Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

I can never have just the one, once that first mouthful is in and tasted I've got the flavour and it's the entire bottle or 5/6 gins.

Like you said , I'm better off not starting at all and I'll do DJ, it's beyond that that's the worry.

SanDiego That first mouthful is the absolute sweetest for me. Nothing else tastes quite like it.

I've had to moderate lately, it's been so hard, but I was scared I'd get pissed and trip on the the dog. She's had surgery and there's been complication after complication. If I landed on her it would be the end of that leg.

Would I stop for me? For family? For friends? Probably not. For her, yes. I started this whole sorry situation, I owe it to her to look after her the best I can.

The want is always there. I can curb it when I'm on duty but when I'm off it's a whole nother story.

She's staying overnight at the referral centre shortly, and my fuse will be lit that day. I will be responsibility free. There won't be enough yarn in the world to keep my hands busy.

ma well done on day 4

dubh my mum went to Aberdeen for Christmas, and ^didnt bring back any rowies* 😨 😡 I should have held her Christmas presents hostage until she came up with the goods...

Day 4 in the bag. Fresh sheets on the bed and a sober sleep ahead - bring on the random dreams

Well done babes, am reading everyone's posts but can't retain names and information reliably enough to name check you all. I do love 'try January' though, it suggests to me that if I like sober January I might try longer. Helps me avoid a mental countdown

Night all x

Morning all,
It took a long time to drop off last night but it was refreshing sleep when it came.
Bloody freezing here,

Thursday is danger day for me so I need to plan for ithe.

Hope everyone else is well.

Morning all. Lux, good luck tonight, will be around to proffer knitting (knatting) and nonsense by way of distraction. Stay strong.

Like you it took me ages to fall asleep,,, but what a nice sleep! Like being hugged by fluffy clouds all night (in a nice way). Hope everyone else's sleep patterns are evening out too.

My sleep pattern hasn't improved Small but hopefully it will. Here's to Day 5 😊

Morning all.

I finally got a vintage 1922 hand crank singer sewing machine working last night and identified all the accessories, now in two minds as to whether to sell her or not, she's a beaut!
Better sleep last night, at least 3.5 hours, its creeping up. Hope everyone else found the same and best of luck for another day.

Elba bloody well done on Day 3!
A new day here...Starts with a trip to the dentist.deep joy.
Sleep definitely better last night and face feeling less puffy. Could there be some truth in this alcohol being bad for you lark?
Have a good day, y'all!

Morning all. Day 5 checking in. Day off work to take dd shopping today. She has just told me she has nits. She is 13 FFS . How?????

Sweet and Lunk I will do C25K with you starting at the weekend, though currently so far am embarrassed to get my leggings out. Guggs I hear you re: wobbly bits. I am scared if I run past someone too close I will knock them out with wobbly reverberating bingo wings .

Dubh I shall permit 'knat' as rather like it, as long as you maintain correct apostrophe usage at all times.

Enjoy your day all x

Morning all Lux I looked out all my lotions and potions and today I am wearing Milton Brown Rhubarb and Rose body lotion on my scaly skin .......impressed? I am !!
Sleep was awful last night just couldn't switch my brain off. Poor DH he is like a bear with a sore head this morning as I kept him awake by tossing and turning
Anyway a bright new shiny day......she you all later

Morning, I had another awful sleep, same as you sober couldn't stop thinking.
Great to have a C25K buddy hope, I didn't look in the mirror before I left. Shudder.
It's been snowing here, very cold but beautiful day.
Have a good day everyone

Very impressed tis I got some bonus Boots advantage points and bought a 'Moisture bomb tissue face mask' so that will be tonights LW treat. I have also got my blue eyes back rather than red and puffy

Love the sound of the sewing machine chit

So this is day 4/5 - I said earlier it's 'danger day' for me, but to be honest it's so cold that a G & T or Pinot doesn't really appeal so far (I have woken up in the past planning that nights drinking)
I have some very nice hot chocolate in so maybe that will suffice, otherwise an early night.
Hope the dentist is ok Ma and that everyone else is doing well. I'm sorry if I've missed you out but I'm sending good thoughts to everyone here on the bus.

Still not great sleep, horrible anxiety dreams all night.

The trouble is I don't think that's the alcohol leaving my system - I've suffered with anxiety dreams since I was a teenager, horrific ones where loved ones are trapped in a sinking / burning car and I can only rescue one of them. They're really distressing. One of the reasons I like a drink in the evening is it mutes the dreams. But then alcohol both fuels and relieves the anxiety which itself is connected to my ASD, like some unholy trio of brain-goblins.

I'm going to see if there's any ASD specific help available near me to help with the anxiety but I suspect my GP will just try to push anti-depressants at me again - I'm not depressed, I'm extremely cheerful most of the time!

Morning All.

Such a lovely busy bus at the moment!

