Dp paying for porn

[Namechange26]

Nc for this. I've found out dp has signed up for a website where you pay money each month to view a girls private blog where she posts porn and naked photos.

I know that he watches porn and I have no issue with this, but something about the idea of him paying for it doesn't sit right with me. We have a fairly active sex life and have no issues with our relationship.

Would you view this the same way as watching regular porn and I'm just overreacting? There is no interaction between them as far as I can tell so it's not like he's talking to other girls behind my back.

Well look at the time! I would post something helpful but it's time for my 'lunch break'.

Find that private space in the office, (if so required) quick, before all the others get there!

there is a que.

Queue

No queues here - how weird lol.

Sausage sandwich for my lunch

Sorry just re read what I wrote and I don't think I really explained myself the way I wanted to. Obviously it doesn't matter if it is lunchtime, dinnertime or any other time, I meant that anything that changes from something to want to do versus something you feel compelled to do is an addiction.

They have 'private spaces' set aside for such purposes 'if so required'
It's probably a legal requirement for these poor men. After all, men have to masturbate and come, come, come all the time.

'Can you all pipe down, I'm off to my 'private space'

I'm just glad these brace souls manage their condition so we're not constantly dealing with spontaneous come exploders everywhere

Brings a tear to my eye, I can't tell you

Clearly I mean brave sigh

that's because masturbation is a meaningless tiny fraction of our lives
Bollox.
It's been proven on here time and time again that porn hounds who masturbate too much cannot hold down a good sexual relationship with a partner.
Not all of them of course, but many suffer sexually.
Google 'Death Grip' and see what it says about it.
And if you are forever 'cumming' to porn what's left for us poor wee girlies at home eh?????
Not feckin' much I can tell you.

I honestly can't believe what I have read on this thread!

Yes porn can be a harmless and fun activity for some - but for others it can be incredibly damaging. When it leads to lying, deceit and addiction then of course it is a problem. I can speak from first hand experience.

My ex partner used to look at it almost every night, into the early hours, didn't come to bed and our sex life suffered. He used to watch it when I was out of the house at work, whilst he was meant to be looking after our son. He also suffered ED problems as a result of his porn usage. When pornography starts to interfere with real relationships then that is a huge problem. And that's not even mentioning the ethical issues that surround porn.

Lying to your partner until they shove evidence in your face is utterly wrong. Each to their own, but I would not date another man that watched porn whilst with me. I know how it can escalate into an addiction. And if I am single forever than so be it.

It's very sad when porn takes over an individual's life. I haven't been exposed to this scenario but can see how damaging it must be for all concerned.

My earlier posts mentioned how porn can be used by both genders in a positive way to help an individual (e.g.) 'get over the line'. Of course, moderation is advised.

Cheers.

Isabella your experiences are clearly very distressing. It just seems the word porn could have been replaced by alcohol or drugs and the issues would be similar.

It is the addictive personality that is the root of the problem rather than the 'thing' be it drugs, alcohol or porn.

It's worth education yourself with documentaries, literary papers, forums etc. when thinking about the issue of pornography. There is a lot of evidence of the harm it can cause, if you are open minded enough to find it.

A video I found very disturbing and telling on the subject:

One can't stress enough the Importance of 'getting over the line' at lunchtime for many office workers.

My views on porn have really changed over the years. I used feel ok about it as a single person and have been in relationships in the past where we have viewed it together and that was fine. What really changed things for me was when I discovered my partner had been secretly using it while telling me that the reason we weren't having sex was that he was too depressed about losing his job, that the medication he was on had reduced his sex drive to zero. I was also pregnant and hormonal at the time! He couldn't understand why I so upset and wouldn't /couldn't bring himself to apologize. What I would have given for Mnet then!
Anyway, I honestly felt cheated on.
But I also felt like maybe I wasn't entitled to my feelings because I was fat and pregnant and it's just porn and I shouldn't be so uptight. That is obviously absolute rubbish and I certainly wouldn't handle a situation like that now. I would be so much kinder to myself OP and listen to both my head and my heart. We are all worthy of love and respect from our partners and if this is a dealbreaker for you then so be it. People will only treat you the way you allow them to.

Isabella while no expert I have read several academic articles on porn usage and it seems their is no overwhelming consensus about the damage porn does. I tend to avoid YouTube I would rather read the actual research.

A lot of good research is hampered by what people 'feel' they should say. Also, it is difficult to ascertain if damaged people watch porn or if porn damages people. If the people being studied became porn addicts because of preexisting issues. One study suggested that teen boys who were well adjusted could consume porn with little long term damage.

A great website with a wealth of information is yourbrainonporn.com

One study suggested that teen boys who were well adjusted could consume porn with little long term damage.

Some people smoke all of their lives with little long term damage, it doesn't mean it is a desirable thing to do.

Anyway, all I can speak from is personal experience. If the OP is happy with her decision then that is all that matters. I just wouldn't wish my experience on anybody, and I found that lying about pornography is an indicator of deeper issues.