Being used for sex?

[Lorettalynn]

I'm pretty sure I am, would just value some opinions , been seeing guy for six months now,met online, see each other once a week due to work commitments,
Started well, in contact every day by text , good laugh and made me feel great
He says he loves me but I know he's been messaging other women online, says he's lonely and just wants to chat (I know!)
Messages have tailed off, he says he doesn't want to end things but our conversations just seem to be general chat, he sometimes ramps it up a couple of days before we're due to meet and I'm pretty sure it's just to keep me reeled in for a regular shag
He treats me badly after we've had sex, it's like he can't wait to get rid of me and can barely look at me
I'm writing this and know I should end it, I love him, how do I get my self respect back and tell him it's over, I just can't seem to do it

It would be very pathetic if you were to apologise. You've not done anything wrong. Remember the bad points. Who wants a grumpy, cold micro penis anyway. Get a new date set up and value yourself. You deserve better. I really hope you don't text him. You're going to be miserable for longer if you do. Then he will end up ending it. Get out now x

Don't give in to the urge OP. You will feel shit as soon as you text him and you know that already, that you will be agonising for an answer and the answer even if it came would be a let down. You don't need that

Don't do it OP. I can guarantee he isn't thinking about this situation even a tenth of the time you're spending thinking of it.

He will end it when he finds someone else, don't be his back-up while he keeps on looking. It will make you feel like absolute shit when he ends it. You'll be asking yourself what's wrong with you, when their is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

You're in control now, don't lose it by texting him!

You're all right, thank you so much for the support, it's really helping
I haven't text him but it's taking every ounce of self control I've got 😯

Can you not delete his number?

Delete all messages, delete him on back up contacts, fb, social media etc...then you can text him even if you wanted to.

I have deleted it but unfortunately I know it off by heart

In the interests of full disclosure I met him on a sex site, I only joined for a nose ,had no intention of meeting anyone from that sort of site but he wore me down with messages , in the words of Jim Diamond "I should have know better" shows age

Loretta

I've been there when you know the number off by heart. I have found though when you stop using it, the memory of it goes too. TBH this guy doesn't sound like he's up for a relationship anyway.

So think, 'just for today, I'm not going to contact him'.
Have you blocked him? You can do that even if he isn't in your contacts by inputting the number.

I can't figure out how to block, the only option I can see is to set the number as spam but then any message will still be there just in the spam folder
I presume if I've just deleted he can still text and it will just come up with his number rather than name

Keep posting here instead of texting.
He's an arsehole and you know it.
And the list of negatives is just... WOW - I can't understand why you are struggling. I really can't.
If the sex was good and your orgasms amazing, then that's different.
But he isn't even good at sex.
Keep chatting on-line with the 'new' guy and see where that goes.
Stop letting this cock of a man take up your head-space!

That was brilliant hells, that's just what I need! New guy and I are meeting on Friday😀 no point in letting the grass grow! Fuck him and his tiny cock 🐓

That just made me proper LOL!
Yes, he can keep his tiny cock.
Glad you are meeting with 'new' guy.
You'll realise soon enough that TC (tiny cock) is just that.
A tiny cock of the highest order.

I think I'll refer to him as TC from now on lol
You've no idea how much this is helping, I would have caved by now if it wasn't for mumsnet , thank you all xx

Mr Teeny Weeny Cock can F off with his emotional unavailability

Hi I am a male who has been in similar situation myself (my ex was behaving in a similar way as this guy is to you). It's not clear what more you wanted out of this relationship. More commitment? You say you can only meet once a work owing to work commitments..did he or you want more? He says he's lonely.... Did you try talking about this? He may feel he is getting mixed messages from you as well...

From my experience, I think the talking to others online is not something your relationship will recover from...but its not clear what you are still doing with him if you are not okay with that. If you do want more maybe worth a conversation in case its not too late. If not, try and break off without dragging things out any further or hurting any feelings he has for you. IMHO a conversation is much better than sending a text like the one suggested above. Hope this is helpful. Good luck.

Bloody hell, the micro penis and lack of orgasms would have had me running, even if he was really nice. Which, let's be clear, he isn't. I have no idea why you'd want to see this wanker ever again? Not only is he shit in the sack, he is telling you that he is seeing multiple women.

Get on line. NOT on to sex sites. Any guy on a sex site, is only after sex, they don't want a relationship!!

Do not text him!

If he texts you, I'd be tempted to send him this reply:

"Hello X. Sorry, but having had a few days to think, I have decided that I have no interest in seeing you again. I may have been able to see past your micro penis, if you were a really nice guy, but you aren't even nice, so I am throwing myself back on to the dating scene, in the hope of finding a lovely guy who has a big pecker. Bye"

He used the lonely card as an excuse for approaching other women on a sex site and insisted he only wanted to chat to them
I can't actually believe I swallowed his lies on that one and went back for more after ending it then, if he wanted chat we talked from good morning to goodnight every day so it wasn't lack of chat it was looking for randoms to have sex with
As far as I'm concerned it's over, he's not a decent human being and it's not my job to try and turn him into one
Last time we had sex he got up, showered , changed the bed then sat on his computer ignoring me till I put my coat on
Another trick was checking his phone after sex and replying to messages with a smirk on his face , almost like he was getting a kick out of messaging other women in front of me
He had sixteen reviews on that site from women and couples that he'd serviced, I only read two of them and they revolting and I told him that
But he wore me down over six weeks with messages and I agreed to meet
Why oh why didn't I see the big screaming red flags , never again
Phew !!! That felt good 😀

He's a massive narcissist with a tiny cock....the worst kind.

Are you a co-dependent? Did you want fairness? At any rate, you'll never, ever, ever get fairness from a self absorbed narcissist, they will never, ever, ever treat you right because they are just incapable. The y are black holes. If you were sucked in because you wanted to understand him, or get him to reciprocate fairly, it's a waste of time, they are inherently very unfair people.

The best advice I read for co-dependent people, is to nurture yourself like you are a three year old child. Really, really care for and love yourself and protect yourself. It was a revelation to me. Google "The human magnet syndrome".

Keep up the good work, ignore that fucker, that is how you will remain in control.

Omg it's gets worse, he 'serviced' sixteen women and couples and you want to see him again?!

No I don't want to see him again , I think I'm past the worst, being able to vent honestly on here has really helped
I can't believe I've been so stupid

He had sixteen reviews on that site from women and couples that he'd serviced

Eww!

And there was me thinking this couldn't get any worse. So, here's me wondering how he would "service" a couple exactly? Does he fuck the wife while the husband watches (urgh), or does he fuck men too? I am agog that you thought this slime ball was ever going to be relationship material.

Get an STI check pronto.

Delete the sex site profiles. Date nice, normal men. Please.

You met on a sex site, he's had reviews from 16 others (and must have slept with many more, he messaged other women in front of you just after having sex.

I think you quite clearly know you are 'Being Used for Sex' per your thread title. Even if this man were to suddenly discover his undying love for you, you know it isn't going to be for real. He gets kicks out of servicing other women and possibly men... he isn't good for you and especially not your self esteem.

Do not text him!

Profile was deleted a long time ago and had safe sex so it's ok
It's grim I agree
I feel a little bit like I've had a switch flicked in my head and the fog is slowly disappearing

I think there's a fair chance you will be used for sex if you sign up to a sex site and meet a man with 16 revolting reviews.