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Original poster

DH lying about where he is

141 replies

HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 18:18

So he's gone out on his works xmas do, told me he was going to town in fact that's a lie, because on Facebook one of the people he's with said they where in the city.

He called me and I asked where he was, he said I'm in the town, I said oh right because according to Facebook you are in the city? Then he told me he was, and that he'd lied

He also told me the a woman from his work (who is known as a homewrecker) is not there. Guess what? Yep she's there alright

So, how do you deal with this type of lying??

He also said "look if you're gonna kick off I'll stay out all weekend"

Raging is an understatement.

Why fucking lie?

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 10/12/2016 18:57

Why is his phone not working ? I bet he's turned it off - coward .
Sending you strength x

SheldonsSpot · 10/12/2016 19:02

If someone lies about stupid little stuff like this in a relationship, like whether he's in town or the city (which is just bizzare, why lie about that?), then it's probably either because they're just so used to lying it becomes second nature, so they lie for the fun of it or because that behaviour is entrenched, whether the lie is important or not.

Or it's because your (over)reaction to really unimportant stuff means they're treading on eggshells and trying to manage your reaction.

I'm inclined to think he's the former, although your 'home wrecker' comment does make me wonder if it's the latter.

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:06

Actually if I've posted anything out of order on here (the homewrecker comment) then it's because I've finally snapped and I'm not thinking rationally at the moment

Apologies if it's offended anyone

OP posts:
Pestilence13610 · 10/12/2016 19:11

Stop apologising, you are going to need your big girl knickers on to sort out why he lies.

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:13

I don't even want to see him, I have just fucking had enough, if the phone rings later it will be going straight to voicemail.

I have fucking had enough

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 10/12/2016 19:13

Op I think all political correctness is allowed to go out of the window given the circs.

Empress13 · 10/12/2016 19:19

He's a lying Tosser and been found out!

Lock your doors and turn your phone off he can go sofa surf at homewrecker's house !

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/12/2016 19:22

Nothing to do with 'political correctness'. It's out of order to call a woman a homewrecker and she has nothing to do with OP's husband anyway; he was messaging her about work. It's HIS behaviour that is in question here, not this random woman's. Just stop it.

OP, think about what you are actually prepared to do, how far you are prepared to go with taking your husband to task - and work from there. You can't do anything until he gets back anyway as he's out of contact. I would be angry at that. He should be contactable.

All that said, there must be something going wrong in your relationship for him to be required to ring you on a work night out and for you to be checking on FB where he is and challenging him on it. There's no trust in your relationship and maybe that's warranted from your side. It sounds as if he has form for something. If he does then be careful with your ultimatums because if you routinely make and break them then you lose credibility. The game-playing has to stop.

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:24

Thanks, I'm just totally livid and it takes a lot for me to snap but when I do I lose it big time

Still shaking with rage. Honestly I want to beat his fucking arse

OP posts:
Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:25

I wasn't checking on him on FB, he's not even on FB, but I'm friends on there with one of his workmates so it came up on my newsfeed, I think at that point I had every right to ask him to ring me and tell me the truth

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 10/12/2016 19:30

You sound absolutely at the end of your tether.

All I can suggest is that, if you're serious, get all your documents together and in a safe place- passports, wedding and birth certificates, mortgage details, savings, bank statements, pay slips, insurance, car registration documents. IF you tell him it's over and he kicks off, you need to make sure that you have RL support and that you're safe.

Just be as prepared as you possibly can be

Butterymuffin · 10/12/2016 19:34

Don't pick him up. He can deal with the consequences of that. And think about whether he is really committed to you or not.

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:38

Well he's obviously not if he's lying to me.

So now I'm sat here going out of my mind wondering what the fuck he is up to, it's not fair in fact it's downright cruel. And that's supposed to be love is it?

He doesn't give a fucking shit

OP posts:
Lorelei76 · 10/12/2016 19:38

Id say don't pick him up but tbh I doubt he will call for a lift until tomorrow....

I think he's useless, sorry, sounds like you should get rid. What's the point when you can't trust a word he says?

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:39

"I'll stay out all weekend" the motherfucker can stay out for the rest of his life the lying bastard

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 10/12/2016 19:45

I'm sorry OP.

incogKNEEto · 10/12/2016 19:47

I agree with you, why should you run around picking him up from the station etc when he doesn't have th courtesy to tell you the truth? Sod him, let him find his own way home!

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 19:50

Starting to get upset now. Obviously he thinks so little of me that he can't be honest. Disgusting behaviour.

Feel like crying

OP posts:
ememem84 · 10/12/2016 19:54

Agree. Don't pick him up.

Let him find his way home. Use this time and your anger to energise yourself and sort out what's next.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 10/12/2016 19:59

You poor thing Op . Horrible feelings to have , I've been there .

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 20:02

His train is due in 15 mins and hasn't rang, probably had no intention of coming home

Wonder where the fuck he'll be staying, the only one of his workmates that lives in the city is the lass I posted about earlier, all the rest of them live thru our way (city is 20 miles away)

OP posts:
Doublemint · 10/12/2016 20:05

Don't pick him up and try not to think about what he will end up doing. Probably sleeping in a train station somewhere (let's hope so!) rather than round at a mates.
The way he has treated you is awful, and not just tonight. I'd be having a really careful think about how things can move on from here.

Original poster
HomeShapedBox · 10/12/2016 20:10

As far as I'm concerned the marriage is over.

I can't forgive this, I just can't

OP posts:
Doublemint · 10/12/2016 20:14

Flowers he has lied repeatedly to you and then tried to emotionally blackmail you tonight. And showed zero empathy to how his actions are affecting you time and time again.
Time to get those ducks in order etc etc. I couldn't put up with lies or behaviour like this either.

FuckingHellz · 10/12/2016 20:32

Ah I'm sorry you're going through this, I really feel for you. Your upset comes through in your posts. You'll get through this whatever happens x

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