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Relationships

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Couple swapping

350 replies

user1484939839 · 20/01/2017 19:23

Hello

New name, you know....

I am on here a lot but not this topic.

Anyway....

Advice please....

Happily married - typical 2 kids mid 30s etc etc

Friends have suggested quite openly that we swap. We are due to stay at thiers tomorrow night, they live about 100 miles away.

We have a relaxed, chatty, friendly relationship with them. Been on holiday as couples. Not that long standing. No deep and meaningful discussions.

The haven't swapped before and neither have we. My husband and I had vaguely thought about it before kids with another couple but it never happened. This couple just sort of suggested we all try the last time we met up which was for dinner rather than staying over. Holiday means that boobs, bums, wobbly bits, and so on have already been exposed.

I have to admit, I fancy the idea, hubby too, and I texted just now to say ummmmm ok.

Thoughts?

Bad idea?

SH

OP posts:
FuckOffDailyMailQuitQuotingMN · 22/01/2017 14:23

Spiralised melon? Shock This thread just gets more and more outrageous.

Why would you do that to a perfectly good Melon?

user1484939839 · 22/01/2017 15:03

Wow, where did 9 pages come from?

And so many funny people talking about vegetables. It is almost as you want your own little private club where you can sit on judgement on women you decide do not have the same flawless characters that so many of you seem to have.

A few small points.

When I say that I come here regularly, I don't mean that I come here as often as I breathe, I mean that I come here more frequently than I go on holiday. But I do have other things in my life, my children, husband, family, job, friends, sport, gardening, pizza making, and sitting looking at the wall, are all examples. I come on here perhaps more often than I make pizzas but less often than I do something in the garden. It is still regularly. I hardly every post and mostly read, usually to make myself feel better about my life. In comparison to some people here I am happy, cheerful, sociable, balanced and tolerant. Most of all I am non-judgemental and kind when thinking about other people's choices in life. Well I am not always, but I do try.

No one sent me the document with the following rules:

I have to call everyone in my life some bizarre acronym starting with D. I don't want to do this.

I shouldn't use my initials at the end of posts. I don't care about this one and chose to sign my posts with my initials.

I didn't know you could just change your username, that is why I made a new username. I therefore can't post on the sex topic because you need to be registered for more than 90 days. More to the point, this seemed to me to be a relationships issue, I know how to have sex and could imagine how to do it with someone other than my husband.

OK?

Now for the interesting bits.

My children were being looked after by my DMIL (dastardly mother in law).

We met these friends when we lived abroad and kept in touch. We didn't do a 200 mile around trip to swap, we see each other two or three times a year. Some of you may find that having friends is normal and that sometimes those friends may not live within 2 minutes of you.

We got there, had some lovely cocktails, plenty of chat, dinner, some drinks and then went to bed with 'the other man'. We had sex twice and it was really really great fun. We swapped back after a couple of hours and I had lovely warm sex with my husband and then we went to sleep.

In the morning it wasn't awkward, it was happy, funny, and I am really glad we did it. I found it sexy, liberating, horny, and really satisfying.

Oh, and finally to the cultured, dignified, polite women who asked what would my husband do if my friend's 'fanny' was tighter - you are a bloke aren't you?

Thank you to those of you who made kind, thoughtful, honest, or humorous replies.

OP posts:
FuckOffDailyMailQuitQuotingMN · 22/01/2017 15:23
Hmm
FuckOffDailyMailQuitQuotingMN · 22/01/2017 15:25

It really couldn't have gone any other way, given the thread, could it?

Butterymuffin · 22/01/2017 15:27

Sounds all right then OP.

Will you do it again next visit?

And did the courgette quiche get eaten?

YourFace · 22/01/2017 15:29

Pictures or it didn't happen.

user1484939839 · 22/01/2017 15:31

Quiche, a joke, sorry. Awful things - does anyone really buy courgette?

Yes, I think we will do it again although we didn't talk about that.

Pictures - are you insane?

OP posts:
CaraAspen · 22/01/2017 15:31

OP:
"Oh, and finally to the cultured, dignified, polite women who asked what would my husband do if my friend's 'fanny' was tighter - you are a bloke aren't you?"

Oh charming. Women are perfectly capable of ridiculing you, too.

CaraAspen · 22/01/2017 15:32

"Pictures - are you insane?"

No, she is not...

Shockers · 22/01/2017 15:39

So you weren't all in the same room?

CockacidalManiac · 22/01/2017 15:39

Courgettes are foul.
I've never liked the 'DH', 'DS' stuff on mumsnet; it's twee.
Swinging? Sounds a bit 1970s. Everyone's into Dogging nowadays.

user1484939839 · 22/01/2017 15:43

No, not same room.

OP posts:
Shockers · 22/01/2017 15:43

Apparently Lancashire is the dogging capital of the UK. I've never seen anyone at it though.

WellErrr · 22/01/2017 15:44

YourFace Grin

Shockers · 22/01/2017 15:45

Will you talk about what happened in your respective rooms with each other?

user1484939839 · 22/01/2017 15:48

We have a little, I am sure we will talk more.

OP posts:
Mermaidinthesea · 22/01/2017 15:49

Well if you think your marriage can survive it and really want to. Would be the absolute last thing I'd want to do. My ex husband tried to pressure me into it but I refused and I presume he went off to find someone easier.
Some people manage to do it and be perfectly happy only you know if you are one of those people or not.

TheLadyWithTheYellowHat · 22/01/2017 16:17

Bit late to the party...

I have a confession

I have never ate a squash or an aubergine Shock am I missing out?

Montane50 · 22/01/2017 16:40

When you went to bed with the other man, did your husband munch on quiche? Or shag the other woman?
Just curious as you don't mention what part he played and i wonder if you're in denial?
Other posters have been very funny tbh and the Sharon comment is ace

user1484939839 · 22/01/2017 16:42

I said that we both, i.e. me and my friend, went to bed with the 'other man' - she went to bed with, and had sex with, my husband.

OP posts:
LEELULUMPKIN · 22/01/2017 17:00

I am probably sooooo old fashioned but I am going to come out and say it (ready for flaming) but I cannot get my head around the fact that if you truly love someone you can have sex with someone else and think it's ok. I couldn't love a man who was happy for me to do it either, but hey that's old fashioned judgey pants me.

bloodymaria · 22/01/2017 17:03

Well, jolly well good for you OP. It's a grim old thought but it takes all sorts I suppose.

ClaudiaWankleman · 22/01/2017 17:09

Do you reckon you were scoped out on holiday by the couple as a potential swap partner, OP?

Did you meet on a cruise? I have my suspicions about some cruise-goers.

user1484939839 · 22/01/2017 17:12

We met them when we lived abroad - before kids.

We didn't talk about it then, but it has cropped up in conversation a few times since.

OP posts:
manandbeast · 22/01/2017 17:19

OP,
I loved your post.
I'm envious ( in a good way!) of your weekend.
You sound balanced, good humoured and fun - so sure to get a hard time on here.

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