Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

tiger my my lovely friend, I've been posting on here for, I think about 5 years and I've failed at least 1000 times but I learned a little more about myself and my depression with every "episode", if it were easy there would be nobody in our world with an alcohol problem and we know that sadly is not the case. I'm sending you a big hug and as always and listen to our magnificent dubh cause nobody says it better!!! Xxx

Good morning Tinkerbell, how are you this fine morning? What are you up to today?

LW helped a few of us by making sure we took a moment to ourselves. Face masks, hoof paring, and other such beautifying efforts. I not only feel better this month, I look better. Yes I may be a bit rash ridden but my rash is soft and glowing.

I took an evening or ten sorting my wardrobe out. I was quite ruthless, my wardrobes are no longer stapped to the gunnels and I have mended stuff that needed mending. Now I just need to sort out all the make up, toiletries, other gubbins.

I need to pare stuff down a bit more. Put your favourite tunes on and keep your hands busy. I love saving my ironing for a Saturday, Saturdays are not a good day for me. Surrounding myself with neat piles of ironing and a cloud of clary sage or lavender scented steam with a Columbo on the telly is my idea of heaven.

Pick a beauty treat to give yourself everyday, it doesn't have to be dear, even just experimenting with a new makeup look.

I will be mostly playing with eyeshadow today if I'm not called in. Some of the tutorials on YouTube are fab. I like Monique Parent as she is older, honest and silver haired. That and she is not up herself. She will screen stuff that doesn't really work and she admits it. But she has inspired me not to fade away as I get older. I do look at the younger generations but I just can't get to grips with contouring.

I look like I'm away to hide in the reeds and shoot some ducks. Or that I need a good wash.

I hate peeling tatties. Look at me putting it off....

Afternoon baby! ((((((((((SunshineyBosie)))))))))))) xx

Morning Tinkerbell welcome, totally get the habit factor and I'm trying to make new ones.

Just join in with as little or as much as you are comfortable with.
I want to quit drinking apart from high days and holidays I think.

And yes it's hard to drink with drying nail varnish and a face pack on. I have an image of the woman I want to be and am working on being her, it's helping.

Welcome tinkerbelle
Well, the cold which and been hanging over me descended in mighty force and I am still in bed with a bog roll, producing industrial quantities of snot.
Dubh you sound very upbeat, gan yersel hen.
Just finished reading "The Watchmaker of Filigree Street"
What a strange and enthralling book! Impossible to describe, shades of The Night Circus and very surreal,but beautifully written.

Only just noticed this thread, any room for a Dry Trout ?
My story, which I've copied and pasted from a thread about stopping drinking which I just commented on, that mentioned this thread.

I'm a loooooong time problem drinker...a couple of glasses of wine most nights with a binge at least every other weekend. I end up acting like a fucking moron on nights out and spend weeks wrestling with my embarrassment.

I've been doing dry jan and found it fairly easy, which is odd as I rarely can go a week without a drink. I think the accountability of telling everyone I was doing dry jan has helped in keeping me going, I haven't wanted to let myself down and have to admit I couldn't do it.

Now, as the month is coming to an end, I've found that I don't feel as I'd predicted I would. I thought at the start that I'd be excitedly planning my February 1st drink, picking out a really expensive bottle of wine to treat myself etc. I am of the mindset that I might quietly continue, a day or week at a time with the sobriety.
I think, for me at least, that it's easier not to drink than it is to try and fool myself that I can stop at one or moderate my drinking. I'm by no means saying that I won't ever drink again, but just that for now I feel better not drinking.
For the past month I've been a more present mother to my little DS, I'm not distracted with getting him to bed so I can have a glass of wine. I've been more on-the-ball at work. I'm much more motivated to do things without the fog of hangover. AND I've lost over half a stone without changing a thing about my diet. My rosacea is also starting to clear up.

CuileanDubh
It's beautifully cold but blue skies today. I went for a run. I have the C25K app. It's fine but at the end I realised I had kept running not turned bsck halfway. I'd gone 2.5 miles. I did comtemplate ringing himself to come get me. And then when I got back in my befuddled mind state, I decided to do a 15 box workout. I am currently dying on the sofa and trying to turn the bath on with the power of my mind...

dementedma
Now that sounds like an interesting book.
I hope your cold goes soon. Although I'd make the most of it and lie in bed eating cake 😄

TheTroutofNoCraic,
Now as the month is coming to an end, I've found that I don't feel as I'd predicted I would. I thought at the start that I'd be excitedly planning my February 1st drink, picking out a really expensive bottle of wine to treat myself etc. I am of the mindset that I might quietly continue, a day or week at a time with the sobriety

I hear you there. I am thinking of going for the 90 day challenge.
I'm finding it easier by setting myself these goals. I didn't drink last night as I didn't want to let myself down. I'm determined to do DJ to the bitter end. I've never been any good at sticking to things in the past so this has been a real struggle.

mint working my way through a family sized bag of Minstrels...

I'll join in the no weekday drinking, in really struggling at weekends. I'm easily putting away 2-3 bottles on a Saturday and same on a Sunday. It's with the drinking at dinner time it just all adds up

This is on top of my Friday blow outs and Thursday being the shit day round here I tend to start then.
Feel so ashamed putting my bottles straight in the bin cause I can't face putting them to recycle and someone seeing how much I'm putting away.

