Seen a dubious message..

[ughwhattodo]

Well there I am enjoying my breakfast with DH and he gets up to go finish getting ready for work.
The next minute his phone dings and automatically my eye is drawn to it (reflex thing, honestly I wasn't snooping it was right next to me)
And there's a message showing on the screen from 'Z' saying
"Are you really happy with your life the way it is...?"

He's gone to work now and I can't stop thinking about it. No, I didn't say anything to him as I was a bit shocked/confused.
The fact he has someone's number saved as just 'Z' is a bit strange to start with and then asking such a personal question....

To be honest it's felt a bit different recently but I'm not sure if now I'm overthinking things. We are newlyish married (nearly a year)

Any advice?? It's weird isn't it

Don't let him drag it out, convince you or anything else. He has previous even if he didn't fuck them he cheated by intimate messages. Just walk, save yourself the inevitable months of dragged out pain and then either splitting up AFTER the long painful relationship death or forgiving him, getting convinced it's your fault and always feeling paranoid and off kilter.

Just go. Twat

Ps wish to buggery someone had given me that advice, I went with the goody two shoes of asking nicely, cue wiped phone and months of "I didn't do anything". Now separated considering reconciliation but I will never ever completely get that trust back again nor will I ever know if it did or didn't happen.

Not worth it honestly!

Sorry op, must be a shock

I think you need some space and time to figure out your next move.

Sorry OP - like you said he is now minimising and trying to turn it round on you. What a bastard.

You know this is bullshit. Don't fall for it.

You deserve better - he's got previous and will keep on doing it. Don't stand for it, you are worth so much more than that.

Why do you have to leave? Cant he fuck off?

Gosh OP- I am so sorry to read this. I had hoped this was just a spam type of text.

Don't rush yourself into decisions now-breathe-rest and then think it all through. Can you ask him to stay elsewhere for a few days?

what a massive idiot fucking arsehole.

may the truth set you free OP

Have you googled the number? If it's spam it should come up

Apologies, just read the rest of the thread

"Not trusting him"

I am about to fall off my chair laughing.

I have to send texts to customers through work (not spam, updates they want). When we text them it comes up with a company name and no number. So they know it's us but they don't have a reply number. So it would look like a saved contact but it's not

Walk away from him OP you said you've been married less than a year and he's cheating with 2 other women!
He's obviously someone who isn't able to commit to one person and I doubt that would ever change.

This man does not deserve your love,trust or anymore of your time!
I'd be divorcing the Bastard and getting all the proof I could getting a good solicitor and taking the Arse to the cleaners.

I hope you have good friends and family around you for support

So sorry to hear this OP but I must praise you for being so diligent in finding out the truth. Rather than just letting it go and allowing the unknown to torture you, you took the matter into your own hands and now know the truth. You are very brave and the next step is clear. All the best

It sounds like a telemarketing thing to be honest.

Sorry, just read your update. Best wishes 💐

Thinking of you OP.

Shit. I am definitely not a LTB in the face of some fidelity but this sounds serial. As you know, and he knows that you know, how you behave now is incredibly important. If you stay he knows he can do it but, much more importantly, you have to live with that decision. Are you tough enough to brazen it out? I am not sure I could be and a little part of me would die.

You did not do this, he did. It's not a human mistake, he is actively feeling unhappy and looking elsewhere, often. How much do you love him?

I would ask for your post to be moved to the Relationships board.

I am so sorry this has happened. Don't make any hasty decisions about anything, but you might want to ask him to leave for a few days to give you space to think.

So sorry to hear this OP, bloody heartbreaking for you but IMO you deserve better SO much better, if he's done this now then i can only imagine the angst any future together would hold . You are brave, smart and will heal from this, he needs to go.

What a twat. The same old fucking script: he's been found out so he's minimising. Next it'll be your fault because, I dunno, you work too hard or you didn't put out one Thursday last September.

Fuck him. You haven't been married long. Do you want to be worrying about this for the rest of your life? Fuck him off and get yourself a better life.

So sorry op.

The saved thing ran alarm bells. I got some mystery texts from wrong number for a while but would never save to contacts - makes no sense. Men at my old work would cheat and once a cheat always a cheat and they would lie lie lie to their wives. We felt so sorry for the wives.

Oh fuck

Get this moved to relationships- masses of support over there

sorry to hear that OP.

I agree with the others, you've only been married a year and he has an eye out elsewhere already. TWO women (one is still bad though). You're not enough for him and that's his failing, his shortcoming, not yours.

Oh shit. I am so sorry to read that. What an absolute cunt he is. This is not your fault at all!

You're not weak you're just in shock. You don't have to make decisions right away give yourself time to process it all and a bit of time to prepare for the shitstorm to come. Good luck