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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 16:45

Do you resent your ex or your children you sound very frustrated.

ElspethFlashman · 07/12/2016 16:46

So what age are the two that are going to be left behind with him?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:46

Graphista what like he did you mean ?

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:46

It's been going on since JANUARY?

Jaysis. Those poor kids.

Manumission · 07/12/2016 16:46

Well how do you feel about that? Do you mean you're planning it? You'd hardly see them at all from the other side of the globe.

And what was the sudden death of the dad's girlfriend caused by?

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 07/12/2016 16:47

Have SS offered you any support OP? If not would you feel able to reach out and ask for some?

I did parenting classes as part of a course I did, they are really helpful. I think you'd benefit a lot from them. You learn techniques to diffuse tension rather than add to it. Which is a godsend when you have teenagers. We all know teenagers thrive off drama. You need to not feed the drama.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:47

ElspethFlashman 12 and 14 .... They can hop on a plane whenever they want but I'm
not doing any good here am I

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 16:48

Who cares what he did? You are their parent, they're not dolls.

It's like listening to a child talk. "He started it."

Iamdobby63 · 07/12/2016 16:48

I think again you are saying things that you don't actually mean.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:49

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours - I've done the course. Here's the thing. I did exactly as you are supposed to, removed myself from the situation. My mistake was calling him.

OP posts:
LIZS · 07/12/2016 16:49

So why do you want them home now, if you are so willing to abandon them in 6 months' time. Isn't there the slightest possibility they are picking up on this now, hence the behaviour. Wouldn't you need a court order to remove Ds so far from his df ? He could even prevent you moving from uk . Who would you expect them to reside with then , their apparently unreliable df or put them in care Hmm. Doesn't seem like the decision of a responsible or caring parent.

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 07/12/2016 16:50

as it stands I see DS and DD1 and I back in Australia by July and the other two staying with him

I'm a little confused by this OP. You started this thread because you were concerned about the children having been with their father since the weekned?

And now yuo plan on moving to the other side of the world and leaving them with him?

Can you see how that makes no sense?

I really do think you need to give your GP a call.

Iamdobby63 · 07/12/2016 16:50

And where are you getting your information from that they are happy to live with him?

ElspethFlashman · 07/12/2016 16:51

I'm not sure OP does want them home now.

I think she just wants weekly contact. But it's hard to tell - OP is that correct?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:51

LIZS I didn't say I do want them home.

OP posts:
ClarissaDarling · 07/12/2016 16:51

Getting more and more incredulous... The 'hop on a plane' comment is beyond. I know we can't talk about previous threads but I'm really reminded of a pp with MH difficulties who as part of that would post more and more confabulated things and was almost goading other p to berate her. OP I absolutely hope that your indifferent attitude to your children is not real!

WordsAreWind · 07/12/2016 16:54

I'm sorry to be frank, but you need to see a Doctor.

You are sounding more erratic and unstable with every thread you start.

HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:54

I just read the old threads by the OP. I don't know but can MNHQ step in and is there anywhere the OP can be directed to, or help directed to her (kinda new around here).

I really hope those children are OK.

HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 16:54

Has he just met his new girlfriend I wouldn't be comfortable with my child being with a strange woman. You don't know if they are in a stable relationship. Is your home Australia I can understand your frustration.

TupsNSups · 07/12/2016 16:55

I think she just wants weekly contact

I actually think she just wants weekly attention from MN. Surely no one in their right state of mind is so blind to see the damage she is doing.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:56

HoridHenryrules - the last ones only been dead since January so he's probably been with this one since Feb - I don't know this at all but anyway, she's just acquired two teens

OP posts:
HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 16:57

Is the op Australian?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:57

HoridHenryrules - no but we can live there, lots of connections etc

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:57

HoridHenryrules I don't think she cares. Her last posts are about her not wanting her children. There is absolutely no thought about the children going on, about how it could be affecting them, or about how they feel about things.

Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 16:58

Unless your ex is a raving lunatic, it sounds to me like they are better off with him. He should be applying for residency. I would in his shoes. Give those children some stability. And no, I wouldn't be encouraging contact with you because you seem incapable of separating their needs from your own problems. Sorry.