Being used for sex?

[Lorettalynn]

I'm pretty sure I am, would just value some opinions , been seeing guy for six months now,met online, see each other once a week due to work commitments,
Started well, in contact every day by text , good laugh and made me feel great
He says he loves me but I know he's been messaging other women online, says he's lonely and just wants to chat (I know!)
Messages have tailed off, he says he doesn't want to end things but our conversations just seem to be general chat, he sometimes ramps it up a couple of days before we're due to meet and I'm pretty sure it's just to keep me reeled in for a regular shag
He treats me badly after we've had sex, it's like he can't wait to get rid of me and can barely look at me
I'm writing this and know I should end it, I love him, how do I get my self respect back and tell him it's over, I just can't seem to do it

Brilliant! Just seen you didn't respond to his last text. Good, yes keep it that way.

You need to block him as the next thing he will do is basically harrass you into thinking you are unreasonable for ignoring him and ramp up giving you the attention he knows will work on you

We're both very stubborn so can't see him texting me, I'm feeling a bit stronger though
It's hard as we would normally see each other tomorrow 😯
But I know we would have sex then he'd be all cold after and I'd feel like rubbish again

I'm trying to think of his bad points to keep me focused
1: cold
2:emotionless
3:grumpy
4: stubborn
5: never managed to make me orgasm
6: micro penis 😂

Wow. He sounds great.

Doesn't he just! I'm feeling a lot stronger and don't think I'll text, I know I'll find it hard not to respond if he does though
I was trying to think of good points and the only thing I could come up with was good conversationalist,

I can chat to anyone, doesn't have to be him

Nothing bothers entitled men like being ignored!

When u have your 'say' even if u make good points, all they hear is 'she wants me so badly'

It seems to be only sex, and the sex isn't even good!

Honestly, OP, if this was your friend writing this stuff, what would you tell her?

You do obviously get a buzz out of the contact and for that brief moment, feel desirable and cared for, but it doesn't last as it's not based on anything solid like real love, it just fades away and is replaced on his part with dislike and contempt for you, and you for yourself.

Be kind to yourself, let this go, this will free you up to find someone really nice who will genuinely cherish you.

OP be strong! He's not worth it. All this angsting over him is stopping you from didning someone who is worth it.

Your list wasn't good. He sounds like an arse. If you didn't stop it now, then when? When he's found someone 'better' than you? That will make you feel like shit, so carry on with the no contact now.

It's very hard to go from texting someone and having them interested in your life, to not having that contact. But remember your list and that he's an arse - it's all fade and to get you to sleep with him and spend time with him when it suits HIM. Not for your own benefit.

send him the list 1 - 6

(I'm kidding, don't)

I think if I can get through tomorrow I'll be over the worst, I'm actually starting to feel a bit angry now

Angry is good.

Get. Yourself back online. And talking to other men, take your mind off him, there are some nice men out there.

Lovemusic I have been 😈 I think someone previously mentioned the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else! Being able to post here is helping a lot
Tomorrow will be hard

Ahh, why didn't you say he was a crap shag with a tiny knob?! I could appreciate you wanting to hold on to him a bit more if he made the earth move, but if he can't even rustle the pebble then head for the hills and don't look back. You're doing brilliantly

Stay strong OP! Well done

We'll be here tomorrow if you need a distraction, you're doing great

A crap shag with a tiny knob ... really ?? Dodged a bullet there 😂😂😂

I know, I just liked the attention and the chat and overlooked the rest, feeling very strong at the moment, if I can just get tomorrow over....

Well done OP at keeping strong & realising that you're worth being more than a GS. I would suggest blocking his number from your phone. I'm pretty sure most handsets have this function these days & then you don't need to worry about caving in when/if he gets in touch for his weekly shag.

I bet he isn't even that interesting either. He sounds too self absorbed to be interesting.

Hope you stay strong today op. I do kind of agree that finding someone else helps, it depends what sort of relationship you have come out of, I am trying to find someone at the momen, have had plenty of offerers but struggling as I still think about my ex ( who was a complete dick btw). There are some nice men out there and there are some that are just wanting to get their leg over, this is all good and well as long they tell us what they are looking for rather than letting us fall for them.

Thank you lovemusic, I've been up since half four stewing over all this, but onwards and upwards , today is hard as this is the day we would normally meet but I'm not prepared to accept crumbs anymore
He has a far more empty life than I do and I know I provided a lot of chat and company which I'm sure he'll miss far more keenly than I
Oh and I was speaking to someone who seems rather lovely online last night, I think I bit of lighthearted fun is in order 😈

I'm really struggling not to text now, my mood is up and down like a yo yo 😢

Not read the whole thread but I have a friend going through something very similar at the moment. My advice to her has been.

1. Don't consider yourself to be being used, that puts him in a position of power. Instead consider it that you both want very different things from the relationship. He wants a fuck buddy you want a partner.

2. Accept that he will never be your partner.

3. Look for the relationship you want. If you are happy to keep being his fuck buddy while you do then that's up to you but it is your choice on that, you are in control and do not let that relationship hamper you looking for the kind of relationship you really want.

In short take the control, decide how this is going to play out and if there is any using going to be going on make sure its using each other and its on your terms.

Good luck

Thank you harmlesschap, I've been reading the whole thread again which is giving me strength but I really am struggling today, I just want to text and say "I'm sorry please can we start again" how pathetic is that?