Another day, still a bastard!

[FuckDaddyPig]

I was woken up this morning by my DP asking me what the time was my answer "I dont know' just opening my eyes about to reach for my phone (eyes still closed) then I hear him say 'forget it ill just go all the way downstairs to find out'.
Me- ' its ok wait there, its half 8'.
He walks out with our baby ( me not realising WW3 has started in his head), and downstairs to make a bottle. I follow him (im awake now) I start to clean up (Christmas bomb site) my DD comes down, so I start to talk to her about Christmas, can hear him in the kitchen mumbling something. Then comes into the front room and asks me why 'I didn't tell him the time, and I always say I dont know and it pisses him off' he says.
Me- Oh ok im sorry I hadn't opened my eyes yet, so my first response was to say I dont know (whilst reaching for my phone).

Well I guess that's not good enough as he walked off calling me a "fucking cunt" and usual other names. My DD is helping me tidy whilst listening to this. I just apologised to her and carried on him still in the kitchen mumbling away obscenities towards me. I ignore and carry on though now im shaking like a crazy person. (He went back to bed) he will probably not come to my mums for boxing day dinner and I have to explain to people why, this will just make him look like an even more horrible man to everyone than already!
We had a great day yesterday. Well everyone else did mine was busy I dont think I sat down once .
Then today he wakes up in this foup mood, and he says its because I didn't telp him the time?!

Does that sound normal to you?
It sounds batshit to me?
I know the real reason he is pissed off because he was woken up by our DD again. His thoughts are he expects a lie in. Personally I cant remember the last time I layed in (3kids) I leave him in bed most mornings as im taking the kids to school, he sometimes goes back to bed during the day time for hours.

I dont even know why im writing this. Im just hurt, shaky and confused. We have a great day then wake up to Mr Hyde

He's just gotten up. Barking orders at the children already. Not spoken a word to me. Not that I want him to! I can now get ready.

I know pickachew if anything it makes it easier as they already know the answers to all their questions. My mum knows its not a healthy relationship

Ffs what is it with women putting up with total arseholes??

BIN HIM!!

I think the council could help here too if you go to speak to someone. They might be able to advise on changing the locks or the legal side of things.
He is continuing to act this way because you are letting him. You are allowing your children to think this is normal and this will be their blueprint for relationships in the future.
Those thoughts gave me the courage to end my relationship. Not for me but for them.

Hes tried to apologise but said instead "im soery I got angry, I was just pissed off you wouldn't tell me the time" wouldn't? not true.
He asked if him talking will make a difference I said no, our relationship is over. Its unacceptable to act like that infront of the children.

N so I've just had another load of abuse thrown at me, yes in front of my children.
He has walked out to the shop, amd took keys? I heard keys.

Apparently he didn't call me a "fucking cunt" infront of our DD and if he did it was appropriate as I am a fucking cunt.

Lovely. Happy Christmas to you too.

If a man ever, ever dared call me a 'fucking cunt' - let alone in front of my child - he would be OUT.

Dont stand for this shit. He sounds like a nasty bastard, and your children are absorbing all of this digesting behaviour and learning from it. Not acceptable.

*disgusting

What else can I say to him. He genuinely believes he isn't doing anything wrong and I have by not answering him instantly. Im going to get on with my day. Ive told him we're over, he'll just have to sit on it. I will get provisions in place about removing him as soon as I can

This makes me so sad. My dad was abusive - but not to the extent he ever spoke to my mum like that - more that he was moody and would kick off. Yesterday his son in laws were trying to sort an amazon fire stick on his tv and having problems and I could feel his mood building. The effect on me was terrible. I had to leave to room to cope. I'm 46 and I left home at 18 and he still affects me like this. The damage can be lifelong - and don't get me started on the abusive relationship I got into as soon as I left home. Please LTB x

You have told him it's over. You just have to mean it. Tell him that he isn't welcome at your mums. He can use that time to pack his stuff and be gone by the time you are back.

Tell your mum what's happened. Her and her partner can return with you later.

If he won't leave call the police to remove him.

You don't have to say anything else to him. Go out. Enjoy your day at your Mums. Let that fucker stew on it. Let this be your Lightbulb Moment OP. I had mine when my exH told me I was a stupid cunt and a mess for crying, again, when my Mum had cancer. I shall never forget the steely calm that came over me.

You can change the locks in a council property. I'm a Housing tenant AND a Housing Officer. If you are the sole name on the tenancy he has no claim via the landlord ie your local council to be there. Speak to them on Wednesday to clarify. Are you in a house or a flat with communal areas?

Your poor children

If someone called me a cunt and meant it they would be gone. This is not negotiable to me.
Also, you leave him in bed most mornings? Why? Doesn't he have a job and if not why the fuck not!?

Lazy, unsupportive waste of space.

Get rid and enjoy your children without him, life is far too short.

Sorry I meant to say I know this will be difficult to do but once you are sorted without him you will feel on top of the world (speaking from experience)

If he's taken his keys couldn't you just lock the doors and put your keys in the lock from the I side so he can't unlock it? Or bolt the door?

He sounds like an utter waste of space. Financially useless, emotionally useless, and an atrocious role model to your children. I'd be worried about your daughter learning that this is the way women should expect to be treated in a relationship, too.

The sooner you get him out of the house the better.

No no communal areas or anything like that. I will speak to them as soon as they are open

He called you a cunt? In front of your daughter? You should not be with this man.

What else can I say to him

Nothing. You remove him from the home. Don't give him a heads-up - it's best done swift & sharp. Abusers are likely to escalate when they think their control of you is failing. WA will have some good ideas on practicalities & safety measures.

I asked about communal areas because it is possible and relatively easy for the council to revoke his implied licence to enter/access the property, particularly in blocks of flats with communal areas. Not sure about houses. All the properties I deal with in work are flats. Anyway, unless your front door lock is on a mastersuited system, the actual changing of your locks should not be a problem. Obviously, it'll cause you grief because he is a twat.

He is saying im ordering him about because I have asked him to leave... im about to get the kids ready and leave for mums.

Its getting rather heated

Oh dear he really is rather insufferable isn't he.
Has he started rolling on the floor and hodling his breath yet?
Just think about how easier your life will be with just two children to look after rather than three. Plus already achived that new year resolution to lose weight.
You have everything to gain and nothing to lose

Lol we have have 3 children 8,4 and nearly 1.

What a pissant he is. Making YOU the problem again. Can you stay at your Mum's with DC's until Wednesday until there are more people around -council, more staff on at WA, locksmiths - to help you?