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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Rate your relationship

129 replies

Pinkiepie1985 · 24/01/2017 16:50

Semi light hearted thread not made to make people feel bad. Just curious how happy others genuinely are... some of my friends seem to have found such a perfect match it's unreal, surely all partners are annoying at times?!

I think mines pretty average/crap at times. Sometimes feel it's the beginning of the end. Other times we're happy. Married 8 years.
Based on a 1-10 scale , 1 being awful and 10 being perfect marriage I'd say we're a 5/6 what about you lot?

OP posts:
Perfectlypurple · 25/01/2017 15:15

Been together 9 years. Happily married. He drives me mad, annoys the hell out of me sometimes but he is the person I want to ring with good or bad news, the person I want to come home to, although I like being at home when he isn't sometimes. I'd say a good 9/10.

RainbowsAndLemonDrops · 25/01/2017 15:26

9 - very happy, he's wonderful!

Stormwhale · 25/01/2017 15:29

Ben together nearly 9 years. I would say we are an 8. It would be higher, but physical and mental health issues on both sides can sometimes cause problems especially with intimacy. If we had a more consistent sex life I would say 9.5.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 25/01/2017 15:30

9-9.5 I'd say. (15 years into our marriage). We never argue. I wouldn't mind a better sex life Wink but really, life is very happy indeed.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 25/01/2017 15:33

10, he's amazing. Maybe a 9.8 as he works ALL THE TIME, but even that is part of his charm, I am so proud of him. He's happy, I'm happy, we make each other laugh every day. I think it's alright really Grin

Icancoco · 25/01/2017 15:42

What does a 9 or a 10 look like?

Does it involve always doing an equal amount of childcare/house jobs? Having equal finances whatever the job or salary of the spouse? Always considering the other in decisions being made, giving you space to do what you like? Having regular and a good sex life?

I'm surprised that so many people rate so highly on here based on lots of marriages ending in divorce and these pages being about relationships, often bad ones.

I has a husband who I thought was a 8/9. Little did I know he was just a very good lier and cheat. Partners since then have never been more than a 6.

Maybe it is just meConfused

xStefx · 25/01/2017 15:44

6.5 years - getting married next year. I would say about an 8 or 8.5
We still have some work to do I think as we get older
I do worry that we are sooo different and don't have the same hobbies
However: we share the same beliefs and have the same morals and have a lot of respect for each other (and I fancy the pants off him) he is also very loyal.

Belfastbird · 25/01/2017 15:48

Minus 5. Married 10 yrs. Together 19. On eggshells whenever he is here. Trying to summon up the strength to get out...

CitronellaEllaElla · 25/01/2017 15:50

belfastbird you can do it! I got out and like I said I'm single and my relationship status is 10/10. Flowers

SunnyIsland · 25/01/2017 15:52

Been married nearly 30 years
I would rate 9.5

He has his annoying habits, I have mine numerous annoying habits, but we have grown old together, been through a load of shit times and good times. We have a good laugh together and he is the kindest, loving person, he is my soul mate. and yes, shock horror, we are having more sex than ever, now the kids are off our hands, us old wrinklies with saggy bodies still enjoy it tooWink

Belfastbird · 25/01/2017 15:52

Thank you. I know it's what I need to do. He thinks everything despite me telling him it's not

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 25/01/2017 15:54

You can do it, BelfastBabe Flowers

CelticPromise · 25/01/2017 16:01

13 years together. 8-9/10. Sometimes a 10, occasionally a 5-6. He's a good man and we are just right for each other.

NootNoot · 25/01/2017 16:10

4 years in- 8.5.
Perfect is boring ;-)

2017BetterKickAss · 25/01/2017 16:16

36 years married. Love him to bits and fancy the pants off of him. It's a 9.95 though. He picks his teeth and slurps. Almost as bad as he says my snoring is.

OldLibrary · 25/01/2017 16:34

Oh dear, hellsbells what's happened?

A two here. Eighteen years.

n0ne · 25/01/2017 16:55

I'd say 7-8. Been together a decade, he still makes me laugh like a drain, and he's incredibly sweet and considerate (most of the time). I really fell on my feet when I found him. Some days I could throttle him but very rarely. But I think our relationship works because we try to never take each other for granted, consciously, and we never stay mad at each other.

FarFromFolsomPrison · 25/01/2017 17:11

We married young and have been together over 20 years. I'd say a 10, as Norks said, if they're kind, everything else is good. Kindness is the quality I advise my DC to look for in a DP.

Icancoco Again, I think it's kindness. DH and I have taken turns at being WOHP/SAHP, we take turns with housework (as much as I can, am disabled) and just basically look after each other. My DH is the kindest person I have ever met, so I feel like he makes me a better person as I try to reciprocate (I'm naturally quite a self centred and impatient person so need prodding occasionally Smile). I think just showing love to each other is important, however people do it. Someone posted once about the languages of love, which was interesting.

therealpippi · 25/01/2017 17:32

Together 12y married 10y separated a month.

Married: 1, as an xh: 10. He is wonderful as a co-parent/friend, he was shit as a partner. Funny that.

Atlast2017 · 26/01/2017 05:32

I'm really surprised at this thread. I genuinely didn't know so many people were happily married.

i must be getting cynical in my old age because it's not what I thought I see around me eg friends, family and colleagues.

TheNaze73 · 26/01/2017 06:38

Together 3 years. With a female chef. It's a perfect 10, as she keeps that full & them empty. It ain't difficult Grin

0dfod · 26/01/2017 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mittensonastring · 26/01/2017 08:02

To the comments on so many happy marriages many people in unhappy ones may not want to share. Scanning through there are about 5 of us who rate our marriages badly.

acornsandnuts · 26/01/2017 08:11

I would rate 6 he would probably rate much higher. Together 20 years. His life is pretty as he wants it to be mine is pretty much the opposite.

iloveberries · 26/01/2017 10:02

SadSadSad

Wonderful for you all

Although makes me realise I've been hiding from how sad I am