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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:23

Why was the child sedated?

TupsNSups · 07/12/2016 16:24

Op.

I mean this in the nicest possible way but you need help, serious help for your mental health.

You need to sort yourself out for your dc, you are not putting them first in any way at all, it is thread after thread of really bizarre posts from you regarding your ex and dc.

You really do sound quite unstable and I think in all honesty you need to send the other dc to live with your ex also until you sort your head out and get to a place where you can take care of your dc without pushing all this drama onto them.

They will end up really fucked up adults unless you do the right thing and get some help.

Maudlinmaud · 07/12/2016 16:24

Op where there any positives from todays meeting? What did it achieve?

WyfOfBathe · 07/12/2016 16:24

WyfOfBathe - I am the resident parent
Well given that your kids aren't living with you, I would beg to differ.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:28

His girlfriend died whilst he had them for two weeks, he told her that if he'd been with the girlfriend instead of me forcing the kids on him she would be alive. Child became fucking hysterical and an ambulance was called. Of course he didn't say any of that. Just blamed me and since I fought to get her back - he kicked off at the hospital - didn't even tell me where she was, she's been all daddies girl, he saved her by rushing her to hospital etc, loads of attention. I took him to court to draw s line, he half heartedly fought back but didn't want to have to go and get a house, furnish it etc so he gave up. Now he's living with a women in her furnished house etc he's decided it's super dad to the recuse. He can crack on tbh

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:29

Your poor children.

I really hope social services help them.

Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 16:30

And when you had a 'spat' with your 12 year old, you sent her to him? Hmm

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:30

WyfOfBathe - 2 of them are which rather pour water on any suggestion I'm not fit. They are thrilled to bits at the extra space and attention etc, which should have been there from the day we split via two patents doing the right thing but no.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:32

HoopsandEverything what on earth do you think SS will do ? It beggars belief .., parents with disabled children keeping them awake 24/7 don't get assistance, kids who've been abused don't get pschy help they need and you honestly think SS have any interest in this ?

OP posts:
bibliomania · 07/12/2016 16:34

It sounds like you don't want the dc to be with him, but you don't want the dc to be with you, either.

What do you see as the least-bad outcome in the immediate term? Don't provide an answer that requires people to have a miraculous change of character - dds not to fight, ex to suddenly act differently. Based on who people are, and where people are, and your own ability to cope, what might work for now?

Iamdobby63 · 07/12/2016 16:34

If they have had their phones taken away then they can't organise it themselves.

Won't you still have to cooperate regarding DS?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:34

Trifleorbust no I called him asking for his help with her behaviour, he took her for the day she was calm enough when she left me, DS refused to go with him so I thought so one to one time with him she'll enjoy. He then kicked off and started with the shit about she'll let you know if she's coming back so I did text in anger well keep em then and he showed it to her

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:35

Hopefully they'll do what's right for the kids which means finding them a safe and stable home where they are not blamed for being the cause of someone's death and not living with any person who is unsafe.

Maudlinmaud · 07/12/2016 16:35

Ss would be there to offer support and there are lots of different branches of ss support which work with children and indeed parents. Things like parenting classes for example.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:36

Iamdobby63 - no DS won't see him, ex won't fight for him I'm pretty sure, we'll see I guess.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 07/12/2016 16:36

There's your problem right there: you act in anger.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:36

HoopsandEverything I think you need to calm down. They are hardly candidates for adoption

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:37

Trifleorbust sure I understand that

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 16:38

Pisssssedofff I think you need to gain some perspective and see how serious the situation actually is and how damaging it is on your children. Neither of you are providing adequate parenting at the moment from what you've written.

LIZS · 07/12/2016 16:40

If he took dd3 for one to one why did you then allow dd2 to leave rather than her return. Confused it is very unusual for a school aged child to have her own flat, especially when there is a parent around. I'm afraid your family sounds dysfunctional and you are setting a disturbing pattern for your dc future. SS are unlikely to keep away.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:41

All that with their dad happened in January, clearly they are over it if they want to live with him aren't they ?

OP posts:
Manumission · 07/12/2016 16:41

Oh good grief OP this is like your Oxford University thread all over again. You do take some wacky ideas into your head.

How on earth do you see this one playing out? I mean, how do you imagine this will resolve?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:42

LIZS SS are very welcome to come and check things over again, I passed the inspection last time

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 16:43

Manumission - as it stands I see DS and DD1 and I back in Australia by July and the other two staying with him

OP posts:
Graphista · 07/12/2016 16:44

You would happily live the other side of the world from your not yet adult children? Shock