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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 15:09

Was at my child's school play. Look it's not unusual for kids of a divorced family to build the one they are with up into a super hero and the one who is actually there for them gets treated like shit, that's normal I'm told.

I'm going to wait for this referral, see what that brings and again, thanks for the input and allowing me to let off steam much appreciated.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 15:09

The one they are NOT with, bloody phone, you know what I meant

NotStoppedAllDay · 08/12/2016 15:16

Op do you have any friends around to talk all this over with?

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 15:23

The reason I post too much on mumsnetvis I don't, no family either. But I don't think I'll be posting again tbh

Montane50 · 08/12/2016 15:34

Can i ask what is your occupation?
I remember reading you apparently have a good job-does your employer offer benefits such as counselling (it may be quicker than the nhs route)

ilovesooty · 08/12/2016 15:37

I'm struggling to believe your GP prescribed sleeping tablets as a first intervention.

CremeBrulee · 08/12/2016 15:46

I thought the same reason the sleeping tablets. Likewise it was handy that the OP had so quickly and easily booked a GP appointment for the following morning when pushed about seeking help yesterday.

UnbornMortificado · 08/12/2016 16:00

Ilove it isn't unheard of although most GP's won't (just in my experience)

OP if it's a Z drug you've been prescribed zopiclone zopidem etc. There is herbal alternatives that aren't as strong if your worried about your son waking.

Did the GP say anything about your general mood?

Manumission · 08/12/2016 16:00

One of the loveliest things (i'm a saddo) about moving far away from London 2 years ago was discovering that here you ring the surgery hoping for an appointment next week and they're ever so keen to get you in the same day or tomorrow morning. Services vary so much from region to region and town to town.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 16:08

CremeBrulee This is actually possible in my surgery too if you are struggling with mental health problems. They usually are able to offer you a GP appointment within the day, or on the next day, as they've realised this can often stop you accessing more costly services, or ending up in crisis.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:09

Dare I risk replying. I haven't slept like at all since Friday. I asked for sleeping pills and he gave them to me.

We talked about a few things, I had 3 miscarriages and a late abortion for medical reasons and literally just got up and went home each time. I've been back in contact with the hospital re that. I've also got an appointment for blood tests because the week before my period I could literally kill somebody so he wants to rule out any underlying medical/hormonal issues.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 16:10

Manumission I find this too. I like to book my appointments months in advance so I know when they are and I can schedule everything around them and the reception team always offer me the next nearest one (we all joke about me being the difficult patient who bucks the trend of wanting immediate appointments).

midsomermurderess · 08/12/2016 16:11

This is exhausting, isn't it.

HoridHenryrules · 08/12/2016 16:12

I know how you feel if I was in your position I probably would act the same as you. Your DD wants to stay with her dad and if everything is safe and she is happy then let her stay with him for a little while. Keep in contact with her as much as you possibly can. She will wake up one day and see that he is not a go to for support. For her well being leave her where she is. Take the time to heal yourself.

Vent anytime you need to express every distorted thought you have, its better out than in. Know one knows what you look like. Threads like these tend to show the worst in people never take it personally.

HoridHenryrules · 08/12/2016 16:15

How old are you op?

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:16

Not that old that I'm menopausal if that's what you're thinking.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:18

And honestly in my job you have to have the skin of a rhino so I don't take anything personally. I know what I do for my kids and they've not spent the last 6/7 years in purgatory, I have the photos to prove it

UnbornMortificado · 08/12/2016 16:27

Lack of sleep is horrendous it makes everything ten times worse.

I really wouldn't take them during the day as it might wreck your sleep pattern even more (I'm not a HCP just a long term MH patient)

You seem to be posting less erratically then you were yesterday.

HoridHenryrules · 08/12/2016 16:31

I am looking the other way now of course not. You could try herbal remedies to help you through. Are you on any contraception?

Your ex's inconsistencies has made your dd more curious about him. You cant stop her she wants to get to know him. Be there when she needs you.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:33

I haven't slept probably since I dared to spend two weeks away last Christmas. DS is like a bloody newborn still. The girls would be up til 2am playing on their laptops unless I patrol the stairs and then they bounce out of bed at 6am demanding to arrive at school for 7.45 to socalise. I am utterly fucked. At least when DD1 gets up at 5.30 she sorts her own breakfast out.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:36

I'm moving back into my 4 bedroomed house where they can all have a room each, they currently share and I'm in the dining room. They will have to change school but they can walk to it and they've known the neighbourhood kids since toddlerhood. I'm making the changes I am in control of and they'll have to suck it up. MIL lives half an hour away so she can roll her sleeves up and get involved if she wants - bet she doesn't - but distance has been an excellent excuse used by all up until now.

UnbornMortificado · 08/12/2016 16:37

Have you had sleeping pills before?

I used to wake up too my DC when I was prescribed zopiclone but being on antidepressant many years have probably's give me more of a tolerance.

It should only be a 7-14 day prescription as they can be very addictive. When I was hospitalised a few years ago I was on them a month and had withdrawals when I stopped.

wintersbranches · 08/12/2016 16:39

I think OP had been banned.

Newbrummie · 08/12/2016 16:40

UnbornMortificado - no I haven't, I'm quite nervous tbh, I know of people who've become addicted. I've bought rescue remedy and I'll be giving that a go first.

On another note, DD1 saw DD2 leaving school who had a face like thunder apparently, so he's in for the full treatment tonight I'd imagine.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 08/12/2016 16:41

I haven't slept probably since I dared to spend two weeks away last Christmas.

I presume the DC were with your ex?