Brave Babes - Barging through 2017 in style

[SweetLathyrus]

Hello, I'm SweetLathyrus (Sweet for short), and I've been hopping on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for three years now because, like some many of us, I struggle with alcohol.

The Bus is a supportive community at all stages in their relationship with alcohol and with lots of different goals - for some, it's abstinence, for others it's moderation, for others, it's just about getting a bit of control and perspective.

So, if you think you'd like to join us, don't be shy, flag us down and jump on board and share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with; sometimes there will be silliness, but there will always be help and support.

If you would like to know how the Bus first rattled into action, here is the first ever thread

And if you would like to know where we have been more recently, here is the most recent thread

Sorry babes I drank my wine, I guess even from the beginning I knew I would. So proud of you that have managed to carry on.
I'm thankful for Elba and Margie's words, they summed up my situation perfectly. Im 45, have 3dc and know I need to be alone again. I was a single parent for 8 years before I met current dp and had another dd. I love my dp and he is okay but not okay enough. I know all this, I long for my old house, where I paid all the bills, ate beans for tea because we were skint but I'm afraid of the fall out of leaving another relationship. Of the hurt it will cause.
You are all doing so well and it really does help to read. I'm not alone in this stupid obsession.
It's 'auld Christmas' here, the date we used to have Christmas until Christianity became our isles main religion. Although it's an old tradition it is still celebrated here in some of the smaller isles, I used to go to my grannies and get presents all over again. So my excuse, feeble as it is, is that I'm celebrating auld Christmas!

Hi all my life's pretty stressful at the mo, I know everyones is, but now more then ever- not done well with dj had a drink the other night bottle of prosseco left over from xmas didt drink last night or not doin tonight. I am like the person in charge of everything in my house and I find it unbearable no escape no lease I have to be in control! Iv been comfort eating a bit aswel although not put on weight just can tell iv lost control a bit. I need to sort my head out!! Sorry for the rant!

Lovely post Venus thanks.
lunk similar situation, left ExP finally Dec 2013, married my first love Jan 2016 (the one didn't cause the other!) and now we're splitting... But it's better than staying together as H has broken all we agreed when we got together...it's all such a mess and sad, but has to be. Feel for you.

Thank you for sharing that 42, it's really shit isn't it? You think you have it all sorted then turns out you don't. Sorry you are going though it.
Choco I'm the organiser here too, it's so bloody tiring. My dp 'went to the bank to cash a cheque' this morning at 10.30 got home at 3. No idea why I might be fed up. I'd love to leave and have a nice brunch, wander round town for a few hours and get home to a clean house and children fed. Never going to happen.
Margie said she's realised it's not the fact she drinks that she's unhappy she just is unhappy but she had to stop drinking to understand that. I hate the fact Margie is unhappy but she wrote exactly how I feel and I have to admit to having a little cry when I read it.
I guess life will never be easy it's just how we deal with it.

Ooh ma I loved The Night Circus!

I am re-reading Holy Fools by Joanne Harris. Brilliant, beautifully written. I've tried Rebus, but found it a bit grim.

Can't remember if I mentioned it, but I found a great series of books set in 17th century Aberdeen. First one is called The Redemption of Alexander Seaton. Helped my homesickness a lot 🙂

By the skin of my teeth.......day 8 tomorrow.

Well done to all babes, whatever day you are on and for every personal victory.. You are right ma the wine witch is getting pasted this week. I realised that in one small week, dh and I would usually have 14 empty bottles, 14! . how could that be the norm? A couple of bottle each night. . My liver must be exhausted. Anyway, for now at least, I am doing things differently

Keep on trucking babes.

Morning babes,
I love this bus ( not the spiders) because we can just vent and talk about how hard it all is. Everyone gets it, there's no judging. Life can just be so hard, it really fell apart for me about 18 months ago. I really felt as though I was falling through life. It slowly got better but isn't yet resolved. Big hugs to babes facing difficult times.

As for laura (does glaring) that is a big spider! Arrrrrgghhh! I'd never hurt a spider but they belong outside or in Australia not in a bed! Arrggh! : )

Day 8 blimey!

Dawning of a new day

Thanks Spanna, that is beautiful.

Lunk and Choco, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. I don't know what to say, can only send and and be here to listen. Lunk, I have decided that this is the year I treat myself to some counselling - don't have the logistics organized yet and I definitely can't afford it but I need to get my head straight about loads of shit that has happened, I think it will help on the eternal quest for happiness! Is there any chance you could get a break at and point and go and talk to someone in RL? I loved the Auld Christmas explanation, I didn't know any of that, this bus is a fountain of knowledge!

Ma and Dubh, you're doing amazing! Cheering you on from down here. Thanks for book recommendations Ma and others, I'm another Night Circus fan although I haven't read anything since last summer . I want to get into it again as I think it will help with that evening time when the WW comes calling, so any other recommendations would be great.

Good morning to all Babes, I've got lunch at the in-laws today, wine on the table etc, but it should be ok as they know I'm doing DJ. Tomorrow I go back to work so this week will be a real test, it's going to be so stressful as one girl in my team has just gone on maternity leave so I've got a new guy starting plus a thousand things going on and not enough time to get anything done! I need to be strong and not open that wine when I get home.

