Fresh eyes please on this

[Messedupmethinks]

2 year old toddler away from mummy for a week including xmas

Same country U.K. . Wouldn't have minded xmas for couple of days . But the week before as well... that's my issue. My toddler will be fine for a while but surely wonder where I am after a few days

Unless it's court ordered, you can say No to this.

If you want people to advise you/give informed opinions, you need to write the full story.

Who's having him?
Why?
Whose idea?
Why didn't you say no?
Where are they taking him?
Does he know them?

Etc.

No court order. Just wanted a few points of view , other mothers opinions on this .

My opinion is that as your son isn't yet two years old, that a week is far too long.

I don't want to give to many details, he will have fun where he is and there will kids there for him to play with , he will definitely be looked after well . My issue is its to long away from me and he will wonder where I am

Who will be looking after him?

So say no then??

It's really hard to have an opinion on this without knowing anything about it

Messedup people are sitting here ready to help you work through this and figure out if it is/isn't ok.

Ignore the 'you should have done this and that' responses for the moment, but please get back to (for example) WellEr because if you can give us this information, it will be a lot easier to figure out if it's reasonable or not.

Whatever the contact you end up with over Xmas, everyone needs to remember that it's for the CHILD, not for the adults benefit. Which is why people are asking does DC know these people well, will DC be comfortable or scared, when having contact with other people what's the longest DC has been away on those occasions so would this timespan be too much as it's out of context with DCs previous experience - etc and so forth. Then we can all see what it looks like and give you really good support.

Who are they? Are we talking the child's father here, or more extended family?

Who has told you this has to happen?

its to long away from me and he will wonder where I am

Enough said.

please someone tell me is a week to long for a toddler to be away from mum ? (In my eyes it is )
The dad doesn't seem to care what I feel , just that child gets to know his side of family- which I'm fine with n agree its good for child to know them.

In my opinion he's being selfish and controlling. I know that

It's not an objective thing. If the toddler is going with an adult who they know very well, preferably live with and have an excellent relationship with, they are used to being away from their mother for shorter periods and they know (most of) the people they're staying with, then it's absolutely fine. Lots of mums work, need to go to hospital, etc. Think about mums who go into hospital to have DC2!

If the toddler would be going away for a week to stay with complete strangers and won't know anybody and has never been away from mum before, this scenario has actually been proven to be damaging/traumatic.

But there is an entire world of grey area between those and we can't judge your situation if you insist on not giving any of the details.

If you're unhappy with the arrangements say no.

It really is that simple.

People on here are trying to help and advise but it's very difficult when you drip feed the requisite info

OP, people are telling you that we can't say if a week is too long without knowing more details. It entirely depends on the child, how well the child know his or her father and the other family members who will be in the house over Christmas.
If the father takes the child to hismums every weekend, and they have a family meal with aunties uncles and cousins coming round, then it won't be a problem.
On the other hand, if father has had very little to do with the child all year, and the child will be meeting lots of people for the first time, then they will probably be confused and wonder where you are.
Which of the 2 scenarios is closest to your situation?

X posted with BertieBotts. 😊

Say no, this doesn't work for me and arrange something else.

Sorry I don't mean to drip feed . Toddler is very confident but when I say never been away from me , I don't mean as a few hours /the day etc . Never over night . I'm not a first time mum either toddler does have siblings.

Child went yesterday. I'm fine with a few days then to see me then he can see them for xmas time .

please someone tell me is a week to long for a toddler to be away from mum

Yes. It is.

But without all the facts, how can we say? What if the mum was on smack or something?

You are his mother. Does he usually live with you? Are you still with the father? If you don't want him going for a week then just say. Compromise on three days or something.

Is there anyone who can stick up for you?

You want detailed and definite answers but you won't offer anything but vague musings yourself?
No come on. Tell us the set up please.

Don't know the full story but absolutely no way would I ever have allowed any of my children to be away from me for a week at that age. Yes a week is way too long, yes he will be confused and upset and asking for mummy. There may be other kids there but he will be tired every day and likely tears and asking for mummy. No way would I allow it. Are you being pressured into this by your partner? If so you obviously have bigger issues to be addressed but no it would never have happened with my children.
Can you get support in real life? Your partner sounds like the one you need a week away from not the toddler.

How far from you is he? Where has his dad taken him?

I'd be flipping the fuck out if he told me I wasn't 'allowed' to see him in all this time. This is way to extreme for a tiny toddler who's never been away before.

The question is, why on earth did you agree?