I'm just going to have a little bit of a grump, then get on with my day. I have had a virus (usual winter type thing, cough, aches, fluey feeling, fuzzy brain) since the beginning of December, overtime I think I'm getting better, it comes back again, although the cough has never actually gone. It's just a stupid virus, no point going to the GP, it's not a chronic life limiting illness. But I am so FUCKING FED UP. I'm tired from coughing myself awake.

Does any think a slap from Barrie might have medicinal properties?

I want to be able to feel the benefits of DJ

Sorry, that was thoroughly self absorbed.

Mips, don't dismiss the pharmacological route, it may be the thing that keeps you safely away from the 'brain goblins' long enough for other therapies to work. I suffer periodically from depression and anxiety. During the last big crisis two years ago, my GP recognised that I needed ADs just to be in a position to do the real work with CBT. I was referred to an online service, but you can refer yourself here: italk
I was skeptical because I have done hours/days/months of various types of therapy with only limited or very short term success.

Sweet not at all, I would be grumpy too if I had been feeling unwell for so long. Hope you pick up soon, lots of early nights, good food and plenty of water for you.

Mips brain goblins, yes, good description. The last couple of years I have been plagued by anxiety triggered by multiple bereavements plus a lot of financial worries. Like you I'm a generally cheerful and optimistic sort of person- on the outside at least. I am hoping no or at least less alcohol will help the dark, intrusive thoughts a bit.

It is proper perishing cold here, but I've been for a stroll. I think I will be ok tonight, hoping a few of you will be around to talk me down if I start cracking. I feel more alert and on the ball, which is a great incentive in itself. Doing a few things for me is helping too, a luxury woman has self esteem right?

Hope everyone's day is going well.

Lux, thank you, I'm trying. You're getting the hang of looking after yourself, not long now until it will become a habit!

Had a lovely frosty walk with SweetDog this morning. We have a super group who meet most mornings in our local park; this morning we stood for ages trying to spot the woodpeckers we could hear in the trees - which we did eventually, such a lovely, simple thing.

Just met this pup on the beach unusual down south, sometimes see them swimming but beached is a first for me. Rescue team there to make sure no dogs disturb him. They have sharp teeth & get aggressive (according to lady) he's probably very frightened.

Hi babes! 'Tis I, back from the brink that f*ing Xmas drove me too! Suffice to say it was a booze-fuelled, conflictive, shitty time, mostly brought on by my desire to make everything perfect coupled with the fact that I was constantly pissed. Why don't I ever learn???

Anyhoo, I am doing DJ and all good so far, although I definitely prefer Try January, takes the pressure off. The cravings are insane and I can't believe how much I think about alcohol even when I'm not having any, but I recognize that I am a much nicer person to be around when I'm not drinking. But I still find myself looking forward to February .

I am eating so much chocolate to make up for lack of booze but I agree with you Ma - you can't do DJ, major diet and major exercise regime all at the same time! I've already got through DS1's Cadbury selection box and planning on starting on DS2's tonight.

To all those starting running programs, good luck to you! This time last year I couldn't run for a bus but I started running in April and did three 10km races between September and December. And I was that girl at school who walked the sprint races and got lapped multiple times, so if I can do it, anyone can. Really. And the moment you realize that your bottom is flapping behind you just a little less, that feeling is fab.

Well done to all day fivers - sorry not to nc but sending big hugs to all.

Spanna, that is unusual down here, but also a bit special - I hope it was ok.

Margie, I have just scoffed down a bowl of honey comb ice cream - just because there's no christmas chocolate left!!

margie good to see you again!
I did a very cold and frosty half hour walk today at lunchtime and saw a heron.
Dh is bitching because Ds's dental appointment is at 5.50 and he doesn't want to go out and take him! Rather be in glued to FB and drinking beer. Lazy fucker

Ma, keep it up (if only to keep bossy DD at bay ). Was the heron standing or flying? I thought you'd been quiet on the DH front - suggest that while he is there with DS, he can book the next check-up for a time that would be more amenable!

Ma, Sweet, Spanna - so good to see you old friends.

Another one with an anxious, sleepless night here...until about 6am when I went into a deep sleep and lost most the morning So that's probably not going to help with getting to sleep tonight for a 5.30 start tomorrow....

I'm a complete over-emotional mess at the moment- think PMT multiplied by ten. I cried for an hour yesterday because someone did something unexpectedly nice for me. I have just burst into tears driving behind a removal van as I was picturing a families life all packed up etc etc , and I cried when I got up as i overslept. Tomorrow I have to spend 14 hours acting as an actual grown up professional....

spanna that's a much nicer creature to find on a beach than the giant jellyfish I am always seeing washed up on ours. Hope it was ok.

margie great to see you!

sweet hope you start to feel a bit better soon (and a prolonged cough is a perfectly justifiable/ sensible reason to visit the GP, especially if it is still ongoing).

Im still yearning for a sunny run on the beach. Swam yesterday and have a yoga class tonight but it's not the same. My whole plan for the next few months was based around marathon training- food, alcohol, distraction from other stuff etc etc. I really, really want to do it!