Crushes: A Poll, Of Sorts

[NotQuiteCockney]

Do you get crushes?

And if you do, what do you do about them?

And whether you do or not, does your DP/DH get them, that you know of?

I've always been of the 'don't ask, don't tell' school about these things, but DH thinks they should be discussed ... of course, he doesn't seem to get crushes himself, so really that means he thinks I should share mine with him. I am about the whole thing.

I do and I don't say. If I did dh would take the p* which would ruin the fun of it. And if he does he doesn't tell me - I'd get paranoid and huffy if he did.

I get them but don't tell anyone except my best pal who merrily slags me off no end!

I would be surprised if dh gets them. I ask him all the time about it and I would mind but he is so unaffected by everything

meant I WOULDN"T mind

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I think I mostly mean RL ones. Celebrity ones are a bit different, I think.

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Ah, see, I'm not very good at enjoying these things. Well, if the crush is very much From a Distance, it's easy to enjoy, but if it's someone I see regularly, it often makes me uneasy and uncomfortable.

Wouldn't it take away the secret pleasure of a crush if someone else knows? Anyway, I find that crushes tend to wear off quite quickly so there's not much point in discussing them. Actually, now that I come to think of it, I haven't fancied/had a crush on anyone in rl since we got ds. I think I'm just too tired.

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I think crushes are VERY dangerous, as its not hard for it to turn into something more, specially if it is someone you know well or see regularly...sometimes they can be good because when you get over it you appreciate your DH more!

Hmmm, see I generally want to know if the attraction is returned, and waste a lot of time and energy on it when it doesn't actually matter as I'm not about to do anything about it.

And I'd be nervous knowing it was reciprocated, as lots of people have different ideas about fidelity, don't they?

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So nobody ever discusses these things with their DH/DP?

I discuss celeb crushes. DP very kindly tells me if Alan Rickman is on the telly, for instance.

I'm not sure I come into enough contact with Real People to develop crushes on them. Must get out more.

My husband knows that I am the real MrsLukafrom ER.

Oh, yes, discussing sleb crushes is Another Thing Altogether. My DH knows how I feel about Philip Seymour Hoffman, always has.

No. Not since dh went off his medication and spent a day accusing me of sleeping with men I had literally not even shaken hands with.

I do get crushes but they are nothing like as intrusive as the ones I used to get while married to my xh. Although even those died a death pretty fast, and I learned to just enjoy them. You've got to have a reason to go to work, haven't you?

I do think they are a slight danger signal but only a very distant one.

I haven't gotten a crush on anyone who wasn't a celeb or a fictional character, though, tbh.

Hmm, I've never had a relationship without crushes. Well, maybe the first few weeks or months of a relationship, but after that ...

I do have crushes, but not on anyone I know.

I like crushes - they can make everyday life just a leeeeeeeetle bit more interesting.

I'm sure dh has them too but we don't discuss them.

I only have sleb crushes.

But then, I live in Medway. It's difficult to have crushes on any of the neighbours, with the best will in the world...

They are great. Nothing like a crush on someone completely inappropriate to brighten one's day.

I think that crushes have potential to be dangerous.

I can't think of any I've had on rl people though and don't know if dh has, but we certainly don't discuss it.

Now that I think about it, I have had one crush that I told dh about, at least I mentioned to dh that this guy was the most fanciable man in the room, or indeed any room anywhere on earth. I may not even be over it as I know if there was a party that he was going to be at I would make every effort to go, whereas I normally do my best to get out of going. But I think it's safe enough as he's so far out of my league that it's much the same as a celebrity crush.