That's scary how it's escalated in the 3 weeks since the baby was born, right back into the old habits with a bang. I don't even know how I function like this sometimes

Hi to all.
So impressed with your perseverance dry Jan babes.
I'm just feeling weird. I've done 3 or 4 AF days each week.
On the other days a bottle of wine. Couple of times a bit more as well (celebrations).
So it doesn't feel great, but it IS better than 4 months ago.
But my drinking has got worse over the last 2 years. The time I've been with H.
And he is a problem drinker.
But we've been living separately since Sept.
Though seeing each other/trying to work things out.
I've always been a drinker but it seems to have escalated and I am struggling with why. And why seems like the key I need to unlock it.
When I was young I went out a lot. Loads of friends, sociable workplaces etc
I didn't really drink alone or even at home.
Now I feel like I sit there hunched over the wine as if it's the flipping only course of action in an evening!
And it does take the edge off - have had difficult times.
But the next day things are SO much harder...and you all know the thing that helps with that...
Oh this is a ramble.
I've just bought wine.
I'll have Mon to Thurs AF.

Feeling sad.

flowery. 42 it's so fucking hard, isn't it? I have done 20 days and want to do one more to make three week in total. But already I feel myself slipping back. I was disappointed I didn't see a weight loss, as I think that would have spurred me on. However, have joined BIWIs low carb bootcamping thread for the next one and it needs you to be AF for the first two weeks so that will give me another target. Fucking HRT issues aren't helping so I did a perhaps stupid thing and just stopped taking it cold turkey last week, which is contributing to making me feel crabbit and snarly. Sorry babes, am a right grumpy bitch today...And still in bed.

Tis true ma, it's not as if the alcohol is the only thing we're dealing with.
And then we get tangled up with a drink helping us deal.. And so on..
I do WW lost weight slowly all last year (1.5St, am very slow) and because we've been acquired and work is a nightmare I've not been getting to meetings, so no weigh in, therefore I can drink more! Ta-daaa!
Jeez

I definitely think changing hormonal treatment cold turkey will have a massive effect on your mood ma

Yeah I know.I ditched the ADs at the same time. Just sick of dosing myself up to try and make me feel better. HRT, ADs, booze. None of them make me feel better about myself or make me look better so I might as well be sodding miserable without all the additional chemicals.

I know that feeling, I've been on anti d's since I was like 30 weeks with dd. I'm now feeling worse than ever waking up not remembering texts I've sent. Part of me is lost without work being on mat leave aswell. and I feel lost and lonely so when dh gets home to help with the 3 kids I feel I deserve that wine.

I feel very pathetic that I've gone back to drinking so much, I feel selfish not looking after myself for the kids, drinking never felt like this big a deal before them plus I was always out with friends and coworkers so I was never drinking at home.

I feel like an old 50s movie star crying in the mirror crying 'I used to be somebody' sometimes but it's not even like I make an effort anymore really

I can relate to a lot of that flowery. Very hard with a new baby too, I don't envy you at all ( although I'm sure she is gorgeous). My dcs are older now but I still look in the mirror and see old and fat and under achieving and ask myself, Is this it?
How old are you, by the way?

Haha she is gorgeous I like to just sit and look at her sometimes.

God I'm glad I'm not alone that I think I'm fat and underachieving (I'm sure neither of us are really) it's one of those horrible feelings it gets hard to shake. I'm away to turn 30 this year.... in my head I dot between thinking I'm still 20 and being 70 with the aches and pains that go with that

Och, you're just a baby yet! I was 38 when I had very unexpected dc3 so I am a right old fart. And fat!
I think we need a squidgy baby photo to cheer us all up

I feel like an old 50s movie star crying in the mirror crying 'I used to be somebody' sometimes but it's not even like I make an effort anymore really - Oh Flowerey God, you 've really gone and said it there. That's it exactly, I felt just the same when DD was little.

I had 2 drinks with a huge lunch, just like last week I just fancied them. DD was fine with it, she knows it is wine that is the enemy, a weak beer is really ok (for me, may be different for you)
27/28 is fine with me, and I've been told I look less puffy and blotchy (hate the idea of puffy and blotchy)

Rightio I'm going to have a pint of water and lie in bed reading for the rest of the evening listening to the rain.

TheTroutofNoCraic Welcome, I will catch up with you properly later. I know exactly what you mean in your post.

42 Great to see you, life is so damn complicated isn't it? Sounds like you are stuck in a vicious circle and can't see how to break it, you will though, a moment of clarity will come at some point.

Ok that's me, off to cleanse, tone and all that malarkey. night babes x

27/29 bad maths there!

Here she is just for you guys.

Luxury I'm so glad someone else feels like that, I felt a bit silly writing it down but that's how to start getting past the feelings I guess

Just popped back on too coo Flowery she is a proper poppet, just gorgeous.

I have almost 20 years on you, try not to regret them like I do my lovely, Nearly 50 and I'm trying to find myself again. I'm trying to become my own best friend, it's a start. Writing your thoughts down help a lot, so don't ever be embarrassed, you're amongst understanding folk here.

Right, this middle aged mama has a facial oil to slather on, bugger the blotchy puffiness, I'll never be 21 again but I'm channelling a together 'Emma Thompson' type - calm, collected, looks great and is probably a good laugh, yep she'll do for me.

Goodnight everybabe.

Oh flowery she's absolutely gorgeous.

Just had a bit of a scary incident driving home. Have of course ended up buying wine- default reaction to anything . But have to leave again at half six and now want to get hammered. When will I learn it's easier to just not start???