think he's being quite shallow and focusing too much on sex? I do feel like I had led him on those 3 times, but I feel like he should be understanding given the aforementioned circumstances. I feel like if he genuinely liked my personality (like I do with him) he wouldn't mind waiting until the circumstances were right for both of us.

What would you do?

yuck. if he can't respect you and your perfectly valid reasons please respect yourself and sack him off. it will be no skin off your nose by next week.

Sounds like he would have done it anyway even if you had sex. See it as a lucky escape

Thank you for all of your replies. I actually feel really good about everything now, especially since he tried to text me yesterday and I was able to give him the cold shoulder

Anyone who is worth my time (or any woman's) would be happy to wait until we were both comfortable, and not try to make anyone feel guilty or bad for saying no!

Well done. It's far better to be single for a bit than with someone that doesn't make you feel good.

In fact ime it's when you are really comfortable being single that you attract decent partners.

Do look into the freedom programme. It's great.

especially since he tried to text me yesterday

Ah. As predicted. Twats use similar patterns.
Good for you for giving him the cold shoulder.

yes he probably thought having shown you who was boss you'd be desperate to get the prize catch back :)

Well done OP

Good on you. He's just after a shag, and doesn't matter where.

I think that he should have been glad that the girl he likes has good standards. What your gut reaction was telling you was spot on. Not exactly romantic scenario was it?! Afterwards, you made a really good suggestion to resolve the situation yet he got pissed off! Unbelievable, but it tells you something about him caring more about sex than you. You've had a lucky escape!

especially since he tried to text me yesterday

Sounds a bit like a friend of mine from when I was about 20. His GF wouldn't shag him so he dumped her, expecting that she beg him to come back and offer what he was after to make it happen.

Funnily enough I'd fancied her for a while and when he dumped her I asked her out and we dated for a few weeks. Alas he was mightily pissed off with me for messing up his schemes.

Once we got to know each other it was clear we weren't compatible and we didn't date for long. I'd not know of his plans when I asked her out but when he confronted me we had a bit of a set to about it. She initially was a bit smug about having 2 guys fighting over her until she found out the full story. They didn't get back together.