OLD - pet peeves and clichés

[HardToDeal]

"Just as happy to stay in and cuddle in front of the TV as to go out" - says every profile, ever, anywhere

Yes Anonymous I forgot 'I can't believe I'm on here' or variations of that.

Oh yeah amazing Salty! How could I forget "My children are my world"!

Looking for a woman who is tactile and loves cuddles.

Meaning I will paw you constantly

These are great. I don't think DH would appreciate me getting Tinder for the craic, but I'd really like to!

"I'm an indie type guy/gal" - I am a clone of everyone else around me.
"You can find me in the Northern Quarter" - I'm too self-consciously trendy for my own neighbourhood.
"What I really love to do is travel" - I live near an airport that Ryanair operates from and it's cheaper to get pissed on a weekend bender in Bumfuck, Eastern Europe than here at home.

I like to watch Netflix and Chill.

Hmmmmmm yes. You just want a shag.
I really hate that bloody saying.

'Does this app work?'

Yes it does, there is no end of tedious profiles.

Profiles with no photo - yeah, yeah, we should choose people based on personality - er, bzzzt, wrong! Considering 90% of the guys are totally unattractive to me what's the odds that someone who doesn't dare to put a photo on is one of the 10% who will be?

Also guys who favourite you, wink, repeatedly view your profile, but don't whack a couple of sentences into a message. Nope!

Looking for my princess .

"Never been with a coloured/black/dark lady before"

'Free single and ready to mingle'

Anything with 'lol'

"Hate filling these in"

Yeah we know, just bloody get on with it.

About Me section:
"Just ask"

Profession:
"I have one"

That "if we meet up and you don't look like your pictures then you're buying the drinks until you do" has come up quite a few times recently. What sort of woman would think "oh you seem nice!"

Not used it for many years, but I remember this used to come up all the time:

"I love walking on moonlit beaches or snuggling in front of a log fire" (how original )

Also 'looking for a woman who is body-aware' no one over size 8 need apply

'easy going guy' / means - don't bother me with your shit, I do what I want.

How's is going on here?

How come a stunning girl like you is single?

About you:
Ask

Profession:
None of your business / Have one / Yes

You are so stunning!
What the hell are you doing on this??
Well, it's your exes loss & my gain!
What do you do in your spare time?
Would you like to see a picture of me & my 100 person family?
Oh here, here's a dick pic!
Oh & another one
Like what you see??
Do you think we are getting on well?
Would you like to go for a drink soon?

don't know why I even bother!

Would you like to go for a drink soon?

This is a good sentence if it comes at the right point.

Not great as an opener.

"I don't know what to write, but here goes ..."

"I just like to have a laugh and don't take myself too seriously"

You just KNOW that guy is going to flip out if you poke gentle fun at his novelty tie.

Really bugs me when men say looking for a 'female', not sure why, but hate it!

"Looking for a knight in shining armour, not a twat in tinfoil"
"If you can't deal with me at my best, you don't deserve me at my worst"
"Yes I'm single, and you'd better be damned amazing to change that"
"No liars or addicts"
"Lol"
"I'm cray-zee and luvvin it"
"My kids are my world"
"Will fill this in later"
"I like going out and staying in"
"I love curling up in front of the tv with a glass of wine and a dvd"

(On women's profiles)

Great to have a man's perspective Bant!

'Twat in tinfoil' . I have occasionally changed my settings to check out the competition .

Not guilty of any if those! Actually it's useful to find out the offputting things so I can avoid them 😄

I'm new to this.....

Funny I've been on six months and your ugly mug keeps popping up at the bottom of my god damn screen hugging that monster of a fish since time began