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Original poster

Crushes: A Poll, Of Sorts

132 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 25/02/2007 19:08

Do you get crushes?

And if you do, what do you do about them?

And whether you do or not, does your DP/DH get them, that you know of?

I've always been of the 'don't ask, don't tell' school about these things, but DH thinks they should be discussed ... of course, he doesn't seem to get crushes himself, so really that means he thinks I should share mine with him. I am about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 07:37

Damn, bran, I was just telling DH that he was an unmitigated freak for wanting me to tell him about these sorts of things. (And I do get quite a few crushes, on actual people. A couple a year? Maybe? Depending on who I meet etc etc.)

Unfortunately, I was obliged to tell him about the current crush because I (stupidly) had apparently told him at one point that this particular bloke was cute, or attractive, or flirtatious or something.

I just find the whole thing . I don't generally discuss my crushes with anyone. Discussing it with DH was just horrible.

And then he kept asking questions. Like 'does he know?'. Yes, of course, once I get a crush, I must immediately tell the person all about it. Because that's not inappropriate, stupid or weird. 'Does he feel the same way?'. I have no bloody clue. Nor do I really want to know, tbh.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2007 08:01

Dh usually knows when I have a crush on someone because I am so patently transparent

oh and the fact I tend to leave photos of them on the computer where he can find them

FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2007 08:02

oops I just got married, while I wasn't looking, apparently

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 08:05

Congratulations on the sudden marriage!

I think I am pretty transparent, too, but because DH doesn't get crushes himself, I don't think he's ever really noticed a crush of mine before. He only twigged this time because I apparently said something odd about this person before.

(I have no pictures of this, or any crushee, I don't think, which keeps things simple.)

I can see a case for the whole 'honesty communication blah blah blah' thing, I just don't really buy it. Personally.

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2007 08:08

I was swopping pictures of mine with HC which is how I got caught

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 08:09

Hmmm. I don't really think sneaking up on people and taking pictures of them is the most subtle way to go around having a crush. All things considered.

Did your new husband mock you for the crush?

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FrannyandZooey · 27/02/2007 08:11

he is an ex, who has pictures of himself all over the net anyway

I did once pay a friend to take photos of my crush

but I was 14

Did he mock me? Does the pope have a balcony?

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 08:54

Ah, see, I didn't get mocked. Which given how much DH generally mocks me (and everyone) made it all the weirder.

I could find and send out pictures of some of my exes, but it would just seem like I was trying to be threatening or something.

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Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 08:56

No, I lie, I just found some pictures online of an attractive ex. Well, if you have a nose thing, anyway.

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Bucketsofdynomite · 27/02/2007 09:02

I really clicked with a guy I temped with, so much so I felt it was becoming so obvious that I had to consciously tone it down and start hiding in my little office more often. Couldn't stand the idea of his colleagues talking about it or teasing him about me when I wasn't there. If we were both single, people would have been planning our wedding we got on so well.
Never told DH but still imagine bumping into him if I'm near that office (he probably left years ago though LOL).

hockeypuck · 27/02/2007 09:29

I have hundreds of crushes all the time, normally passing pretty quickly, some lasting years and years. I do tell DH about the celebrity ones and the hockey ones, but don't generally tell him about the real life ones (until I've gone off them and we have a good laugh about it then).

He's very good natured about that kind of thing, but I'm not [two faced emoticon] so although I dont mind knowing about the celeb ones (as long as I can rip into him about how shallow and fake they are) I'd hate to know about real life ones.

We watch TV together and talk about our crushes in the manner of him saying "you've developed a bit of a thing for gingers this month haven't you?" and me saying "yes, you can like Sarah Beeny because she's curvy and normal and seems nice, but if you even think about saying Misha Barton is pretty both you and she are going to get a slap!"

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 11:05

Celebrity ones are quite different. Helpfully, my DH appears not to get celebrity crushes or real ones. (Although he has a very strong new friendship with a woman he met at a black-tie do ... they email several times a day, and she bought him/us a Father Ted box set. Whole thing has me a bit , but no doubt I'll feel better when I meet her.)

Yeah, I totally understand avoiding someone, or avoiding certain situations (wouldn't want to go drinking with someone I had a crush on, for example). Wish I could just relax and enjoy it, but not sure how that would work.

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anniemac · 27/02/2007 11:14

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lulabelle · 27/02/2007 11:15

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Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 11:16

Does your DH know about it, lulabelle?

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lulabelle · 27/02/2007 11:18

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lulabelle · 27/02/2007 11:19

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Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 11:20

I guess it does.

My DH is being a bit goofy about it ('oooh, you're wearing a dress - who did you see today?' etc etc etc). And annoying me greatly as a result.

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 27/02/2007 11:21

don't ask, don't tell

crushes are by their very nature transient and (in the long term) meaningless

lulabelle · 27/02/2007 11:21

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Budababe · 27/02/2007 11:22

Well I have both RL and sleb crushes - DH feeds my celeb one by buying me Robbie calendars! RL ones I never tell anyone though. Too embarrassing. Most recent one was my fertility doc! Have a slight crush on a friend's DH - he is just lovely. But it's a crush - nothing more. And no way it is reciprocated.

anniemac · 27/02/2007 11:22

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Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 27/02/2007 11:23

Well, I do wonder, 'what does this crush mean?' 'why am I drawn to this person, what am I missing?'. So I'm not sure they're meaningless per se.

But it's still not like it's a conversation that I want to have with DH!

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lulabelle · 27/02/2007 11:24

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MrsBadger · 27/02/2007 11:24

no no, I didn't mean meaningless as in they don't tell you anything about you, rather that they don't end up drawing you away from your DH into a meaningful relationship .