Morning Babes I've been so ill. Woke up Saturday 3am and was sick. Funny cos I thought it was the pork I'd cooked in slow cooker emersed in cider!!!!! I actually thought I'd poisoned myself with cider after all this time not drinking. Felt hungover, shakey, awful. Texted my friend who I was hoping might pick dd2 from gymnastics - she'd spent the night being sick too. Feeling a bit better this morning and have to go to work, can't afford to lose anymore money 😟
It is so so hard and difficult when a relationship breaks down, I've been on my own for 7 years now and most of the time I'm quite happy. Moments when I'm sick (thank god not often) is when I really miss the support of a partner. It is tough doing and being everybody for your DC - but really we have no choice. I was unhappy for a long time and until I gave up the booze I hadn't realised how much I was running away from my feelings. My dp did me the hugest favour by leaving me although I really couldn't see it at the time.
Sorry for long post back later off to work.
Take care lovelies xxx

Morning all. Such strength on this bus..Not over alcohol but over everything. Amazing women coping with families,shit relationships, and having to be the ones who do everything. So proud to be part of this community.

Oh, and it anyone brings a fucking spider onto this bus I will set horrid baby doll on them!

Morning, lovely lie in after a fantastic sleep.

Yes, everybody here is amazing, as ma says.
Those who had a drink last night, it's a new day.

So glad I hopped aboard, only, what? 9 days ago. You're all fantastic.
Sorry to not NC. I'm in bed in the half light squinting at my phone screen.

Good morning. Hope everyone is enjoying a peaceful Sunday.
That was a better night sleep. Clean bedding and freshly shaved legs certainly helped! I'm still in bed lazing with a cup of tea.
Ive decided I'm going to NC for this thread only.
I will return ...

Here...
😉

Shaved legs? Are you turning into luxury woman?
I suppose I should get up. Need to finish this bedroom, do the ironing and go for a walk. Yawn.

ma
I feel brand new today, what a revelation.

I was in danger of proving the existence of Yetis

Mint It took me about 3 goes to remove my pelt, was like deforestation.

I'm eating too much sugar, tbf there is a lot of sweets and biscuits left over from Christmas still and Rome wasn't built in a day I guess.
Next big test is going out for lunch today, not had an entirely sober weekend for years and that was due to illness.

Hope you feel much better later Spanna

I'm reading the Victoria letters, lovely book to dip in and out of.

Ok, shower time, a lovely washy, scrubby shower instead of a clinging to the walls shower, hoping it makes me feel half human shower.

Day 8, who ever would have thought thirsty me could do that?

I have just splurged online in the Body Shop sale . I used my birthday voucher and a code I found for 30% off sale stuff which is already half price. So I will have a lovely box of goodies arriving this week . Baths are the new Pinot!
I've now read the full thread and am full of admiration for you all.
Let's make 2017 a great one

Good for you Mint how lovely.
My new found interest in looking after myself is really helping me keep motivated. Especially now my skin is beginning to benefit, combination of better sleep and no wine I guess. My alter ego - Luxury Woman seems daft I know, but it's keeping me going.
Whatever help I suppose is good. I even experimented with a new eye shadow colour this morning with pleasing results.
A couple of years ago a chap in Tesco asked if I had grandchildren, well I am at the age where I could but I was very hurt/offended that is was the default assumption when I actually had a primary age child. A blotchy red face, hair scragged back and the general 'I'm invisible vibe' would do that.
Today I have on best bright pink undies, my 'best' top, full make-up and expensive (gift) perfume, puts a spring in my step. I've been tidying around singing "Natural woman" only inserting luxury instead of natural, yes I am totally bonkers, but I'm not hungover and snarling at my family.

There will be wobbles aplenty I realise, and I'm not thinking past the next couple of days but with the chat and support here I feel more confident than I have in ages, I can contemplate doing this, it's a possibility.

I saw on another alcohol thread a poster admit to what they really drink, I was at first glance 'wow, that really is a lot' not judging just 'wow' and then I realised, actually I bet I'm not far behind that quantity.

A habit or an addiction? For me, I think a habit that could slide into dependency, has been sliding.

2017 is the year I hope to reinvent myself - calm, together, sorted and richer actually, the amount I have spent in the wine aisle is phenomenal.

Sorry for the me, me , me - it's good though to clarify thoughts.

Can't remember the last time I shaved my legs lol... Might do a Footner later.

You know, I was going to quit this Bus and go it alone, but something just keeps pulling me back 😀

It's our bushy legs Joey

You know the mantrajoey
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!
Right, round two of the bedroom of death done - clothes! How do I have so many? I have thrown out all the fat clothes, save one or two things to save me actually having to wear pyjamas for work. I have found fitted tops, smart business suits and decent trousers, none of which fit. But they will! 3 more bags to the dump/charity. I can almost hear the room breathing a sigh of relief.

Lux I hope your lunch goes ok, go armed and ready, decide what you're going to drink before you get there. (sorry you've probably left for lunch already, doh!!) I love Carol King, we went to see the musical Beautiful in December for my mums bday - she is awesome - although she's not in it, she wrote so many so songs for other people before she 'made it' herself. Another one with an arsehole husband

My lovely 92 yo client, she's been married twice, 2nd DH died whilst making love (as she puts it) must have been awful. Anyway, she always says 'Men are selfish bastards it all evolves around them and their needs - all they think about is themselves' - personally I think there's a lot of truth in that!!!

I feel very emotional today - I think it's a combination of being weak from sickness, DD1 went out with some old school friends last night (she never goes out because of anxiety ) Anyhow, speaking this morning she had a nice time but says she's feels on the outside because they're all getting provisional places at uni and she's just given college up I went and had a little cry in the bathroom

Life is so fucking hard sometimes!

Babes, you are all amazing. Such strength, humour, honesty and toughness - we really are brave babes. Sorry not to NC - been offline for a couple of days and just catching up - but love to those who are struggling with tough stuff, and hurrah for everyone who is battling the WW so brilliantly, be it day 1, day 6 or day 700. All are amazing.

Sweet you ok? Not sure I saw you on my catch up through the thread just now. Sorry if I missed you!

Bittersweet weekend with my elderly parents. Love them so much but wow, they do my head in! Never has cooking sherry been so alluring.... but held firm. Onwards and upwards.