I've posted about this before only under another name. If you've read this previously then I'm sorry if I'm boring anyone to death....so here goes:
In our 50s, 2nd marriage of 14 years. First 2 -3 years of marriage were fantastic and I thought , somewhat naively, I'd met my "soul mate". He was fantastic in helping me bring up my teenage children, for which I will always be grateful. They are grown up now.
About ten years ago, I had a gut feeling things weren't right. We'd been through a lot of stress with my children, H's job and my dad was terminally ill. H was snappy and seemed disinterested in me. I've never snooped before but I looked in his wallet and found a "no strings " sex website written down. I confronted him and he said it must've "fell" in his wallet off his computer screen ( one of his colleagues had stuck it there as a joke). When I pointed out it was in his hand writing he told me he was looking at a friend's fwb profile. When I didn't believe that he admitted he hadn't looked at website but copied it down out of curiosity. My dad died 2 days later so I "parked" that but if ever I brought it up he was very annoyed.
So the last ten years...... I love my H dearly. He's kind to animals, caring to his elderly parents, makes me laugh. However, he won't go on holidays as he says he's too stressed with work. We haven't been for even a weekend away. I must admit I've resented this and I've communicated this to him and he always says " there'll be time for us in the future " . I haven't moped about and I have had fantastic holidays over the years with friends and family. I have a great social life and a wonderful job. The only thing missing in my life is being made to feel special by my H. He works away and when he's at home he's often working on his laptop at the weekends or visiting his elderly parents. In my heart, I know things haven't been right and I've tried to talk to him and even write to him but nothing has changed despite him saying he put more time into our marriage.
The last six months I thought things were improving as we started going to the gym together and going for meals. In November however, my son was looking in the garage and my H's bag toppled over ( his car was being serviced so he'd put contents of boot in the garage) and out fell condoms ( in date) and viagra. I made a frenzied search of another bag and I found a different make of condom which was obviously from a multi pack. Confronted H and he nonchalantly said " oh I should have thrown them away " . He then said he'd bought them for my son - lies. He then expected me to believe he'd pressed the wrong button on the machine!! The viagra he said didn't work as he'd tried one , on his own, out of interest, so it was a fake pub machine one.A week later he admitted he'd wanted sex with someone else but didn't do it.........
So, I don't know about you but would you believe a man would go to the trouble of buying condoms on 2 different occasions plus viagra without a plan or a particular woman, be it a work colleague or an escort in mind? This is the story he's sticking to after all these weeks and he will not say anything apart from "I didn't go through with it" and " I had no one in mind". He acts like I'm crazy woman not believing him. Please could you give me your honest opinion? I intend to show him this thread.