OLD - pet peeves and clichés

[HardToDeal]

"Just as happy to stay in and cuddle in front of the TV as to go out" - says every profile, ever, anywhere

Hard I've deleted him but his name is The Tonguemaster and he's on OKCupid....grin

Ooh my ex is on OLD, if it's him he's actually not lying... but didn't make up for all the ways in which he was irritating unfortunately my.

Those photos with a puppy nose, ears and cartoony eyes (its not what you look like so what is this about?)

Only group photos??

People who can't seem to hold a conversation.

Duckface...

Photos of their children (not even with the woman in the photo just her child/children)

And "i work as a full time mummy"

I read this today ... on a swiping dating site that rhymes with 'hinder';

'Live you're life like its your last'

Punctuation and all...

Left...

This have cheered me up

5 pictures all group photos! Who are you?

First picture is a group shot and you can almost guarantee it's not the one you like.

Only shots with sunglasses on, do you have eyes?

Starting conversations with 'I think your beautiful' Well thanks but I kind of got that since we matched!

Group photos where the friends are way more attractive...awkward!

Tranquilised tiger. I wouldn't go near a man who thought paying into that industry was acceptable.

Turning the conversation sexual in the first message. Yuck, too soon. How about we meet and see if we fancy each other first?

The weirdos who moot the idea of meeting up and put some tentative plans in place then vanish. Just odd!

"If you can't deal with me at my best, you don't deserve me at my worst"

The cat call of every woman psychodramambitchfromhell.

My favourite was on POF (where I met me now husband) - I was messaged by a black guy with topless pic, facial expression looking a little constipated as he flexed his muscles saying he would give me all the free chocolate I could eat. Followed by a dick pic.

I did my eye roll thing then asked him if he worked in Thorntons or something - he then sent me a tirade of abuse, accusing me of being a 'racist bitch'.

Also refused to answer any messages sent in txt tlk. Wwu2 bby? Nope!

Haha oh god this takes me back.

All these things everyone has written each and every single one is a turn off. And they will never work it out...

I saw a man on match with the user name iloveeatingminge

Actually yesterday I saw one with the username LTB, I was dying to message him and tell him

My pet peeve at the minute is men who start slagging off the ex within the first few messages. Funny how all of these men seem to have crazies for ex-partners hmmmmm

First message 'man I would'

One that's struck me this weekend - why are they ALL "keen cyclists" and why do I find that so bloody offputting? Lycra, hack, plus visions of either a) wheezing up hills as we go on marathon cycle rides together or b) endless listening to crap about derailleur and cycling on TV, second only to golf in boringness. And of course, never being able to say anything negative about any of it because Cycling Is Good For You

OLD was a long time ago for me but from what I can remember:

'No weirdos' as if a statement like that will stop a weirdo messaging you.
'My kids are my world'
'No one over a size 10 please' - I will always remember that guy's profile. He seemed incredibly stuck up and had a massive list on what he didn't like in a woman. I bet he's still on POF 2.5 years on.
'If you can't deal with my worst, then you don't deserve my best' My male friend says this is on literally nearly every woman's profile these days.
'I like women who put thought into their messages' yet when they message you it's always 'hi bbe wuu2?'
I tend to see a lot of 'I like going out, but I also love staying in with a good film'
'I love travelling', yes you do and so does everyone else on POF.

Busily making notes as I'm guilty of at least one of the pet peeves listed here! Think its the travelling one!!

I finally twigged why I was getting messages on POF which say Hi or Hi there - its the automatic message which is sent when you click the 'show and interest' button or (I presume) the 'send a flirt' button. Either way it shows a lack of imagination.

I agree with pretty much all of these! I also bloody hates the ubiqitous cycling shot...mate, you're wearing a helmet, goggles and a fucking MASK! They all look the bloody same!

Also not a fan of "I like going out and also staying in" Really? You enjoy going out with your mates and also having a night on the sofa? Well, aren't you just super-unusual?!

I hate selfies too. Bathroom and car selfies either scream "married" or that they have no friends to take a picture for them. One of the things that attracted me to my boyfriend's profiles was that he had ONE selfie and the rest were snapshots of him doing things he enjoyed (nights out with friends etc) so he looked happy and relaxed and it also showed he's got interests and a good social life.

When I got really jaded with Tinder, I used to right swipe the drugged tiger ones just so I could have a go at them if we matched!

My DHs mate (recently married and not separated as far as his wife knew) put up a pic on a dating profile of him on his honeymoon and just cropped out the new wife!

I was shown it by a good friend of mine who knew him by sight - he's sent her friend a message asking if she fancied a fuck.

I'd never liked him and it didn't improve my view of him

I've seen actual wedding pictures on Tinder before, without the wife even cropped out! So either they are still married or they are now separated/divorced but still think it's reasonable to use wedding pics!
I've also seen proper family poses...mum, dad, kids on a nice day out to the zoo etc. It's just bizarre!

Some of the POF fails on Twitter are hilarious. Some men & women appear to be clueless