Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:43

PigletWasPoohsFriend - no they were in a cupboard under the stairs but I left food

Manumission · 08/12/2016 16:48

we all joke about me being the difficult patient who bucks the trend of wanting immediate appointments).

Grin

I think I was getting the same rep. I'm slowly acclimatising now Smile

Manumission · 08/12/2016 16:49

no they were in a cupboard under the stairs but I left food

😂

And an air tube? 😉

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:50

Manumission - there was no need to spoil them 😁

Manumission · 08/12/2016 16:52

Fair point Smile

Iamdobby63 · 08/12/2016 16:54

I would have thought you would have been better with anti d's than sleeping pills, just to keep you on an even keel.

Rather than patrolling the stairs you would have been better off having the rule that electronics stay downstairs after lights out, no wonder the school run was a nightmare.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:56

Iamdobby63 - it's a nice thought but they'd go and get them after I'd fallen asleep.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 08/12/2016 16:58

PigletWasPoohsFriend - no they were in a cupboard under the stairs but I left food

It was a perfectly reasonable question.

So it is ok for him to have them when you go on holiday for 2 weeks but not now? Why exactly is that?

HoridHenryrules · 08/12/2016 17:01

Piglet behave yourself or else I will get pooh bear on to you.

UnbornMortificado · 08/12/2016 17:01

New a short course won't do any damage I wouldn't worry.

Iamdobby63 · 08/12/2016 17:02

If they do that then they should be confiscated for 24 hrs.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 17:06

I don't understand, you are moving back to a four bedroom house and then you are moving to Australia with two of them only? That's like two moves in less than six months - why not leave the two you don't want to take to Australia where they are?

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 17:08

Australia's not going anywhere that can wait. And the 2 DD's will be in those bedrooms believe me.

SparklyMagpie · 08/12/2016 17:12

When I was on zopiclone I was still able to wake up to see to my son :) if anything I was more alert especially when I heard the tiniest noise, I think it just helps you drift off and feel a little more rested. Definitely agree not to take them in the day though!

Give rescue remedy a try! I've used a few of their products, maybe give the chewing gum a try, I used to take them before a driving lesson an really calmed my nerves

I also used to use the rescue remedy night version in the little bottle, a couple of drops on your tongue or in a glass of water before bed and I'd ( still do) whack on a podcast for relaxation.

Search on the iTunes store or Android store for " Joseph Clough" the guy is a godsend with so many free podcasts you can listen to or download, has a selection of hypnosis tracks or just general tracks about how to manage anxiety, moods etc. He was brilliant and I found I was so calm I'd drift off before it even got into the session

I suffer anxiety and also have suffered insomnia for years an I know what it's like when you're running on empty. My son is teething and waking up at 5/5.30am atm and it's killing me through my lack of sleep so I do understand on that front

You can also download quite a good selection of apps to help such as CBT and other apps :)

Take a look and give a couple a try.

Don't be scared to take your sleeping, I was so frightened at first when I was prescribed them but the next morning my mum even turned round and said how refreshed and glowing I was looking, and that was just one night managing to get a good sleep

I think the children are best where they are for the minute, but I'd urge you to use this time to focus on your health and hopefully the dust will settle and you'll feel more in control of your emotions

I hope atleast one little bit of what I've written helps in some way

LIZS · 08/12/2016 17:13

But yesterday you didn't want them back! Or will you if they grovel and come back on your terms? Are you intending dd1 to move school mid gcses?

CremeBrulee · 08/12/2016 17:13

I think you need an intervention from SuperNanny. You need to set some boundaries but that's difficult because of the chaotic and reactive way you behave. If you were calmer and less manic consistently you'd be able to see things more clearly and perhaps then provide some structure for your DCs.

Carmen1001 · 08/12/2016 17:15

Once again I'm ever so confused. OP you genuinely sound unwell and quite frazzled. Of course everything is worse after no sleep but your children are hardy little. Haven't you any control over them? I think AD's are what you need, your life seems to have been one big chaotic stream of bad choices and has went on far too long to just be sleep deprivation.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 17:32

Had a good meeting with DS's head teacher, more than one way to skin a cat and all that. Also spoke with DS's teacher who was much more helpful than the DDs school tbh, they now have a copy of the court order and an action plan

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 17:33

Iamdobby63 then how do they do homework? They've answer for everything.

Iamdobby63 · 08/12/2016 17:38

If they have homework that evening that has to be done that evening on computer then I would allow them to do that but straight after they get taken away again.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 17:41

Iamdobby63 - I'll keep that thought for if/when they come back but for now at least it's not for me to manage and he's only got two so he should have a better handle on all that.

Iamdobby63 · 08/12/2016 17:50

Sorry you have lost me on the action plan at DS school?

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 17:54

Well a major concern was he'd be snatched after school. The girls will be missing him and when I phoned the Csa to let them know about all this they said ex will be expected to pay CS until this gets to court, 5 months last time then it would be reduced. But not by much, you get a fair bit for one child and not much more for two or three, four or more is nothing, hence I could see him wanting DS

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 17:56

He will be fully expecting me to be paying him CS not the other way round. When that penny drops it'll either be all out war over DS or the girls will be on my doorstep.

Iamdobby63 · 08/12/2016 17:58

I see, it's good for DS school to be kept in the loop when changes happen at home anyway. if he is living with someone can their income can be taken into account.

Has he started court proceedings for residency yet as far as you know?