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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 07/12/2016 23:02

If even 50% of what you've said on this thread is true then your children would be better off in any home but yours.
You need to take responsibility for yourself and your health and if and when you do that maybe you can be a parent again but right now you are hurting too many vulnerable people.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:02

As it happens I didn't buy the shoes.

OP posts:
CremeBrulee · 07/12/2016 23:03

Who gives away a car?

You did, according to you a few posts ago. You're beyond erratic.

Very sad is the poor DC in the middle of this chaos.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:05

WyfOfBathe as I said earlier my major concern is if I start fighting back with my reasons why I think he's awful, its historic so my concern is nobody will care.
Cafcass were great last time but it is all water under the bridge now

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:06

CremeBrulee leaving a car with your ex husband who is on the finance agreement is a bit bloody different to him giving it to his girlfriend who is not, no ?

OP posts:
CremeBrulee · 07/12/2016 23:10

If you had not given the car to him, he would not have been able to pass it on to his new partner.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:13

CremeBrulee be honest, it's not really something you'd expect though is it. I appreciate there's no accounting for her dying. Equally having fucked up you might expect a person to pay the car finance to prevent a credit is due that results in the mother of your kids being able to house them easily

OP posts:
Evilstepmum01 · 07/12/2016 23:14

Jeeez OP are you still going? How have you as a functioning adult not stepped up and sorted this shit? I;ve read your other posts and am agog at you and your actions.

You need help, but more importantly you need to help yourself and not blame everyone else.

I hope your kids have found somewhere stable and feel wanted. What a shit christmas for them.
I hope your GP can help you

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:14

Or perhaps he could take the matter to court and sort it all out. But it's not affecting him is

OP posts:
BumDNC · 07/12/2016 23:17

Another gazillion posts on the subject of you.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:17

Evilstepmum01 Well clearly I'm not a functioning adult then am I. Sort this shit, til what the next time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:18

BumDNC - it's about a car actually

OP posts:
Evilstepmum01 · 07/12/2016 23:20

Sort this shit, til what the next time.

Yup. We call it life. Its not easy.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:21

Evilstepmum01 - it's not fair on the kids though is it. If I pull the plug, they get peace.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 07/12/2016 23:23

When you refer to his deceased GF's ex husband - is he only an "ex" because she died?
Was she having an affair with your ex husband when she died? (would explain why it is in his garage)
I am trying to work out why this man is holding onto your car.
Out of spite because his wife was cheating on him?
Because he genuinely thinks it is legally his, as your XH gave it to his wife, putting it into her estate and then inherited by him?

Being the registered keeper does not make you the owner of the car. If the finance was in joint names (even if it wasn't) then it sounds like you both intended it to be his car. Otherwise, why let him take it in the first place?

Sorry, not the point of the thread, I'm just trying to work out how some people have enough money not to bother following up recovering a £40K that they're still paying for! Shock

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:25

He's not paying the car finance, neither am I tbf, but he's in a position to and I'm not.
So no we'd split, he moved in with her after a good few months so no funny business, seemed nice enough and all that.

Obviously he tells himself they'd still be together had she not died. January she passed and where are we, December and he's cock lodging elsewhere, says it all doesn't it

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:27

Sorry I misunderstood, no the ex husband of dead girlfriend. No they'd long split too I think. He's in charge of her estate though, they had kids. I think he's just refusing to deal with any of it

OP posts:
Evilstepmum01 · 07/12/2016 23:30

No, your and your ex's behaviour is absolutely not fair on your kids.

Pulling the plug? Biscuit

Ellisandra · 07/12/2016 23:31

So neither of you are bothering to pay for the finance on the car.
Are the finance company not chasing you for that? Shock

How on earth did the car end up in his garage in the first place?

Why on earth have you not engaged a solicitor to write to him and tell him it is your car, and to make it available on X Date for you to collect (albeit with a recovery truck if you have not key?)

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:35

Finance company went to the dead girlfriends ex's garage with a truck to recover it and dead girlfriends ex did not show up. I kid you not that's the end of the matter as far as they are concerned. Sure we get the odd phone call, they aren't doing any more than that though, obviously as I say it's causing me more problems than him.

OP posts:
Nirvanababy · 07/12/2016 23:35

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WordsAreWind · 07/12/2016 23:37

Who's looking after your 6 year old ds whilst you're on here all day and night posting?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:37

Nirvanababy - goodnight

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 23:37

WordsAreWind - he's in bed funnily enough

OP posts:
WordsAreWind · 07/12/2016 23:39

You've been posting here solidly all day, even when you were supposed to be at the school meeting your DD's.

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