Brave Babes - reconvene here!!!

[dementedma]

Hi all
We seem to have finished the last thread but no-one has done a new one. Don't get lost! Gather here until we can sort it out.

Morning everyone,
just a quick one, won't NC everybody but I have read the posts. Had a painful night and have a lot of washing to do today, thought periods were supposed to come to an end - bed looks like a murder has been committed (sorry, sorry TMI)

Flowerey hope you manage to put things right with DH, Sweet you are doing great, Sober might get my eyebrows done today too.
Ma snow? We were promised it too but no sign.

Hope everyone else is ok and will catch up properly later.

Hi everyone,

I went out for dinner with a friend last night - she is very sensible and non-obsessed about drinking, so she had a beer and a glass of wine and I had two glasses of wine. Because I was relatively sober and really thinking about what I was drinking for once, I tried to analyze what was happening in my body and my head during the evening.

When I was getting to the end of the second glass, and I knew she wouldn't order any more booze and I didn't want to if she didn't, I felt this wave of sheer panic rise up in me, I so desperately wanted more but I knew it would make me look desperate if I ordered more. Literally my entire body and mind was shouting, luckily not out loud, for more booze. If I had been with someone less sensible who had suggested more booze, dodgy bars and clubbing until 6am I truly believe I would have done all that, despite knowing that I've got work, DCs and loads of other stuff to deal with today. I would have pressed the fuck it switch and headed for oblivion.

So my conclusion is that I am fine not drinking, but once even a sip passes my lips, it takes every ounce of willpower and self-control not to keep going until I can't remember my name. Is that addiction? The reality is that I will never be a "two glasses and stop" kind of girl, despite desperately wanting to be.

Margie Yep, that's me too. I don't think it's addiction as such because we can go alcohol free whether that's for days or months.
I totally get the wanting more and more in the moment, I've had nights when the wine is finished that I've scrabbled around looking for anything to drink.
It's a weird one isn't it. I think I could be the same with food to a point only my stomach can only take so much and I have to stop, drink is a little different.

I do wonder about people like your friend, how come they have an off switch and I don't?
On the other hand, why do some people like bananas and others hate them? Why are some people neat and others messy?
It's all so complicated.

Morning luxe 😀
Margie yip me too. However I find if I get rid of the taste of wine from my mouth i.e. drink a soft drink then I can usually stop . not that it happens very often
It's once I get a taste for wine then I find it very hard. Strangely it's only wine if I drink gin I stop at 2 and I don't like any other spirits or beer🤔🤔
I wish that I could understand it

Yes me too Sober it is wine, I can happily have 2 or 3 gins or 2 bottles of lager and leave it there. Wine? NOT A HOPE!

There is a possibility though that we overthink it, maybe wine is simply just moreish, easier to glug down.

I can happily munch my way through a family sharing bag of Kettle chips (wine) but as much as I love peanuts (gin) I simply can't eat a huge bag, a small bowl (glass or two) is plenty for me and I 'll thoroughly enjoy them but they are not so moreish to me, they're more satisfying.

Wine is delicious, it just is. There lies the danger for me at least.

said it before
yes yes yes stupid stupid stupid wine!!

Thanks Lux and Tis, good to know I'm not the only one. I've spent so long wishing I was like other people who drink normally but the reality is that I don't, and I won't ever be like them. I just find that so so sad.

How are you doing today Elba? Hope your knee is a bit better today Ma?

Happy Friday to all babes - waves to Flowery, 42, Dubh, Dave, Sweet, Fox, Spanna, Venus, Baby, all lurkers, all newbies and everyone else I've forgotten.

Hi Margie, you could be describing me in your post upthread. I have one friend and we can share quite happily one bottle of red and that would be us for the night, the other friend we could sit drinking all night with no finger on the stop button :(

Waves to all babes, been lurking but not posting.

Ma, how is Richard these days?

Wow it's busy in here! Loving the menagerie in the bus .

Been to two AA meetings this week and would like to go to more. They are cool. After years of wondering if I had a problem it's a relief in a way to admit yes, I do. It means there's a door I can walk through... things will be different. Hope.

My key worker has applied for my detox place so I should be going soon. I talked to her about my work worries and she reassured me and said I could deal with it once I have an appointment or date. Before that, it's all just pointless anxiety and what ifs and maybes. So I may be going to detox soon and will be away for two weeks. No internet!!!

But peace, and freedom maybe?

Still drinking... but now kind of hating it, resenting it...

Elf wow, that's so great, and to see you think the meetings are cool too.
I'm really happy for you, sounds like you are in the right mind set, and I hope it all goes to plan, really I do.

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all well, I'm curled up with a mug of tea and painkillers. Should feel much better tomorrow.

I have a date! OMG!!!!

The start of a whole new chapter maybe? I'm scared, but also excited...

Exciting Elf this is your step towards freedom. It's massive and wonderful.
No internet though?

I know!! I might be more addicted to the internet than alcohol (or at least equally!). Will probs do me some good. I'm going to take a notebook and pen, and some drawing/painting stuff with me - reconnect with my creative side (when not sleeping obvs). Am really scared... but also hugely excited as this means freedom I think.

Good luck elf ......come back and let us know how you get on

Well done elf on the detox and the date!!!!
Obrigada he is doing really well and back on track (for now). Doctor is pleased with his progress and he is trying to stay positive.
I have treated myself to some more Nip and Fab face stuff, it's all half price in Boots just now. Got the Dragon Blood moisture face pack and will report back. I blame this on lux
< removes baby orang utan from seat and sits down>

Happy to take the blame for your gorgeousness ma

That's great to hear Richard is doing well, such a relief for you.

I may give in to a G & T tonight, just to relax my cramps, but gin I can cope with and walk away from.
I am looking forward to my clean bed and pyjamas. I've done a great deal of organising today which makes me happy.
Hope everyone else has a very good evening.

Hey lovely ladies.

I apologised a lot... eventually. I don't even remember most of the argument but I decided to delete and block him off Facebook and sent abusive messages so it wasn't my shining moment. I wasn't in the right place to drink I don't think plus I'd not eaten all day poor sod shouldn't put up with me but I'd be lost without him.

Elf go you with your date. Do you have a venue decided yet? I love a good first date story. Congrats with the aa aswell, you're so strong doing that with the meetings and detox.

waves to everyone I'm away to grovel more to dh, we nearly went off the road in the car tonight with all the kids in it so he needs a pick me up, poor guys exhausted and with the snow must have zoned out and nearly went off the road, so glad I was awake to shake his arm to bring him back. He's beating himself up but he's shattered. Still a bit shaken but I'm obviously blaming myself for stressing him out so much.

Elf I thought you meant a date for detox?

So did I ....did I get it wrong 😳

I think it's maybe me that's read it wrong...

Hee I think flowery made a mistake, it is a detox date I think anyway

Crap. I thought it was a shag date too. Disappointing!

Elf has a DH

Ma really glad it wasn't just me